Confessions of a Redhead
by The Potter Identity
Summary: What with school, boys, hormones, boys, puberty, boys, egotistical boys, boys, tests, boys, the dark lord, boys, my life is pretty hard to handle. But I do my best. Welcome to my world....chaos.
1. Prologue

Hi everyone! And welcome to the premiere of my new fic! I'm so excited I have been waiting FOREVER to start writing this. It has been sitting in the confines of my crazed brain waiting to be written. So, without further ado, Confessions of a Red head…

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Lily Evans was sitting at the kitchen table at 11:02 on Saturday July 23rd, when it came. She was groggily digging into her bowl of captain crunch, musing over what 6th grade would be like. She had always loved the summer, and now it was drawing to a close, they began their new year in early August having been released for summer vacation at the end of May.

The end of the summer holidays promised another long boring school year that would only be survived with her two best friends, Emily Johnson and Ted Tonks. She couldn't imagine how she would be able to stay alive without them. She'd been friends with Emily since she was three, and Ted she had met last year. He was a good-looking boy, tall for his age, with soft brown hair that almost covered his warm eyes. True he was shockingly clumsy at times, but it was always a laugh.

She sighed. One more week. One more beautiful week before she would be trudging back and forth with ten pounds of textbooks and homework assignments slung over her shoulder.

Lily was woken from her thoughts when she heard a soft tapping on the kitchen window. She looked up to see the source of the noise. To her great surprise there was a large tawny owl tapping its beak on the window, in such a purposeful way, it looked as though it was politely knocking as if it were a houseguest.

Lily stared at it for a full three minutes before she seemed to snap back to reality and shakily got up to open the window. Now had her mother been in the room, she would have been subjected to a long lecture about never letting wild animals into the house and would have been forced to wash her hands so many times they'd be red. But luckily her mother was not in the room and Lily was so overcome with curiosity that she just had to let the mysterious bird in.

The owl ruffled its feathers self-importantly as if to say, "what took you so long?" it then proceeded to hold out its leg with dignity. Lily looked at it, to suddenly realize that there was a letter tied to its leg. She hastily removed it.

The second the letter was off, the owl fluttered over to her cereal and began to help itself to her captain crunch. She was about to object, and perhaps attempt to shoo it, but she was too curious about the letter.

She glanced down at it. The paper was slightly yellow and thicker then normal envelopes. After careful examination she decided that it reminded her mostly of ancient Egyptian parchment that she had seen in the museum.

It was addressed to her, why not open it? If it were dangerous, the person who sent it wouldn't have chosen a postman so conspicuous as an owl. She glanced over at the strange bird, now happily crunching the remains of her breakfast. Slowly, carefully, she opened the letter. The first piece of 'parchment' that she removed read:

HOGWARTS SCHOOL

_of _WITCHCRAFT _and_ WIZARDRY

Headmaster: Albus Dumbledore

_(Order of Merlin, First Class, Grand Sorc., Chf. Warlock, _

_Supreme Mugwump, International Confed. of Wizards)_

Dear Ms. Evans,

We are pleased to inform you that you have been

accepted at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

Please find enclosed a list of all necessary books and equipment.

Term begins on September 1. We await your owl by no

later than July 31.

Yours Sincerely,

Minerva McGonagall

Minerva McGonagall,

_Deputy Headmistress_

Lily stared at it open mouthed. What did it mean? Witchcraft and Wizardry? Was this some sort of crazed joke?

The logical part of her brain was telling her that yes indeed it was a sick prank. But somewhere else deep inside she had this feeling of excitement, that something amazing was about to happen and here was the first step. Now, the only thing to do was convince her parents.

"MUM!" Lily screeched.

Sure enough, three seconds later, her mother came hurtling into the room.

"Lily darling what's wrong?" she asked breathlessly.

"Look!" Lily replied excitedly showing the letter to her mother. She waited apprehensively for her mother's reaction. Unfortunately she began to laugh.

"Ah, Lily darling, a very good joke indeed! Did one of your friends send it?" Lily was horrorstruck.

"NO! It came by OWL! Its not some stupid prank, I swear it isn't!" Her mother turned to look at the owl, which she had just noticed and let out an almighty shriek.

"LILY! WHAT HAVE I SAID ABOUT WILD ANIMALS IN THE HOUSE? GO WASH YOUR HANDS NOW!" Lily stared back at her defiantly, tears welling up in her eyes.

"It was knocking so politely I had to let it in.," she said softly. Her mother softened.

"Lily darling, I'm sorry that this got you so excited, I don't know who would send a letter like this, but it is obviously not true. I've never heard of such a place as..." she checked the letter. "Hogwarts. I know your love for fantasy but this is just a bit to far, I'm sorry."

And with that her mother threw the letter into the garbage. Lily sat down, crestfallen, as her mother attempted to shoo, the very ruffled and annoyed looking owl out of the house. She had hoped, just once that she was special. That something out of her fantasy books would come true, that she could perform magic, or fight dragons, or be rescued by a knight in shining armor.

But of course the cold reality of the truth had to come and slap her in the face, once again. She let out a small sob, she was too gullible. But still, she couldn't quite squelch the feeling that something was about to change.

Later that night at the dinner table, halfway through her meatloaf, Lily heard it again. The soft tapping on the window. Her mother turned to look at the window and gave a cry of annoyance.

"Bloody Hell! Will they never leave us alone?" she stood up to shoo away the owl before it could fly through the open window and deliver its letter.

Lily watched dejectedly as her mother shoved the bird out and shut the window, returning to the table rather ruffled. But five minutes later it happened again, a different owl had come and was knocking again. Her mother ignored it, hoping that it would just go away. It did not go away however and was joined by yet another bird, making the knocking louder and more persistent.

"What a horrible prank." Her mother said irritably closing the curtains and locking the window.

Later on, the tapping still continuing and annoying her father and her sister, Petunia so much, that they had fled the room as fast as they could following dinner, and her mother cleaning up still looking upset, Lily was washing the dishes.

Suddenly another owl flew straight into the kitchen from the living room and dropped Lily's letter on the table.

"ENOUGH!" her mother shouted shoving the owl out of the door and running off to shut the windows in the rest of the house.

Lily grinned, wiping her hands off and slipping the letter into her pocket. Her mother pelted into the room shrieking again as a whole flock of about ten or twelve owls flew into the room all dropping letters on the table and leaving again.

Her father and Petunia had run into the room at the shouts and stood staring at the scene. Lily laughing, and sorting through the letters and her mother looking a mixture of, livid, harassed and simply shocked.

Petunia scowled. She hated things out of the ordinary, unlike her sister and all of Lily's talk of fantasy and magic. Petunia didn't like this one bit, for it certainly fell under the category of out of the ordinary.

"Honey, what is going on?" her father asked softly.

"A very, very bad joke." Her mother said stiffly handing her husband one of the letters.

He scanned the contents quickly, and a grin spread across his face. Lily was worried that he too would think it was a joke, but to her surprise he said, "I don't think it's a joke, Honey. I think we've got a witch in the family." He gave Lily a wink, who beamed.

His wife stared at him flabbergasted. "But…but it doesn't exist!" she stuttered.

"Says who?" her father asked calmly. "I believe that if Lily wants to go learn magic she has all rights to do so." Her mother was still staring at him incredulously.

"Well, how do we, er, get to this, this school?" she asked, still quite shaken by her husband's sudden belief in nonsense.

"It must say in the letter." Her father said logically.

He rummaged in the envelope and pulled out a small slip of paper with instructions.

"Its says that we're 'muggles' and therefore we probably need these are directions to 'Diagon ally' where we'll find all of Lily's supplies." He said reading the parchment.

"We'll go tomorrow and see if it's real." He said putting a hand on Lily's shoulder. "I'll take her."

Her mother sighed. "Alright."

So it was that in a day full of wonder, amazement, and shopping, Lily discovered the wizarding world. And it was with great excitement that she got into the family car on September 1st. Her brand-new books, robes and supplies stored in a shining new trunk in the back of the car. Her new wand, eleven inches, birch, with a single unicorn hair, sitting safely in her pocket. She had not let it out of her sight, ever since she had bought it a month before in Diagon Ally. Her father seemed excited as well.

When they arrived at King's cross they proceeded to the space between platforms 9 and 10. They were completely at a loss.

"Where is it?" Her father asked, stunned.

"I don't know, perhaps it's hidden." Lily said softly, her excitement deflating slightly.

What if they couldn't find the train? She was standing there dumbfounded, becoming more and more desperate by the moment, double-checking the contents of the letter for some suggestion of how to find the train, when she thought that she distinctly heard the word "muggle".

She spun on the spot, setting eyes on four people hurrying along the platform, dressed in normal clothing that was conspicuously all black. There was a tall young woman with long dark hair who looked particularly irritated, next to her a man around her age looking mildly disinterested.

He was pushing a cart with a trunk similar to Lily's but much more decorative and fancy looking. On top was perched a large black owl, (was that possible?) in a cage, looking sinisterly around through its large yellow eyes.

The woman was holding the hand of a young boy who looked no older then eight and was complaining loudly, which is most likely why she looked so disgruntled.

Finally there was a boy who looked about her age. He would have been remarkably good looking, if it hadn't been for the scowl that he now wore as he glared at the woman yelling at the younger boy.

"We're almost there Regulus, I don't like being around the muggle filth either but there's no other way of getting to the platform, so for once will you SHUT THE RUDDY HELL UP!"

A couple people turned around and shot her dirty looks. She simply glared back. They reached the barrier between the two train tracks.

"Alright," said the woman. "Rodolphus, you go first with the luggage." The man nodded, then walked forward.

Lily gasped, he was about to walk head first into the barrier, but shockingly, he didn't. Instead he simply vanished.

"Good, Sirius, you next. " the woman said, shoving the scowling boy forward.

"I'm not taking orders from you Bella." He said scathingly. She glared.

"Sirius, do you want to go to school or not? I can always ask your mother to send to you Durmstrang instead!" she growled.

The boy seemed to find this threat quite frightening and hurried through the barrier, disappearing after the other man.

"Here we go Regulus, and no it doesn't hurt. Come ON!" she said dragging the boy through, both of them disappearing after the other two.

Lily exchanged a look with her father.

"Well?" he asked, looking skeptically at the spot where they had vanished, apparently disgusted with the woman's behavior.

"We might as well give it a try." Lily said. They walked forward.

"On three, one…two…. three."

Lily took a step forward and suddenly found her self on a platform with a large scarlet steam engine waiting, as many children, almost all in their teens climbing on, hugging their parents, chatting wildly, running through crowds, groups of girls giggling, and all of them, witches and wizards. Lily grinned broadly. This was it.

"Well, you'd better get on the train. " her father said from behind her, where he had materialized seconds after her.

She smiled, and hugged him tight, knowing that she wouldn't see him again till Christmas.

" I love you dad, " she said softly.

"See you at Christmas, love. Have fun, and knock them flat!" He replied grinning.

She smiled back and rolled her trunk forward, a tiny black kitten lay sleeping in its carrier on top of it. Her father had bought it for her in Diagon ally, since she was allowed to bring a pet. She had chosen a black cat because she knew that black cats were supposed to be witch's familiars, but now that she WAS a witch it seemed sort of appropriate.

She had named it Medea after the Greek witch. Medea was now happily curled up in a bag sleeping soundly through all the noise and ruckus on the platform. She pulled the trunk over to the closest door and was having a lot of difficulty trying to get it up the stairs without killing her cat when a boy walking down the corridor paused to help her.

"Here, let me give you a hand." Lily looked up and smiled.

The boy looked to be about her age, with messy dark hair and bright hazel eyes behind a pair of glasses.

"Thanks." She said. He hoisted the trunk up into the corridor with ease.

"This your first year too?" he asked.

"Yes. Is there somewhere we're supposed to sit?" she said nervously. He laughed.

"No, sit wherever you want. No older siblings then?" She looked at him perplexed.

"Actually, yeah, but she never went here." The boy looked surprised.

"They didn't? Hang on, are you a Muggle?" she nodded.

"I think so, what is a Muggle?" He grinned.

"Definitely a Muggle. Well then, welcome to the wizarding world."

"Right."

"Let's get you into a compartment before they're all taken." He said.

He grabbed her trunk and she was forced to follow him into the first open compartment they found. He picked up her trunk and shoved it into the luggage rack.

"There we go."

"Well thank you, um…Mr.…"

"Oh, James. James Potter."

"Nice to meet you James, Lily Evans.

"Pleased to make your acquaintance Lily." James said with a smile, shaking her outstretched hand. Suddenly a boy stuck his head into the compartment.

"Any room left?" It was the dark haired boy, who Lily had seen on the platform. James turned around.

"Who are you?" he asked, eyeing the other boy with skepticism.

"Sirius Black" James scowled.

"You wouldn't want to come in then, she's a Muggle, and god forbid she disease you." He said his voice dripping in sarcasm. The other boy looked slightly taken aback.

"I'm not like them." He said softly a stony look on his face.

"Sure you aren't. Go find your Slytherin friends Black." James said fiercely.

The boy called Sirius Black glared at him for a moment then wheeled around and continued down the corridor. Lily looked at James, shocked.

"What was that about?" he had been so polite to her, but she didn't understand what about the other boy had upset him so much.

"You'll have to watch your back while you're at school Lily, there are people who will hate you without even looking at you, just because you're a Muggle. Just, stay away from them. I'll see you around."

He gave her a nod, and then left the compartment, leaving Lily as clueless as ever. She sat down; wondering what life would be like here. Hate her for what? He was nice, but he had made no sense. She supposed she'd understand eventually.

She rummaged through her bag of books she had taken to read on the train. She was about to pull out one she was in the middle of, a great book about King Arthur, _The Once and Future King,_ when her hand fell on something else.

There was a small package wrapped in red paper, with a golden ribbon, attached to which, there was a note. It read: To my darling Lily, to remember everything that happens to you in this new and wonderful stage of your life, from, Dad.

She smiled, tears welling up in her eyes, she ripped open the paper. Out fell a small green velvet notebook and a gold quill. It was the exact color of her eyes; she knew he had picked it because of that. It was from him that she had gotten them after all. She opened it up and wrote on the inside cover in the gold ink of the quill, Property of Lily Evans, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. She looked at the little notebook and smiled. It really was the perfect gift. She flipped to the first page and began to write…

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Hey! Hope you all liked it so far! I swear from here on in, it'll be almost all 1st person, it IS supposed to be Lily's diary after all. But I needed to show you how she got her diary, and I thought this would be a fun place to start. I also couldn't resist sticking Sirius and James in, as well as Bellatrix, because she's cool. I'm still trying to decide exactly how much of Lily's first 6 years I'll write, because it was meant to be a mostly 7th year stuff, but we'll see. I'd like to add that the letter from Hogwarts is _exactly _how it appears in the book, you can go check the first one, that is what it looks like. I wanted to make this fic as accurate to the story as possible, so there will be no new characters, there might be a couple names I'll have to make up since we are not given them in the books, but otherwise, I'll do my best to stick to the books. If you spot any mistakes, don't hesitate to point them out! Alright enough of me blabbing, reviews are appreciated, and see you next time!


	2. The Sorting

Hi! Thanks to all of the reviewers on the last chapter! We begin in Lily's perspective now! Enjoy!

Chapter Two – The Sorting

So I had opened the diary and had begun to write, this. After I had finally gotten down everything about meeting James Potter and Sirius Black, another boy peered meekly into the compartment.

"Hi." He said.

I swear from the way he was acting it looked as if he would wet his pants just out of the fear of talking to someone. So, of course my friendly mode kicks in and I say, "Hi! Need a seat, there's no one else here!" he looked a little surprised at my enthusiasm and looked like he'd have much rather found a slightly quieter and more relaxed person to share a compartment with, but I had a feeling that either everywhere else was full, or no one else wanted him around. I decided I liked him immediately.

He had sandy brown hair, warm brown eyes, a rather defeated look as though he ran a race every day but never won, and a very nice smile, which he flashed as he put up his trunk and sat down across from me.

"My name is Lily Evans, and I'm a Muggle, I have no clue what that means, but who cares? I'm going to learn magic!"

He smiled. "My name is Remus Lupin, and it would be wise not to tell anyone else that you are a Muggle."

I looked at him, thoroughly confuzzled.

"Why the bloody hell not?" he smiled at my breezy curse,

"Because, Muggle, means non-magic folk. You are not a Muggle, you are a witch, but you are a Muggle-born. Many people in the wizarding community, purebloods, for example, are of the belief that Muggle-borns should not be taught magic and do not belong among their "pure" children. There will be some of these at Hogwarts, who will belittle you simply because of what you are. I would advise that you do not blast your Muggle roots to the world." He finished his little monologue.

"But that's not fair!" I blurted out, before I could stop myself.

"No it isn't but it is the truth, just do your best to ignore them. There is nothing to be ashamed of." I felt a bit better after he said that. Someone accepted me.

At the moment that was good enough for me.

"So are you going to be a first year too?" He smiled and nodded yes.

"So, do you know anything else about the school?" I asked eager to hear any information about it.

"Well, I don't know much, my parents didn't expect that I would be attending so in the little time I had before I left for school they were not able to tell me much. But as far as I know, when we arrive we will be sorted into 'houses', which is where we will stay when we are not in classes."

"Why weren't you going to come?" I asked, curiosity getting the better of me.

He stared at me for a moment before muttering that he'd rather not share. I told him that it was no problem, but I was still intensely curious. I decided that my goal for the year with this boy was to figure out why he wasn't going to come.

We continued to chat for another couple of hours, he turned out to be a big reader, and we had many of the same tastes in books. He also was quite curious about "Muggle" life, and I told him what I could, and in turn he'd share with me bits of information considering the wizarding world.

I found out that there was a Minister of Magic and that there were rules and laws about how and where we could use magic. I also found out that there was an evil Wizard on the loose, who had been killing hundreds of witches and wizards.

Remus reassured me that I'd be perfectly safe at Hogwarts, after I got rather jumpy at that piece of news and upturned my box of jellybeans, which were quite bizarre I might add.

After about half an hour I finally got him to tell me the name of this wizard, which he had been strangely reluctant to do. When he said it, it was with an air of fear and sadness. Those two words held all of his woe at the loss of so many lives and all of his fear for the lives yet to be taken.

Lord Voldemort.

It didn't seem so horrible, but even as he said it, I was hit with a powerful sense of foreboding, as though this man would change my life for the worse, no matter what I did, no matter what choice I made.

But that seemed far away, so I put it from my mind.

Instead I was about to ask about this thing called Quidditch which he had kept mentioning but seemed incapable of properly explaining, as though he didn't really know how to play, but had gotten the gist of it from hearing about it so much.

Sort of like my knowledge of football. Supposedly all of these American men sit around drinking beer, eating pretzels and yelling at the TV. Something that never made sense to me and probably never will.

Anyway, so I was about to ask about this Quidditch thing, when a tall boy with sleek blonde hair threw open our compartment door. He looked rather imposing with long black robes bearing the same Hogwarts crest as was on my robes, but his also bore a large silver badge with an emerald green snake twisting around a large silver P.

"First years?" he asked with an air of not caring the least bit whether we said yes or no.

"Yes." I managed to squeak out. He seemed to sense my fear because he grinned.

"Get your school robes on, we'll be there in less then an hour."

I'm not one to take orders from random people, so of course being the idiot that I am, I asked. "And why would I do what you tell me?" He sneered and indicated the silver badge.

"Because I'm a prefect. True I can't take points from your house since you're not in one yet, but you'll do as you're told." He said in a cold drawl.

I scowled. "Who are you?" He laughed.

"You don't know? In that case, I have no reason to enlighten you, now change!" with that he swept out of the compartment.

"I don't like him." I said flatly, still glaring at where he had stood a minute ago.

Remus laughed. "Neither do I."

"So, who was he?" Remus' smile vanished.

"If I guessed right, that was Lucius Malfoy, the son of Abraxas Malfoy. Looks just like him too." Remus said with distaste.

"What right does he have to boss us around?" I asked, thoroughly ticked off at his nerve.

Remus sighed. "Unfortunately he _does _have the right to boss us around. He's a prefect, which means that he has to help enforce rules among the younger students. The problem with this system is that some prefects take advantage of their power and use it to bully younger kids. I think that if you weren't a first year, and a girl, he may have been a bit more rash about your cheek."

I sighed. So much new stuff to learn about, and to understand. At least I had made my first friend though, Remus Lupin.

We changed into our school robes with about fifteen minutes to go. When the train finally came to a halt I pulled down my trunk with Remus' aid and soon we joined the large sea of black as people slowly streamed out of the train.

We were shoved around a bit by the older students as we got off the train but a girl with a long braid of brown hair and another silver badge, told us that her name was Amelia Bones, that she was in Hufflepuff, and that we were to find Hagrid, the Hogwarts game keeper.

She indicated a large hulking silhouette with great amounts of shaggy hair, calling "Over 'ere firs' years! Firs' years this way!" although rather intimidated by this Hagrid, we did as the other prefect told us to, she had after all been kind and helpful, rather rude and self important.

Hagrid turned out to be a vast…man. I think.

He led us to the lake on which there were tied perhaps fifty small boats.

"Four to a boat, make sure, thas all there is, no mor'n four!" Hagrid shouted at the small scared faces of myself and my soon to be classmates.

Remus and I clambered into a boat. We were soon followed by a slightly pudgy but sweet looking girl, and a boy who I recognized from the train.

"Hi James!" I said brightly. He turned to look and grinned.

"Hey, Lily was it?" I nodded.

I now turned my attention to the girl, as James began to talk to Remus. She looked a little scared and quite out of place.

"Hi." I said giving her an encouraging smile. "I'm Lily. Lily Evans." She smiled weakly in return.

"Nice to meet you Lily, I'm Alice." I grinned.

"The pleasure's mine." This time she managed a real smile.

We eventually made our way across the lake. It was a cool clear night with a bright crescent moon and a light breeze. The trip was quite lovely actually.

I did get quite a bit of a shock though, when our boat was nearly overturned by a large tentacle coming out of the water. The vast sea creature which I learned from James was the giant squid, did not seem to want me for dinner, so I did the only other thing that was logical, I shook its hand…tentacle…whatever.

It was a bizarre experience but rather thrilling all the same.

Alice looked nothing short of horrified, Remus looked highly amused and James looked jealous.

Heh.

My nerves had died down as my ego soared, but they came back full force when we entered the large doors to the castle, oh yeah forgot to mention it. My school is a CASTLE! How cool is that? Very.

Anyway we entered a large beautiful entrance hall in which there stood a single witch. A tall middle aged woman in emerald robes, her hair knotted in a tight bun at the back of her neck, was standing rigidly surveying us over her glasses as we entered.

"This way please." It was not a request but a command, and we hastened to obey.

She seemed to scare Alice even more then the squid had, because the poor girl was quaking in her shoes. We followed the woman to just outside large double doors.

"I am Professor McGonagall for those of you who don't know." She said peering at each of us as though daring us to say something. "You will shortly be sorted into houses. There are four, Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff and Slytherin."

James perked up at the mention of 'Gryffindor' and hung on her every word after she had said it.

"These will be your homes for the duration of time spent at this school. Your house is your family and you succeed and suffer together. During your time here you will gain points for effort and loose points for misconduct." She put a special emphasis on the last word. "We shall now proceed with the Sorting. Please form a line behind me, thank you."

She flung open the doors and we walked behind her into a vast room with four long tables, no doubt one for each house. We were led to the end of the hall at which sat a small three-legged stool. On top of it was the most ancient and battered hat I'd ever seen. We lined up in single file and stood facing the hat. Before I knew it a large hole was formed along its seam and it began to…sing.

_Dear new students young and fresh_

_We welcome you to our lovely mesh_

_Of new and old, home of learning_

_Where the teachers will have your small minds churning_

_Preparing youngsters for the world ahead_

_While many wish that they were simply back in bed._

_I have the pleasure of welcoming you to our school_

_Now shut your mouths before you drool. _

(I noticed Alice snap her mouth shut upon these words, for she had been staring open mouthed.)

_Four houses are there for you to pick_

_To this new family you must stick_

_If you so wish to succeed _

_Stay and hear my long awaited creed_

_Dear Ravenclaw choose those of great mind_

_Who'd never dare get left behind_

_And Gryffindor thought what was the best _

_Were those of bravery beyond the rest_

_But great Slytherin had decided_

_He took the ambitious and greatly prided_

_Yet sweet Hufflepuff took the strong of heart_

_Who were willing to work hard and do their part._

_Each house you'll find_

_Has a different state of mind, _

_So try me on and you will see_

_The house in which you now shall be._

The hat finished its song with relish to roaring applause. I was utterly perplexed and little of the hat's "song" had made much sense to me but I had no choice but to wait until my turn.

I was near the middle waiting as each student sat on the stool and Professor McGonagall placed the hat on their head. I watched Alice approach the stool with such a look of fear you would of thought she was walking to her death.

She sat, literally shivering. "GRYFFINDOR!" the hat bellowed. She looked relieved and hopped up to go sit down at the wildly applauding table.

James was next. He, unlike Alice looked positively thrilled to be sorted and bound up to the stool, where McGonagall had barely touched the messy hairs on his head when it shouted "GRYFFINDOR" once again.

He looked positively ecstatic. He rushed off to sit next to Alice, grinning ear to ear. One more before me.

A greasy haired boy, who had smelled particularly disgusting, (really, do boys EVER shower?) and had a large hooked nose, stepped forward and sat on the stool. There was a long wait before the hat finally bellowed "SLYTHERIN!"

It was my turn. I stepped forward, fearing the worst. I didn't know why but I really didn't want to be in Slytherin, every one at the table had that brooding look of generally unpleasant people.

I spotted the boy, Lucius Malfoy with his arm around a girl with equally blonde hair who was cooing at him and flirting. Neither was paying any attention to the sorting.

I felt the fabric of the hat touch my head. Then I heard a voice. "Hmmm... good brain… very bright…Ravenclaw would have liked you…noble of course...very stubborn…strong willed you might say…yes, brave…ah, I know what to do with you! GRYFFINDOR!"

I breathed a sigh of relief, and then hopped up to go sit next to James.

After me there were two boys, Rookwood and MacNair who were sorted directly into Slytherin, then a boy who must have been Amelia Bones' brother because she was watching him excitedly, Edward Bones was sorted into Hufflepuff with his sister.

He was followed by a rather handsome boy named Amos Diggory who was also sorted into Hufflepuff, to my slight disappointment.

Remus was up next. He looked rather nervous and I gave him a look of encouragement. Praying to God that he would be in Gryffindor too. The hat took a while to decide. Finally to my great relief, and his too, it bellowed "GRYFFINDOR!" Remus told me later that the hat had been considering him for Ravenclaw, but had decided on Gryffindor instead. I told him that it had been the same with me.

Then a girl with light blonde hair and shockingly blue eyes, by the name of Gwenog Jones was sorted into Gryffindor and came to sit beside me to raucous applause. She waved to a girl with the same eyes, but light brown hair instead, who was a little way up the table, and the girl smiled and gave Gwenog the thumbs up.

Gwenog Jones turned to me. "That's my sister, Hestia. She's a third year. I'm Gwenog Jones, and you are?"

I decided to be equally friendly despite her attitude as though the world were built for her and her alone. "Lily, Lily Evans."

"Lovely to meet you Evans, I'm so glad. I've only met one other person in our year, and he reckons that he won't be in Gryffindor, was rather miserable about it too." She said surveying the last couple of students in the line.

"Oh? What's wrong with Ravenclaw or Hufflepuff?" I asked knowing exactly why someone wouldn't want to be in Slytherin.

Gwenog shook her head sadly. "Poor dear, he's a Black, reckons he's got no choice."

"Poor dear my ass." James apparently, had been listening in. "They are one of the most ancient pure-blood families, can't stand to be in a room with a Muggle born, they think they'll get infected. He wouldn't be able to endure anyone else besides the other stuck up pricks in Slytherin." James said staring at the boy with utter loathing.

"What is it with you and that boy? What has he ever done to you?" I demanded, He had been quite rude to him on the train.

James turned to look at me. "I'm sorry, a bit of an ancient dispute actually." He said slightly ashamed. "His entire family is evil. Always have been, always will be. Major supporters of you-know-who." Gwenog looked shocked.

"No, I don't know who." I said. Although everyone else did.

He turned to Remus. "You didn't tell her?" Remus sighed and told me that James was referring to the evil wizard he had told me about.

"Oh, Lord Voldemort?" I asked. Even as I said it I felt that horrible sense of foreboding again. There was a communal flinch from everyone around us. Only James seemed to be unaffected.

"Yes." He said. "We don't say his name if we can help it. But he has always liked targeting Muggles and Muggle borns, most pureblood families are on his side. But not the Potters!" He said defiantly.

I was still somewhat confused about this whole dark lord stuff, but I did appreciate James' indignance on the part of the Muggle borns. Of which I was one. I was only beginning to grasp what that meant.

While I was thinking, there was another round of applause from around me and another boy came over and sat down on Alice's other side.

"Frank Longbottom." I heard him telling her, "a pleasure to meet you." I turned back to watch the last few sorted.

James was watching intently and Remus was looking on with mild interest. Gwenog was chatting away to the new addition to our table, Frank.

It was Sirius Black's turn. He sat down on the stool. There were catcalls from the Slytherins, with shouts of, "No need for the hat McGonagall, send 'im over!"

"I made room for you Black!"

"Slytherin pride Black!"

Sirius merely scowled at them and sat in silence. Did that boy _ever_ smile?

The hat was placed on his head and there was a long wait, many of the Slytherins were looking at each other confused, apparently they expected him to be sorted without a thought.

Finally the hat's mouth opened and it shouted, "GRYFFINDOR!" There were gasps across the hall, everyone burst into chatter and the Slytherins sat there looking completely dumbfounded.

I looked over to Black, expecting him to be glowering more then ever. Instead he hopped up from the stool energetically and was walking toward us looking like he had won the lotto with a look of surprise and a huge grin on his face.

He sat down across from me, next to James. James was staring at him open mouthed. Sirius even had the audacity to reach over and close it for him.

"Told you I wasn't like them." He said happily. The smile really did suit him, he was quite handsome.

The other few after him were sorted quickly, Mark Chang and Emmiline Vance into Ravenclaw, Benjamin Abbott, Gilderoy Lockhart and Ludo Bagman into Hufflepuff, Rabastan Lestrange and Rita Skeeter into Slytherin, finishing with Gary Thomas and Maryanne O'Shea into Gryffindor.

When we had settled down, a tall man with long white hair and a beard almost the same length stood up at the center of a long table facing the other four, as there were all adults at this one, I assumed that it was the teacher's table. He had long robes of royal purple with large golden stars all over them, the surprising thing was that the stars moved around and twinkled. He smiled around at us over his horn-rimmed glasses.

"That's Dumbledore." Remus said from beside me. I was shocked to say the least.

I had never expected the headmaster of the school to be so…cool.

So Dumbledore got up, welcomed us all and told us to enjoy our meal. I turned expectantly toward the doors, expecting waiters or something of the like, to bring the food. But rather to my great surprise, it suddenly appeared on the table like magic! Well, it was magic.

I dug in enthusiastically with the others. To my great amusement during the meal I looked across the table to see James and Sirius talking loudly together and laughing. I guess that James' opinion of Sirius dissolved when he joined Gryffindor. I was glad.

Remus seemed to be interested in what they had to say and he was adding in his two cents here and there.

I busied myself by meeting the other new Gryffindors as well as some of the older ones. Gwenog seemed quite energetic about introducing everyone and becoming what she referred to as "one big happy family" so I got to meet Gary Thomas, a very nice black boy who gave me a nod before continuing his conversation with a fourth year named Mike Brown. I was also introduced to Maryanne O'Shea a girl with an intense Irish accent that made it slightly difficult to understand her, so that I was reduced to mostly smiling and nodding when she spoke. And a small mousy boy named Peter Pettigrew, this kid was even more nervous then Alice, who was now chatting happily with Frank Longbottom.

I began to talk with a boy who said he was a sixth year and the Quidditch team captain. I took this opportunity to ask about this Quidditch team thing. It turned out to be a very bad idea. I was treated to what would have been an hour long lecture on every detail of how the game is played except another girl saved me by telling him, "Wood, enough with the Quidditch, let the poor girl eat." Wood, seemed to take this as a clue, and turned to talk to someone else.

I looked around the room, surveying all the new faces and having fun trying to determine people's personalities by simply looking at them. The girl called Rita Skeeter, had bright blonde hair in tight curls that moved in unison with all of her motions, which were rather extravagant as she was sitting at the Slytherin table talking animatedly to Malfoy and his girlfriend and scribbling something in a small pad, as though she was intending to write an article on blonde ass holes.

Over at the Hufflepuff table, the two boys called Lockhart and Diggory had seemed to attract a crowd of girls looking like they ranged from first year to seventh. Diggory was talking brightly but Lockhart was simply grinning broadly at anyone who caught his baby blue eye. I turned to see him flash an especially bright smile at Gwenog who returned the favor, and then ranted to me for about fifteen minutes about how beautiful he was.

Oh yes, it was going to be a very interesting year.

Hi everyone! I hope you liked it! K, first of all I know the hat's song sucked and I can't rhyme to save my life, but cut me some slack it was three in the morning! Anyway there won't be too much more of first year, just wanted to introduce everyone. If you have any opinion whatsoever reviews would be greatly appreciated! I need to know if it sucks! Thanks!


	3. Update

Hi everyone! Thanks for sticking around! We have finally gotten to seventh year, so I hope you all enjoy. The rest of the fic will mostly be in this form, so if you like, keep reading, there will be more interesting stuff soon, I swear!

Chapter 3 – Update

August 16th

**Days till birthday**: 7

**Current survival status**: am still alive

**Cherry update**: virgin…still….argh….

Well, to say the least it WAS an interesting year. Since then an enormously large amount of things have happened that I am WAY to lazy to recount at the present moment. Later perhaps.

I found this diary at the bottom of my trunk when mum made me clean it out. It was hidden under a pair of especially smelly school robes; this is most likely why I hadn't found it sooner.

I abandoned it after the homework assignments began to take over every waking moment of my life. But now, a witch stuck in her small suburban Muggle house for two months, forbidden to use magic legally, I'm more than bored.

One can only stomach so many games of solitaire.

So of course providence let me find this diary again, thank you God! Something to do! I am now less then a week away from my seventeenth birthday, after which I will FINALLY be able to use magic. Thank fucking God.

Six weeks of pure torture, just sitting waiting for _something_ to happen. Not to mention six weeks of enduring my god-awful sister Petunia, and her constant scowl. Its like she prowls around the house waiting for an opportunity to scowl her disapproval at me.

Weird.

So, right now I'm sitting on a pink shmoofy beanbag, next to my pink frilly bed, in my pink girly room. After six weeks, I must say, I'm quite sick of pink. I know it was a very nice sweet sixteen gift, to make over my room and all, but really. This is just a bit…overboard.

I don't deny it's cozy but it reeks of femininity. Not like that's a bad thing, but six weeks without setting eyes on a single male under the age of forty, I'm about ready to burst.

Talk about being sexually frustrated.

Not like that though, I can assure you that I'm a virgin, but I'm no beginner when it comes to relationships. I've probably made out with about every hot guy in the school, Black not excluded.

I highly regret that but give me a break, Gryffindor had just won the Quidditch cup and I was highly inebriated. Frankly the only guy that I've found even mildly attractive and haven't kissed is Potter.

Ah yes, Potter. Last time I wrote I called him James. That's funny. He's been Potter for six years now. Even at eleven he was an arrogant ass. It wasn't quite as bad then as it was when we were 15, but still. I must say that my relationship with Potter is only one of contempt.

Sure he might make me laugh here and there but his jokes aren't usually worth the price his scapegoats cough Snape cough have to pay. True I don't especially like Snape either but all the same, he usually doesn't deserve what they do to him.

Oh that too. They, the marauders they call themselves. That is Potter, Black, Remus and Pettigrew. Yes, Pettigrew. I don't get it either. No idea how he got into their little club. He is possibly the biggest loser I have ever seen. I really don't like him. But there's not much I can do about it. Remus always tells me to "give him a chance."

Chance my ass.

I dunno, he just weirds me out. Speaking of which, there are many other things that I must bring us up to date on. First of all, eleven year olds are not nearly as horny as sixteen year olds.

Therefore as you might have guessed by now, people have hooked up. True there are some combinations that I find completely ludicrous but I do the best I can. For instance, Gwenny and, hang on, you don't know about that either! Jesus I'm lazy.

Anyhoo, Gwenog Jones, is now my best friend on the face of the planet. My other two closest friends are Alice and Remus. Now Gwenny has chosen what many girls will claim is the hottest guy in the school. I heartily disagree, which I suppose is a good thing, no competition see?

So yes, dearest Gwenny took up with none other then Gilderoy Lockheart, the smiling playboy. I mean really, the kid has nice teeth, so what? A blonde blue eyed, babbling butthead. Heh, McGonagall would appreciate that comment.

Anyway, so Gwenny and Lockheart, very strange. But she seems happy so there's not a lot I can do about that one. Except grimace of course.

Let's see, who else…well there's the Malfoys. Lucius Malfoy, one of the world's biggest ass holes, got married right after school. It wasn't exactly big news though. The girl hanging on his arm, when I was sorted, that's the poor girl that had to marry the git. Or rather wanted to marry him, I'll never understand it.

Anyway, she was Narcissa Black, Sirius' first cousin. Turns out she was the younger sister of the woman who I had seen take Sirius to Platform 9 ¾; Bellatrix Black. He always did say Narcissa fit shockingly well into the part of the dumb blonde.

So she is now officially Narcissa Malfoy, and the two of them live somewhere in England in a ginormous house with loads of Money, and Malfoy has a nice safe job at the ministry.

The fucker.

Well damn them both. Rumor has it that they're big Voldemort supporters. Ah yes, Voldemort. I know much more about him now then I may have ever wished to know.

But too many people have died for me not to know. Too many disappearances. I now fully appreciate the meaning of Muggle-born. I'm just glad I have friends who don't care if I'm from an ancient wizarding family or not.

Speaking of which, Sirius is no longer a "Black". He ran away from home last year and as far as I know he lives with Potter now. Poor kid, I don't blame him, he seemed to be in an incredibly good mood after he declared to the Gryffindor common room that he had been burned off of the official Black family tree.

This statement of course, was greeted by great rounds of cheers and loads of butterbeer and cakes from the kitchen. Seriously, we party over ANYTHING. Sirius even managed to get drunk. On BUTTERBEER. I must remind you all that this is almost physically impossible. I don't want to even_ think_ about how many bottles he drank, eep.

So Sirius is now part of the Potter clan. He was the second to gain the status of ex-Black after his cousin Andromeda, the last and middle sister in the trio that included Bellatrix and Narcissa, was de-blacked.

She ran off with non other then my old Muggle friend Ted Tonks who she had met when he and Emily had come to greet me after I came home from school my first year. I had introduced her to him and they seemed to click immediately.

I think they had written to each other all that year and seen each other when they could. I guess she liked the whole forbidden romance idea because I got a letter in my second year from Ted stating that he and Andromeda had eloped. Now before any of you freak out, I'd like to let you all know that he was a couple years older then me.

I got another letter a couple weeks ago, telling me that they had just had a daughter named Nymphadora. Strange name but cute. I went to visit them last week. She is adorable. Granted, I've never seen an infant with chartreuse hair, but still, it was rather neat that it could change color.

I rather liked the aquamarine myself but the baby seemed to dwell more on powder pink. Strange, eh whatever. I'm just proud of Andromeda for not being a biased bitch like the rest of her family.

Ah yes and to cap it all off, Maryanne, whose Irish accent has improved only slightly over the past six years, has been jabbering for months about being in love with either a Muggle or a Mushroom. I'm not quite sure which, but unless she's shockingly kinky, then I'm to assume that it's a Muggle.

His name is something or other Finnigan. I'm sure they'll have wonderful Irish, thick accented children. That's it for hookups.

As for other marriages, there have been many. People have this odd habit of getting married right after school. But hey, with a murderous dark lord running amuck ready to kill anyone he can lay his hands on, I don't blame them.

Some of them come back, which is always nice. Jonathan Wood the old Quidditch captain came back last year, he wanted to show the team his new son Oliver. Really cute baby, we were really proud of him. He was convinced Oliver would be a great Quidditch player when he grows up. I don't doubt it, with a Quidditch obsessed father like that, how could he let him down?

Now there's really only one person who doesn't have someone to love forever more.

Who? You might ask.

Poor lonely old me.

I mean its not like there are no options, goodness knows half the boys in the school would date me, but its going to be seventh year, and now I've realized, I _want_ to be one of those girls who gets married fresh out of school.

I want to know that I've been able to love someone, completely, even I'm to die the next day.

I don't want to just play around for the fun of it. I need to find him. The one guy for me. I know he's out there somewhere, of course in the meantime I won't mind making out with a hot guy here or there, and if he's REALLY hot perhaps a shag… but in the end the goal is to find someone who I'd be happy to marry.

But I can wait if it means waiting for Mr. Right. The sad thing about me is I'm a hopeless romantic. I just have this feeling that I'll meet a guy one day and realize, he's the one. And we'll live happily ever after. It's a stupid idea I know, but I still can't quite squelch the notion that there is a guy out there who I am destined to fall in love with.

With luck he's at Hogwarts. It would certainly make my life a lot easier. Who knows? It could be anyone really.

Some of the guys have made some very impressive improvements over the summer. Perhaps he was some scrawny pimply looser last year and this year he'll be tall, dark, handsome and muscular, but not too muscled. God knows I couldn't date a hulking guy who squash me as soon as kiss me. But he'll be perfect, I just never noticed him before…

Who am I kidding?

Sure some of the guys will be hotter then ever, but they'll be the ones who were relatively hot in the first place. Guys just aren't lucky enough to change that drastically. _I'm_ not lucky enough for them to change that drastically.

Damn.

I'll just have to choose from what is there. Unfortunately for me, the hottest guy in the school, in my opinion is the last one that I'd _ever_ want to marry. Ick, we'd bite each other's heads off before we could even shag.

Yes, I could never fall in love with Potter. He's still the stuck up, self absorbed ass from fifth year. Odds are that two months at large in the wizarding world and his shag count is probably up by about fifty. Not to mention the number of members in his fan club are probably up a thousand.

Damn I hate that kid.

He's popular, smart, handsome and knows it. And of course uses all three to his advantage. Sometimes I simply can't stand his cheek. Not to mention the 768 times he asked me out. And I'm not exaggerating, that is the exact number up to date, I have a tally in the back of this diary.

Lame I know but one day I'll be able to rub that exact number in his bloody face. Hmph. Ook! Owl. A letter! Pour moi! How fantabulous! Oh yeah! Someone realized that I must be extremely BORED holed up in the suburbs for six bloody fucking weeks.

And it's a letter from…Hogwarts.

Damn.

Even my best friend forgets me. I get one letter from her and half of it is about Lockheart's equipment. Come ON. That's just cruel, its bad enough that I have to survive two months away from not only wizards but boys as well, now you have to rub it in my face by reminding me about your fabulous sex life, and then include details that I would have perfectly happy to go to the grave not knowing. Not cool!

So yes, Hogwarts letter, containing the usual shit, list of supplies, new passwords for the prefects, new prefect badge…hang on. We don't get new prefect badges…OH MY GOD! I'M HEAD GIRL! Happy dance YES!

I had completely forgotten. I am thrilled to say the least. Life is perfect! Ha! Now I can _really_ boss Potter around. Hmm…I wonder who my head boy is going to be. He better be cute, I'll be seeing a lot of him this year.

Oh, I hope its Remus! Yeah I bet it is. He's smart, talented, "diseased" Heh, furry little problem my ass.

Oh yeah.

Forgot to fill us in on that to. Remus is a werewolf.

I told you that my goal for the year was to get the kid to spill his little secret. Well finally after a lot of pestering and asking skillfully awkward questions about where he disappeared to every month and why he always looked so sick afterwards, he told me at the end of first year.

I was the only one who knew. I think he told Potter, Black and Pettigrew at the beginning of second. That's when they began the whole marauder/animagus project. Yeah, they can turn into animals.

Yet again I believe I may the only one who knows this save Dumbledore because he knows everything. EVERYTHING! He really does too. Sometimes it's just a tad bit scary. I've always wondered if he could tell me what kind of underwear I had on, but I haven't gotten enough courage to ask yet.

Anyway, so I found out about the whole animagus thing in fifth year when I walked head long into what seemed like nothing after finishing prefect patrols. Turns out I had literally run into Potter, Black and Pettigrew under and invisibility cloak, heading out to go hang out with Remus.

So of course the cloak comes off at the impact. I mean it makes sense, how all three of them fit under there considering Potter and Black's height and Pettigrew's girth, it seemed quite a feat.

So the cloak comes off and Potter tries to talk them out of it, but rather then springing on the opportunity to get them more detention I was utterly intrigued by the cloak. Something I had not yet come across in my studies. I was fascinated and delighted to say the least.

Then when their guard was down I popped the question.

"What are you doing?"

I promised not to give them any penalties or put them in detention if they simply told me what they were up to. I was too curious to be very harsh with them. I had a feeling that whatever it was it had to do with Remus.

"Let me guess, you're going to help Remus with his furry little problem?" Potter stared at me.

"Well, not exactly, we were heading toward the kitchens…"

"I know that he's a werewolf Potter so don't bother lying." All three jaws dropped.

It was rather funny actually. This was followed by a lot of confused muttering from Black a few whimpers from Pettigrew and more open-mouthed staring from Potter. Quite amusing on the whole.

"But its really quite dangerous, you can't go see him! He could bite you." I said trying to be serious without breaking into laughter at their faces.

"Thanks for the concern Evans, but his _real_ friends have found a way to pass the long hours _with_ him." Sirius said with a sly grin.

"Real friends? He told me his little secret at the end of first year!"

Sirius looked indignant. "Hey he told us at the beginning of second. Not fair!"

I smirked. "Some real friends."

Sirius smirked back. "Well as far as I know, _you_ are not as good a friend as we are."

I looked skeptical. "And why is that?"

"Because you didn't spend three years becoming an animagus." Potter said with triumph.

I stared. "You didn't… But how? …That's really difficult magic...Show me." This all came out in a series of shocked stutters.

"Shall we demonstrate for Miss Evans?" Potter asked the other two, sounding as though he was having the time of his life.

"Of course." Black answered, then winked at Pettigrew. I stood staring at them.

"By the way Evans." Potter began turning my attention to him. "Will you go out with me?"

I was about to answer "no" when a large rat ran over my foot, completely freaking me out. So like the average helpless female, I shrieked. Quite embarrassing actually, then to top it all off a few seconds later I heard a soft "boo." And someone pinched my sides. I shrieked again.

Damned boys.

Pettigrew came out from behind me. I suddenly realized that he wasn't still standing next to Black.

Then it clicked.

"A rat? Eew."

"Couldn't do anything bigger…" he mumbled, embarrassed. He clearly thought I'd be impressed.

Far from it.

That was disgusting. "Are you all…rodents?" I asked fearing the worst. I couldn't stand the idea of Potter the guinea pig running around at night. He laughed.

"Of course not. Peter is just pathetic at magic is all. Would my lady wish to see the masters at work?"

Curiosity getting the better of me, I indulged him. "Of course."

He grinned. "Sirius you first."

Sirius promptly turned into a large shaggy black dog. Kinda cute and cuddly in a weird hormonal fifteen year old boy way. I was unable to resist the urge to pet him. So I did, and he wagged his tail approvingly. Potter scowled.

"He's much more lovable as a dog." I commented lightly.

At this he changed back into a human with the comment, "I resent that!"

I grinned. "Your turn Potter."

He simply smiled back, and then changed into a large white stag.

I gasped.

He was beautiful. And believe me it takes a lot to admit that Potter was "beautiful" in any form, but the truth is, he was. I reached out to stroke him, in complete awe of the strong agile body and his glistening antlers. He nuzzled me with his nose. Yet again I do the girly thing and giggle in delight. Of course sending the completely wrong message.

Ah well.

So after that I let them go down to hang out with Remus in their animal forms. Its quite amazing, their devotion to each other. They would never, ever betray one another to anyone, even to me. That's probably why Remus being a prefect had little change over their actions and amount of detentions. Perhaps he'll do better controlling them as head boy. But I doubt it.

All three, well maybe just Black and Potter, went up a couple hundred points in my book that night. I don't think I was ever as bossy about their schoolwork to them after that. I knew that they had it in them; it was their own damned fault for not using their brains.

But of course it just goes to show you. Boys can be real idiots sometimes.

I'm going to go jump up and down uncontrollably about my new badge, then use it to badger Petunia. Bwaha!

Later.

_-Lily_

So, here is the first installment of the seventh year stuff. How did we like it? Please let me know what you think! Then I can improve on what you think didn't work. So reviews would certainly be appreciated. I tend to wait for at least ten before posting the next chapter. If you leave a review, it'll only take a few seconds I swear. A simple "nice job" or "its sucks" will do! I NEED feedback. Okay sorry, I'll stop harassing everyone about reviews. Thanks for reading! I'll see you all next time.


	4. The Pain of Boredom

Hey everyone! Sorry it took me so long to update! I've been working on this fic a lot and the next chapter is already half written, it'll be incredibly long. I was originally going to have it in this chapter but it was going to be super long so I've split it into two, so you can expect the next chapter very soon, probably next weekend. So without further ado, enjoy!

Chapter 4 – The Pain of Boredom

August 18th

**Days till birthday**: 5

**Current survival status**: breathing

**Cherry update**: nothing new here…

I cannot believe it.

I forgot.

Completely forgot.

Had I remembered I may have been able to weasel my way out of it, but no. I forgot. So of course they catch me completely by surprise and I get stuck. Its mum's fault I swear.

She wanted me there, no idea why, cause all I was going to do was make the entire thing more unpleasant and awkward by asking really obnoxious questions that I _know_ will grate on Petunia's nerves, then commence a glaring contest with her. We both end up seeing who can be more loathsome on the whole. This is how dinner parties usually go.

But this one was different.

I must say I cherished it simply as the ultimate opportunity to further aggravate, annoy and embarrass my sister.

She had her _boyfriend_ over.

She has one.

This is shocking in it of itself, but to make it ten times worse is the fact that I don't have one. And of course to cap it all off, they're getting _married._

What the fuck?

Am I so loathsome that I cannot find a single hot, loving, kind, hot, sweet, hot, considerate, sexy, hot, caring, hot, male to take care of me?

I guess not.

Because there I was staring at my sister with a hulking, disgusting Muggle of all Muggles. While my mother is crying her eyes out and my father is talking to him about his new business in screws or drills or something.

Mind you I found this fact hilarious and it was all I could do to stop myself spewing wine all over Petunia's new white dress when he said it.

Come on; does no one else find this funny?

Maybe that's why I can't get a guy, I'm too immature. Damn. Well, whatever.

The point is, there I am choking on my meatloaf, while this guy, Vernon Dursley, (what a horrible name I might add) announces that he has asked Petunia to marry him and that he has a house for them to move into, a safe, steady job and a wedding date all ready. My parents just needed to consent.

Ha.

I was utterly shocked when they said yes.

Why she would marry that…pig, is beyond me. Of course why he would marry _her_ is even farther from my understanding. The great thing about this is she won't live here anymore.

And they planned the wedding specifically during a time where I would have to miss it due to school.

YES!

It's the nicest thing Petunia has done for me in ages, not let me come to her wedding.

It's a good thing too cause I probably would've barfed all over the best man halfway through, simply out of disgust at the union of those two.

God forbid they have _children_.

Their child would be spawn of the devil, a horror to behold. And worse, I'd be its _aunt_. Oh lord. I'm going to be auntie lily to the first successful scientific fusion of a pig and a toad.

God, strike me down now. I don't think I could stand that.

Of course with luck, I'll never see the thing so all will be well and good.

So, dinner party. It was possibly one of the longest most torturous nights of my life. This Dursley kid talked so much that I could hardly sneak in my usual crude or unacceptable comment that makes anyone my generation OTHER then Petunia crack up.

I remember I used to drag my old friend Emily to those dinner parties, one well placed pun and she'd be gone.

Now I'm sitting there with nothing to titter about except constant talk of screws. I am dying, yet I suppose that it was a good thing no one else was there, because if so I don't think I would have been able to contain my laughter.

I actually had to excuse myself a couple of times so that I could duck into the kitchen and laugh my ass off.

Petunia caught me the third time and gave a fifteen-minute rant about how respectable the business of screws is.

Now throughout this I am making no effort whatsoever to stop laughing so of course it further pisses her off. She finished her screw monologue and of course I say something extremely rude about "screwing" and she screeched in frustration.

So now the second night in a row that "dearest Vernon" is over I am confined to my room with the remains of a TV dinner and half a pot of coffee from this morning.

Yuck.

The worst thing is I'm so desperate I'm actually considering drinking it.

Life sucks.

That is really and truly about it for now.

Later.

-_Lily _

August 19th

**Days till Birthday: **4

**Current Survival Status:** boys…need…boys!

**Cherry Update: **what do you think?

SOOOOO deprived! I don't think I've ever actually _wanted_ to do homework but right now I would give anything for the opportunity to do a two-foot potions essay. Good god I've gone mad. I'd rather be sitting listening to Binns drone on then be here…with NO magic and NO boys and NO life! Help me!

Please?

Someone?

Anyone?

No.

God hates me.

And so I continue to rot in peace.

-_Lily_

August 20th

**Days till Birthday: **3

**Current Survival Status:** dying breed

**Cherry Update: **who cares?

I've been reading. With nothing else to do, what do you think I would do? Anyway it's a lot less harsh on the eyes then the television.

But the stuff I'm reading…even _that_ is boring.

My parents have nothing on their shelves but the "classics" which of course are all really long and thick an only a good read if you truly want to try plowing through them.

Needless to say I'm having severe difficulties reading _Moby Dick_. I mean really, who gives a flying shit about an evil bloodthirsty whale? Actually put that way its sounds ten times more interesting…Really the only thing that I've found that I really like is Shakespeare.

Possibly one of the most brilliant Muggles to ever walk this earth. I wonder sometimes if he wasn't possibly a wizard.

Anyway, I've fallen in love with his writing. It's so beautiful! I just finished Hamlet. He is so not crazy! Bloody critics.

Alright, must finish _Moby Dick_, then on to Tolstoy. Ugh.

-_Lily_

August 21st

**Days till Birthday: **2

**Current Survival Status:** I think I'll start digging my grave now…

**Cherry Update: **I'll die an old maid!

The dog days of summer. To sum up my life in a single phrase.

BOOOOOOORRRRIIIIINNNGGG!

Boring.

In a single word and/or exclamation of agony.

I will thank God if I live to see my birthday. The only thing that I can say is beneficial about this summer is I'll come back to school with one hell of a body!

I've been so bored that I've resorted to exercising. How lame is that?

Very.

The point is at least if and when I ever do get a boyfriend he'll have something to boast about.

So ha! In your face Petunia, you and your happily ever after almost married face!

Argh! I need men! Hmph.

Perhaps I should sun tanning on the front lawn…that'll give old Dursley a bit of a shock.

Bwaha.

-_Lily_

August 22nd

**Days till Birthday: **1

**Current Survival Status:** deceased

**Cherry Update: **Would you want to shag a cadaver? Neither would I.

One…more…day.

I am sooooo close to spontaneously combusting.

The ONLY thing holding me back is seeing the look on Petunia's face when I do.

So I am managing to retain my mind by…

Reading my textbooks.

What? I NEED _some_ connection to the wizarding world! Keeping up the mantra: One…more…day…one…more…day…one…more…day…

-_Lily_

August 23rd

**Days till Birthday**: NONE!

**Current Survival status: **BIRTHDAY GIRL!

**Cherry Update:** nix

YES! I can _finally_ do magic! The wizarding world considers me "of age" how cool is that?

Very.

OOOOOH! Birthday present to self…I went downstairs and scared the crap out of Dursley.

He stayed over last night, major eew. I could hear them shagging through the wall, I had to plug my ears to keep myself from barfing. I mean really, that is disgusting! Five bloody feet away from something more horrendous then Slughorn in spandex. Gross.

So anyway, I went downstairs for "breakfast" a.k.a. breakfast food at 1pm.

So we're sitting there chomping on pancakes and waffles and the like, and I want some butter. Now the best part about this is I haven't told Petunia about the whole turning 17 now I can use magic thing. She only knows that I can't do it at home.

Ha, ha ha ha. Life is good.

So I decide to…er…summon, the butter.

So I pointed my wand under the table at the butter and said "_Accio Butter_" in my head.

Luckily my non-verbal abilities were still functioning so sure enough the butter comes soaring into my outstretched hand. Now no one notices this but Dursley who looks utterly perplexed.

_Yes!_

He assumes that it's just his imagination, but twenty minutes later, no one can deny that the syrup is emptying itself over my pancakes all by itself.

Petunia looked like she was about ready to throttle me. After a couple minutes she shrieks, "STOP IT!"

"Excuse me?" I asked politely.

"That…that…funny business!"

"I have no idea what you are talking about." I replied politely as the orange juice container refilled my glass.

"Not in front of HIM!" she was rather hysterical by now. "YOU ARE NOT RUINING MY MARRIAGE WITH YOUR _STRANGE _WAYS FROM YOUR FREAK SCHOOL!"

Now that ticked me off. "Freak school?" I asked now brandishing my wand openly. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"YOU GET THAT THING AWAY FROM US! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED! THEY'LL KICK YOU OUT! HA!" she had a maniacal glint of triumph in her eyes.

I grinned.

"Ah you see my _dearest_ Petunia, that is where you are wrong. I am 'of age' therefore I can do whatever the hell I want. Well, that is short of killing you. Or roasting up a nice pig for dinner." I said igniting the tip of my wand and indicating Dursley.

Petunia screamed, "YOU WOULDN'T DARE!" I grinned again.

With a flick of my wand the poor devil was hovering a good three feet off the ground.

Shocking really that he got so high considering his obvious weight. I was quite impressed actually.

I then decided to turn his eyebrows pink, just for kicks.

Petunia looked close to fainting, but she resorted to shrieking again and tried to pull him down. Meanwhile the kid has got _no clue_ what is going on but he is severely freaked out enough to be shouting with fear and rage as his fiancé attempted to pull him down, whilst his big fat face was turning a revolting shade of puce.

I finally let him down after Dad came and yelled at me for using my powers on an "unsuspecting innocent Muggle" the git deserved it of course.

The great thing about Dad is that he knew it too.

I think he lectured me just to quiet Petunia. He told me later that it wasn't especially nice, but it was certainly a way to let him know I was a witch with style.

I wouldn't doubt that I have now permanently biased him against the wizarding community. Really not a problem though. I think I actually just did us all a huge favor.

So life is good.

Petunia is upset, her "fiancée" is no longer shagging her five feet away from me, I'm going into Diagon Ally tomorrow to get my supplies and I CAN DO MAGIC!

Ah… I have waited sooooo long. K, going to go practice! Later.

-_Lily_

Hey! I hope you guys liked it! I know that most of it is really dull but the next chapter is really fun so hold tight it'll be up really soon! So if you liked, I'd love reviews, if you didn't like I'd like reviews as well, but I can't promise that I'll be happy with them. Someone left me a review that said: You want the blunt truth? Ok, it was really boring. How mean was that? It made me sad. But I do appreciate the blunt truth; it makes me want to write better. Although I might add that I went to that user's page and their stuff was _terrible_. No joke. This is a direct quote, Voldemort: You mess with the best you die like the rest. I was like, and they thought my fic was bad? Okay sorry, I'll stop bashing people who bash me. For those of you who are reading now you must like it somewhat, considering you stuck around for 4 chapters, I'm looking for sympathy from people who like me enough to give it to me. :0) I love you guys! Ok, rambling. See you next week!


	5. September 1st

Hey guys! Sorry it took so long for me to update! Vacation got in the way. But this chappie is REALLY long, so I think it sorta makes up for the long wait. Okay, without further ado, chapter five…

Note: For any of you Snape lovers out there I am warning you, there is mild Snape bashing, mostly on the subject of hygiene. Don't say you weren't warned!

September 1st

**Current guess as to who is head boy:** Remus. Come on, its gotta be… I suppose it could be Diggory…maybe Chang? Thomas…he's not too bad looking…

**Possible Boyfriend/shag/love of my life: **Probably the head boy. Well at least the shag. Don't know about love of life…I couldn't shag Remus though, that's just short of incest. But perhaps Diggory…he's HOT. Hmm…

**Guesstimate of how many times Potter will ask me out:** let's see, if he were to ask me at every meal plus in the evening and at break then that's an average of five a day. Then if he were to do that approximately five or so times a week times about 35 weeks then he would set a new record of around 875. Yeah that sounds about right.

**Cherry Update:** So…close…

So school is officially starting today and of course I am incredibly thrilled.

So we drive to King's Cross station, luckily Petunia-free. And we arrive a bit early so that I can be insanely cliché and gossip excitedly with my friends who I haven't seen all summer.

I said goodbye to mum and dad on the platform and realized with a small pang that it would be my last time doing it.

Tear tear.

So once they had left I embarked on a mission to find Gwen. I spotted her dazzling blond hair bobbing a good head or so above the multitude of first and second years saying goodbye to their parents.

When I squeezed my way through a pack of particularly annoying fifth year girls, I finally reached my best friend.

And of course, there was another blond head attached firmly to hers by the lips.

Lockheart. Ugh.

So after about five minutes of poking and prodding and being unsuccessful, shouting and yelling, failing again and then finally wrenching them apart, I got my best friend to register my presence.

She smiled energetically and pulled me into a bone-breaking hug.

Ouch.

So once I regained the amount air in my lungs that normal people usually require for survival we began chatting away. What we both flipped out and fussed over energetically was my new head girl status.

So we lugged our trunks onto the train while continuing to guess as to who the head boy would be. By the time we had gotten our trunks on and stored all our stuff safely in one of the empty compartments, we had agreed that it was undoubtedly Remus.

After a couple minutes I left her to go head up to the prefect's car and so that she could continue her snog session with Lockheart.

So I get to the head's compartment where the heads hold their meeting with the prefects. To my surprise it was empty but for Potter.

Wonderful.

Such a _perfect_ way to start off the year. A liberal dose of Potter's cheek and self-absorbed antics.

Damn it.

So I went in with only the elation of the chance to tell him off to fuel me through an encounter with him.

Now we must remember that I have not been around hot, available teenage boys for two months. I thought that the concept of returning to a building full of them would lower lust levels.

I was mistaken.

Potter has changed liberally over the summer. Though it pains me to say it, he's _gorgeous_. He'll have half the girls in the school trailing after him within a day and a half.

I walked into the room, he seemed not to notice. He had his nose in a book and he was alone. That's new…wait a minute, is that…Shakespeare? Holy shit the boy is actually cultured. I never would have guessed. Wow. How strange.

It seems that summer did wonders to Mr. Potter.

For one thing he's taller, and he must have been flying a lot because he had new muscles that I didn't even think were possible of him, he also was sporting a really nice tan…what the hell am I thinking? Who cares if he's hot? I am not about to give in and go out with him. He can be the most beautiful thing I've ever seen but I'm no slut, he is an asshole and always will be.

Now I must not be distracted, it was time to boot Potter out of the _head's_ compartment.

"Potter. What are you doing here?" I asked. He jumped, obviously thinking he had been alone.

"Reading. What does it look like Evans?" He said simply and cracking his signature grin, and stowing _Romeo and Juliet _in his bag.

Point proven. Bloody cheek.

"Well then take your newly acquired intellectual pastime somewhere that you are _allowed_ to be." I said icily.

He grinned again.

"Yeah? And who says I'm not allowed to be here?" he asked, a challenge in his voice.

"The rules! Only Heads and prefects are allowed in this compartment. Now it is the first day and we are not even at school yet, let's get off to a good start and _not_ fight. Be a dear and leave. And if you would be so kind I would love to know where Remus is."

Potter continued to grin, but it turned into a quizzical look at the mention of Remus.

"What do you want Remus for?" I sighed. Boys are so dumb.

"Because I need to talk to him about what we are going to say to the new prefects and find out whether or not Dumbledore gave him any information that I did not receive, such as the house passwords." Now our resident werewolf managed to have perfect timing because he appeared at my elbow not two seconds after the words were out of my mouth.

"Hi Lily!" he said brightly giving me a hug and stepping inside the compartment.

"Prongs." He said with a smile to Potter, who jumped up with an energetic, "Well if it isn't Moony!" and gave him a big hug.

I smirked at the mention of their nicknames. I am probably one of the only people in the school who has any idea of what they mean.

"There you are." I said happily to my co-head. "We should discuss what we'll need to say to the new prefects and did you get any new info from Dumble-"

"Lily what the hell are you talking about?" Remus asked.

"Our head duties Remus, don't tell me you forgot?" I was panic stricken at his lack of concern. He smiled.

"Lily, I'm not head boy." He said this very slowly and carefully as though speaking to a five-year-old.

I gaped at him.

"WHAT? But…but…It can't be! It had to be you! It WAS you! But then…who?" I asked weakly, very much afraid he would say something dreadful like Pettigrew or Snape…eew. That kid's hair is SOOOOOOO greasy. I mean how could I share living quarters with someone who obviously has little interest in personal hygiene?

So I waited with baited breath for the name. But it was Potter who answered for him.

"Me."

_WORSE!_ I gaped athim. Again. This was _not_ happening.

"No fucking way…"

"Yes fucking way." He said very pleased with the situation.

He showed me his badge to prove it and pinned it on the front of his shirt. It was one of those button down shirts that really hot guys look _delicious_ in, and of course the top two buttons were undone…okay sorry getting off topic. I've really got to stop doing this.

So he pins the thing on his shirt and I continued to stare open-mouthed. Someone reached over and closed it for me.

I looked at the intruder to find that Black had joined our little party.

Great, the whole gang was here. Well, Pettigrew wasn't but I didn't especially want him to show up, so I'd rather just pretend he doesn't exist.

Black grinned winningly at me and went over to Potter with a genial, "Prongs baby! Long time no see." They did some sort of wonky secret handshake that only really cool guys can pull off without looking stupid.

"Yeah, an entire twenty minutes of separation, the horrors!" Potter said in mock-misery. Black grinned again and turned toward me.

"Like our new head boy?"

I scowled.

I was still aghast and at a loss for words. This. Was. Not. Happening. Just my fucking luck, to end up with the ultimate prick of the universe. Not cool.

"So…we won't be…" I stuttered wanting to be told it was all a joke and he had stolen Remus' badge.

"Spending most of our time together, yeah."

"But we won't be…"

"Sharing a dorm, hell yeah. Do you tend to walk around in your underwear? Because I sure as hell do." Potter grinned.

"Sometimes not even that." Remus commented trying desperately not to laugh at my predicament.

I was debating between the temptation to slap the git for his comment and the fact that I sorta wanted to see him in his underwear, or 'not even that' as Remus had put it.

No. I cannot give in to his obvious charm. I must stay strong, and vigilant. I'm a Gryffindor, pride wins out. I'd rather be sexually frustrated and keep my honor, then have the time of my life and give in. I think…ugh. NO! I WILL NOT FALL FOR JAMES POTTER! The end. Basta. No more men!

Well, perhaps just _other_ men.

Okay, romance goal for the month is now officially Diggory. Ha. See what Potter thinks of that!

Okay so anyway, we're in the compartment and I am starting to feel kinda light headed after this shock.

"I wonder if you guys get separate bedrooms?" Black mused.

"Twould really be a shame if we did." Potter said winking at me.

I glowered. Must keep the cold front steady.

So we finally booted Black out of the compartment to run off causing mischief and to possibly track down Pettigrew.

Potter and Remus left the compartment while I quickly changed into my robes, then I in turn was kicked out and had to stand guard for the 2 ½ minutes that it took them to change.

The train began to move as I was standing there, and I felt a sudden giddiness and feeling of elation.

I was going _back._

It would be for the last time, but what a time. I was determined to make this last year memorable and I was filled with excitement at the prospects of all I could do in the year to come.

I still had a smile plastered on my face when Potter opened the door, making me topple backwards into his arms.

"And what is making miss Evans so happy?" he asked grinning down at me.

"We're going back." I said unable to quite convey how much that really meant to me.

He smiled warmly, one I had rarely seen him wear. It was different from his cocky grin, or his naughty one. This was just a smile, for those few special times when he was simply happy. I practically melted. He looked so good. And so sweet.

"Back home." He said softly. I smiled back.

"Yes, back home." He was right. It was home. More so than mine had ever been, I realized suddenly. It was the place where I belonged, where I had always known who I was and where I felt that I had a purpose in life, a reason to be. It suddenly occurred to me how much I was really going to miss it once we left.

But that's not till the end of the year so I won't worry about it now. I straightened up and Potter began to talk seriously about what we would discuss with the prefects, things we would have to say to the new ones and that he did indeed have the new passwords and did I have the schedule for the patrols?

It was strange. Talking to him normally.

Or rather talking to him about something other then ourselves and our "obvious" attraction. It was a nice change for sure.

I was starting to think that I could actually deal with him for a year and that my fate may not be _that_ bad after all, when we were disturbed by the familiar smell of grease and B.O.

Eew. Does that kid EVER shower?

Anyway. So it had appeared that the Slytherins had arrived with Snape at the head and the new prefects in tow.

I had forgotten that we'd have to deal with him. Another thing that I had forgotten was the fact that I'd have to stop half a dozen fights from ensuing nightly now, because Potter had not been a prefect before, ergo there had been no argument…this was different however.

For a brief moment I fantasized about how hilarious it would be if my mean streak came out and I paired them together for prefect duties. Heh.

But after one look at the way they were glaring daggers at each other I decided that there was no way I could do this and still find two living teenage males at the end of the night. They'd kill each other in a heartbeat if they had the chance.

Boys.

So anyway they stared at each other for another couple of seconds before Potter mutters, "I forgot that we'd have to be dealing with him."

I sighed. My thoughts exactly.

"Of course, you were too preoccupied with me, weren't you?" he grinned and gave me a wink, then turned back to Snape.

"What are you staring at Snivellus?" 

Snape glared.

"A student who is currently occupying the one car on the train in which his presence is not permitted. Potter it amazes me sometimes how much your ego grows too big for your head. Not all of us worship you, you see. Now get out. Ten points from Gryffindor." He spat, a really creepy grin on his face.

Potter on the other hand, who I had thought would be fuming, simply stood non-chalantly staring back at Snape, what looked like a sort of pained, lazy smile on his face that I could tell was the result of him trying desperately not to crack up.

"Alright then Snivellus, 50 points from Slytherin."

Snape grinned. "Don't be stupid Potter, only prefects and teachers can take points, not self-absorbed narcissistic pricks!"

I had to agree with him on that one.

"Ah, then its good that I'm not a self-absorbed narcissistic prick. Another ten points for cheek." Snape glared, after the round of laughter that followed Potter's last comment. Apparently the Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw prefects had also arrived.

"Get out Potter." Snape said softly.

His voice was icy and his glare, frigid. He brandished his wand and indicated the door. I was scared of him in that moment. Most people express their power through shouting and flashy spectacles of anger, but this was far worse. I was suddenly quite afraid. In that moment I expected, along with everyone else in the compartment, that Potter would either quail under Snape's frightful gaze, or hex him, simply out of fear.

But Potter's bravery and nerve prevailed and he simply smiled and answered, "No."

There was a gasp from half the room.

"Potter, be assured that I will use the authority vested in me to remove you from my sight."

Potter looked defeated.

"Ah, well then, I guess I'll leave, but before I go, I'll use the authority vested in me to let you know that your password is "Parseltongue".

Snape stared open-mouthed,

"How did you…"

Potter started as if in surprise.

"Oh! My goodness, did you not see?" he unfolded his arms from his chest.

There blaring out in red and gold was the Gryffindor lion wrapped around a large H, the head boy badge. Snape ogled at it in stunned silence.

He seemed to go red with anger, a shade to match the color of the badge he was staring at. Apparently this was a double-blow. First of all, he was wrong, and had no way of reprimanding Potter, secondly from the jealous look on his face, it seemed that he had assumed that _he_ was going to be head boy.

Perhaps he was still convincing himself that it had been lost in the mail and the sight of it on someone else's chest, on Potter especially must have been quite maddening. Finding no way to respond to this he was reduced to fuming in silence as Potter grinned self-importantly and began to usher the prefects into seats so that we could talk to them.

It seemed that everyone other then Snape thought that Potter as head boy was a fantastic change for the better and that the year would be far more amusing with him in charge.

Last year's head boy and girl had been an absolute bore. Especially the head boy, a pompous boy by the name of William Macmillan who was stricter then McGonagall and harped on us about prefect duties _constantly_.

Even Snape was complaining by the end of it, and he _never_ talks. Except in potions, (he's better than me! Grrrrr!) and when confronting Potter.

Last year I had to do rounds with him a couple times, but he rarely tried to talk to me, he mostly just stared at me. Kinda unnerving actually. And of course every time I did rounds with him I had to take a shower right when I got back. Its not like he touched me with his greasiness or anything its just that being around him and looking at that _hair_ of his, gives one the feeling of being dirty. I highly doubt I was any more unclean doing rounds with anyone else, but still, he just had that aura…

So we'd gotten everyone seated and went off on our shpeil to the new prefects about doing rounds, prefect duties, taking or granting points, etc.

We eventually got around to the house passwords, "Parseltongue" (of course) for Slytherin, "heart to heart" for Hufflepuff (what the fuck?), "Glass half full" for Ravenclaw (bloody intellectuals), and "lion's pride" (yep, that's us) for Gryffindor. These we had to distribute individually on slips of parchment to house members.

Although the head boy and girl were trusted with not abusing this knowledge, the rest of the prefects were not quite as trustworthy. What we _did_ share with everyone was the password to the prefect's bathroom. "Jormungand."

We broke up shortly after this; sending everyone off in twos and threes to patrol the hallways, then return to their friends. I ended up patrolling with Remus and Potter.

Mostly because I wanted to be there to break up a fight should he and Snape meet again. I had a really bad feeling that Snape wanted revenge from Potter's earlier little surprise and bit of showing off.

Also because I liked Remus' company and it was much better actually talking to him then staring at Gwen and Lockheart. Yuck.

So we walked down the halls peering into cabins checking for any signs of magic and chatting easily about this and that.

After about fifteen minutes and nothing very interesting other then having to help a second year change their newly neon green and magenta polka dotted skin back to normal after a rather disastrous spell, we decided to go sit down.

Potter and Remus went off to find Pettigrew and Black and I went on my way to see if I couldn't track down Alice. Well I was about halfway down the train when I found her…in fierce lip lock with Frank Longbottom. Eeeeeewwww! Who would've guessed?

She's a very sweet girl and all, but I was starting to get very worried that she would end up an old maid. Argh! Am I the _only_ one who isn't madly in love? Damn it!

So of course having none of my "girly" friends to sit with I was forced to go back and find my girliest male friend. Remus.

Well I found the famous marauders just a couple cars further down and they were hunched over what looked like a map talking softly. Remus had a piece of parchment out and was scribbling something on it as he took notes from what they were saying.

I assumed that it was the beginning of their plans for mischief throughout the year.

Although I did hope that perhaps Potter being the head boy and all, he might exercise a little more caution about going through with his pranks.

Well anyway I was getting tired of standing up and I was also getting lonely so I opened the door asking, "What are we up to now boys?"

They all jumped having blatantly expected privacy.

"Hey Lily." Remus said, non-chalantly shoving the parchment out of sight.

"And for what do we owe the honor my lady?" Potter said from his other side. Black muttered something under his breath that sounded uncannily like "mischief managed". The map they seemed to have out went blank and he stowed it in his bag.

"My dear friends are…er…busy." I said lamely, blushing.

Potter cocked and eyebrow. "Oh really? And is that busy as in the way that I wish we could be 'busy' right now or simply preoccupied and therefore heartless enough to ditch their beautiful friend?"

I glowered.

This is why I hate this kid. So god damned cocky! (No pun intended)

"As a matter of fact I would have difficulty speaking with either of them as they are currently in lip lock, a sight which I would actually prefer your presence to, than seeing. As shocking as it may sound, it's that gross." Potter put on a pout.

"You know you love me Evans"

I smiled tightly. "You wish."

Remus was looking at me curiously. "Hang on Lils. Does that mean Alice…?"

I nodded slowly. "Yes, it freaked the hell out of me. I really was starting to think that the girl would die a virgin and here she is attached firmly by the lips to none other then bright, colorful, energetic, Frank Longbottom!"

They stared at me.

"WHAT?" was the communal response.

"That's an interesting…couple." Remus managed to choke out.

"You're telling me." I said shaking my head at the image of Frank lying on top of Alice and kissing her passionately as she moaned…eeeeeeeeewwww!

"It's a miracle I didn't pass out right there."

"It really is. I'm so glad, you decided to join us instead, you see, you DO love me." Potter said, his usual self-satisfied smile plastered on his face.

The one that made me want to smack him silly.

So, I did.

"There's a fine line between love and hate." Potter said jovially massaging his now bright red cheek.

Ha, serves him right.

"I don't plan to cross it anytime soon Potter so don't get too excited." He grinned cheekily and patted the seat next to him.

With a pang I realized that is was the only place that I would be able to fit. He was sitting next to Remus, and due to Remus' thin frame there was just enough room for me to squeeze in next to Potter.

Inwardly I prayed that Remus would scoot over and give me room on the other side but he seemed to decide to indulge Potter instead, so I ended up, uncomfortably close to the boy that I would have been perfectly happy to be miles away from.

And yet, he was really comfortable…NO! Must stay firm.

So the train ride proceeded.

We talked and laughed about little things, whatever they had been talking about before I arrived had apparently been put to rest due to my presence. Most of our chatter was reminiscing about past pranks of theirs and all the potential that being a seventh year held.

Potter of course managed to slip in loads of pick up lines, crude jokes and sexual innuendo, mostly all in the form of guessing as to the conditions of our living quarters.

And so it went.

I had a shockingly good time despite all this, but I was resolved not to show it, so I snorted, looked disgusted, let out an exasperated sigh and slapped him at every pass he made.

We arrived at the Hogsmeade station with no other accidents and luckily no incident with Snape, although I am now beginning to prepare for such an instance as it is inevitable, considering the past relationship of those two.

God, they act like ex-lovers who had an especially bad break-up and now would like nothing better then the other's head on a stake.

But I'll worry about that when it happens. So we get to the castle and go into the great hall. There I was finally able to speak to Gwen as Lockheart, (Thank God!) is not a Gryffindor and consequently had to be extracted from his dear Gwenog and go over to his own table.

But he didn't seem to have much objection to the brief separation, as he was all smiles while walking over to his housemates.

Of course he might have been devastated and simply has some sort of crazed personality disorder. Either that or an especially powerful cheering charm went wrong and hit him at a young age. Poor soul. I could care less though.

It was tough enough to get a single word in, as Gwenny began rambling on about their relationship and everything that made him perfect. And she went on for AGES about his bloody SMILE! It annoys me a lot actually. She doesn't seem to realize that I am not infatuated in the least and that someone else's grin was making me very distracted while she talked.

So we finally were all seated at the table to watch the sorting. I was between a very animated Gwen and a much more calm Remus. He in turn, was sitting beside Black, and the two of them were sitting across from Potter and Pettigrew. Across from Gwen and myself were Alice and Frank.

To my great pleasure they had finally ceased and deceased with the kissing but they were holding hands, and _looking_ at each other in that way that let everyone who saw them know that they were in love.

It was cute really, seeing them together, when they weren't kissing and slurping and making a scene.

So the sorting began, the hat was placed on the stool and sang its new song and received the normal raucous applause in response.

I'd write the song over again, but honestly I don't remember much of it as I wasn't exactly paying much attention, since _someone_ had bewitched my fork to quote Romeo and Juliet to me while my knife and spoon proceeded to make a VERY naughty scene on my plate.

None of the teachers seemed to notice however to my great relief and the utensils ceased their "encounter" when the food appeared on our plates. I was very grateful for this as I didn't want to attempt to coax a copulating knife and spoon into a dish of mashed potatoes, really it only could have made it worse.

Of course I took the liberty of spending the rest of dinner glaring at Potter and flicking bits of said mashed potato at him when he wasn't looking.

Needless to say he and Black had found the entire scene immensely hilarious.

After the plates were clean again, Dumbledore requested to see the head boy and girl before we left for our dorms. Unfortunately Potter and I were both liberally doused in flecks of various foods that we had flung at each other during dinner.

I did a quick cleaning spell before I got up to go to the staff table. I couldn't bear the thought of what Dumbledore would think if he saw the head girl covered in mashed potato and pudding on the very first day.

I noted with relief that Potter had rid his person of all offending food objects as well and we proceeded toward the headmaster together. He greeted us warmly and welcomed us back for our last year and congratulated us on our highly esteemed posts of Head boy and girl. Dumbledore finished by giving us the directions to our new dorms and our password.

He instructed us to share our passwords only with those acquaintances that we trusted completely and cautioned us that it would be wisest to change the password at least once a week.

Our dorms were situated on the fifth floor on the side of the castle closest to Gryffindor tower, which we were still allowed to enter of course. Although he hinted that we would have very little reason to be there.

With that strange allusion floating around in my mind, Potter and I headed toward our new dorms, wondering what we were to see.

Potter was surprisingly quiet on our journey, but we reached the portrait of a knight and maiden riding into the sunset, on the left side of the fifth floor corridor, relatively quickly.

Potter gave the password, "Verus Amor" upon our arrival. It seemed quite fitting considering the portrait, but part of me felt that there was some sort of message that was in reference to Potter and myself. Hmph, Bloody cheek. I am in no way attracted to the bastard. So there.

Apparently he thought differently, and gave me a suggestive wink as he said it.

The maiden giggled in delight when she saw him and the portrait swung forward as the knight looked highly indignant.

When we stepped forward into the room that they revealed I gasped.

We had entered a large room that was only slightly smaller then the Gryffindor common room. It had rich mahogany paneled walls with a border of red and gold. I guessed from this that they probably changed the color of the room based on the head's house.

We proceeded into the room examining as we went, a giant fireplace with many huge comfy chairs around it, as well as others surrounding coffee and work tables strategically placed around the room. There were three doors leading out of our common room.

Heh, _our common room_ just for us, so cool.

One of these as we discovered to our great pleasure led to the hugest bathroom that I had ever seen in my entire life. It was bigger and fancier than the prefect's bathroom and that was for the use of about forty people and ours was only for two.

There was one large "bathtub" that was about half the size of an Olympic swimming pool, (well that's an exaggeration, but it was shockingly close to the truth) and a smaller one that was really more of a Jacuzzi.

Then there were the showers. One was all gold, the other silver. The gold had intricate patterns of the sun and the silver sported similar designs of the moon. They each had about a hundred knobs, that we turned of course, each letting out strange and colorful jets of water, sometimes not even that.

Potter was thrilled to discover that it was physically possible to bathe in chocolate. I also presumed that we could have some pretty crazy parties after I discovered one that smelled disturbingly like fire whiskey.

When we had finished out tour of the bathroom, we tried the other two doors, our rooms.

These, unlike the common room were not decorated in our house colors. They seemed to be custom fitted to our tastes.

Mine was white with what looked like live flowers growing up the walls, I could even smell them. They were lavender colored lilies, my favorite.

My bed was large and fluffy and white, the one that I'd always wanted but never gotten. (Instead I had gotten pink. Pink, sparkly and fuzzy…eep) I had a large, classic wardrobe and a bookshelf with an assortment of novels that I found much more engrossing then my parents' "classics".

Potter's room was completely different. It was a bright sky blue with Quidditch players flying around on it, kind of like a four-walled TV. He had a large scarlet and gold bed that matched the Quidditch team colors for Gryffindor.

Loser.

He had a bookcase too although it was full of magazines and Quidditch news mostly, and a bunch of beanbags pilled up in a corner near it. With one look at the room I could tell that within a week I probably wouldn't be able to see the floor.

Boys.

I found that his bed was surprisingly firm. I would have expected that he'd be the kind of guy who slept in a bed that was so squishy that it sunk down two feet the second you touched it.

Then I realized, with a feeling that made me want to throw up, that one would have a lot of difficulty erm…screwing around, in a squishy bed. Oh yuck.

He seemed pretty satisfied though and the innuendo started all over again.

I finally got him to shut up when I threatened to shrink his equipment. It was magic, his reaction to that one.

So we went back to the common room.

"This is so incredibly cool." Potter said abruptly as we plopped down into two vast, red velvet armchairs by the fire.

I was somewhat surprised. I knew that he was quite wealthy, being from a pureblood family and all, and I just figured that he was used to this sort of thing, but apparently he wasn't _this_ spoiled. My respect for his parents soared.

" It totally pays off to be head boy. I wonder if we're allowed to bring our friends in." Potter mused.

"What else are we supposed to do with all this space?" I asked looking around at the huge quarters. It was beautiful, but I supposed that if I were to be stuck there all by myself, I'd feel sorta lonely. I'd gotten used to sharing the common room with all the other Gryffindors.

Besides, Remus was my friend too, and I figured I could tolerate Black and Pettigrew if I was allowed to have Gwen and Alice.

After we had made a few more pointless comments about the new dorm I stated that I really needed sleep, as we _did _have class tomorrow.

He nodded his consent and walked me the ten steps to my room. It was stupid, but a sweet gesture all the same. He kissed my hand.

"Goodnight my lady." He said in mock reverence.

I snorted. "Get yourself to bed Potter, you're getting ideas." He grinned cheekily and I turned and went into my room.

As I was getting changed I suddenly realized that I had just spent an entire day without hexing him.

Wow.

I think our relationship is improving. I mean sure he's still a self-absorbed cheeky blighter but he's a lot more subtle about it this year.

I do believe that 17 and a summer to relax have done wonders for Mr. Potter, but we shall see…now to bed.

-_Lily_

So there it is. Sorry that it took so long to update, but as you can see it is a VERY long chapter. About 6 times as long as a normal chapter of mine. So be happy. It may take a little while for me to post the next chapter cause I'm not quite sure where I'm going to go from here, but as Lily says, we shall see. I'll think of something. For now, reviews would be much appreciated, and may motivate me to write faster:0) By the way, I know this is totally off topic but we saw Taye Diggs! If you don't know who that is, go see Rent now! He plays Benny. Ah! It was SOO COOL! Okay sorry, anyway, thanks for reading and I'll see you next time.


	6. Day1: High stress and impending doom

Chapter 6

Hey all! First off, I'm SOOO sorry that I didn't post this earlier. It was due months ago. However, when I was just finishing the chapter my computer went wonky and deleted only one thing; this. So I rewrote the whole thing, which took a while, and then I changed a lot to make it better. So this chappie took me ages to write. I do hope you all like it. Please, if you have a heart take a minute out of your busy and crowded lives and write a review. It would make me very happy. Thanks!

September 2nd

**Number of Marauder pranks:** 5

**Cherry Update:** what do you think?

**Prospective Boyfriend**: Well Diggory does look quite tasty…

I woke up this morning to the smell of lilies, and sunlight streaming through my windows. It was my dream of a perfect Saturday morning, sleeping in, waking up in a big comfy bed and seeing my room full of light. I was just about to snuggle into my sheets and fall back to sleep when it dawned on me that it was not in fact a Saturday morning, but rather the first day of class. Damn.

It also occurred to me shortly thereafter that I was running late. In an instant I was out of bed, putting my robes on and simultaneously pulling a brush through my hair. I hopped out of my door and down the stairs sliding my shoes on as I went. By the time I reached the common room I was fully composed and ready to go. To my surprise, Potter was sitting in one of the armchairs, his legs slung over the side as though he had been there awhile.

"Rise and shine morning glory, I was wondering when you'd be up."

"And why does it matter to you Potter?" I asked a little heatedly considering that I _was _late and I _was_ the Head girl and it _was_ the first day of classes.

"Well, being the gentleman that I am - " I snorted at this, but he ignored it and continued. "I decided to wait for your ladyship to rise from your slumber and escort you to the breakfast meal."

"Nicely worded, but I think you're loosing your charm." I remarked with a smirk, making my way toward the door.

"Note to self, Evans it quite bitchy when she hasn't gotten enough sleep." Potter said loudly, following me out.

"Now now, no need for insults. I was stating the truth." I said tauntingly.

"As was I " he countered.

Now, either it's just me, or our playful banter has become slightly more flirtatious. Damn.

Anyway, we continued down to breakfast, and the next trauma of my day came over my eggs and toast. I had all the classes that I had requested, but to my utter dismay, Potter's schedule was identical to mine. I don't know whether he happened to request the same classes, they placed us together because we were the heads, or because McGonagall is a maniacal axe murderer out to get me… somehow I rather doubt the latter. The point is, for the first time in seven years I would have a full dose of Potter, daily. In fact I realized that I would be able to remain outside of his presence for a good two hours at most. The only protection that remained to me was the ever-handy girl's staircase, which we discovered similarly to the Gryffindor staircase, turned into a slide when anyone of the male persuasion attempted to climb the stairs.

Potter on the other hand was thrilled. He asked if I'd save him a seat, a request that I staunchly refused. I had the full intention of seating myself as far away from Potter as each room allowed.

So it was that I was escorted to the dungeons for our first class, Potions, by a bawdy and boisterous Potter constantly making jokes about us being practically inseparable. While Remus and Gwen walked along beside us, laughing rather than stopping him. So much for best friends. Bah. I hate men.

When we finally arrived outside of the potions classroom we found a very small collection of other students, needless to say, this being Advanced Potions, very few had made it into the class. Even Black was not to attend. Although this was not because he lacked the intelligence, but rather the will power.

"Look Prongs, I'm rich, I'm handsome, I'm popular, and I hate potions. Give me one reason why taking it will help me in life."

Potter had done his best to convince his friend otherwise, but Black managed to win the argument and was probably now enjoying his free period up in Gryffindor tower. Although with his reputation he was probably enjoying his free period in a broom closet…

So we waited…and waited…and waited as Slughorn took his own sweet time in arriving and opening the bloody door! Honestly, it is not physically possible for a human being to take THAT long to open a god damned door. Anyway, when we were finally inside, I looked around to see who would be sharing my misery for two hours every day for the rest of my life… correction, rest of the year. It turned out to be a small group indeed. Potter and myself, Gwen, Remus, Snape, (oh the greasiness! Does that kid EVER shower???) Emmiline Vance, Mark Chang, Amos Diggory (Yes!), McNair, and Nott.

The classroom was set up normally, two to a desk. We took our seats, in what was a very predictable fashion. Gwen and I grabbed a desk near the front. Potter and Remus sunk into the seats directly behind us. Chang and Vance, the only two Ravenclaws seated themselves together. McNair and Nott took a table in the back and Snape slid into the first desk front and center. Normally he would slink into the back corner in any class, with the exception of potions. He was really good at potions. Unfortunately for Diggory there was no one else to share a table with, so with a slight grimace he sat down next to Snape, edging as far away from him as he could without being rude. Snape didn't notice a thing. He was watching Slughorn intently.

When we had all gotten seated, Slughorn beamed around at us. "First of all, I'd like to congratulate all of you for getting into this class. This will be a difficult and work intensive course for especially advanced potion makers. I suggest that if this doesn't appeal to you, to let me know now." He stared intently around, and after receiving no reply he grinned and continued. "I have decided to test your potion making skills by giving you a project." Snape looked like he was about to jump up and down and dance for joy, he looked so excited.

"I have divided you into pairs. You will work with your partner on a single potion of extreme difficulty. Whoever comes closest, will get full marks in this class." Now Potter was listening. We all were excited, and shuffling began as we started to take out our textbooks. Slughorn stopped us.

"Don't start just yet, we haven't gotten our partners." He said smilingly. A sudden sense of dread went through me. I wasn't with Gwen? The bloody blighter. This was going to be a looong year. Oh no! What if I got Snape? I can't deal with that smell! I'd faint in the middle of class.

"Everyone up! Alright, the pairs are as following." Slughorn began. I began to pray. "Ms.Vance and Mr.Lupin." Remus gave a soft sigh of relief and went to sit down next to Emmiline Vance who looked like she couldn't believe her luck. Remus smiled and began to talk to her. She was simply staring at him, entranced. I found this all quite hilarious, but a little voice in the back of my brain said, _two down…_

"Mr. Chang and Mr. Nott." The two boys eyed each other skeptically, but went to sit at the next desk in silence.

"Ms. Jones and Mr. Diggory." Gwen breathed an audible sigh of relief and I watched jealously as she hopped up and took a seat next to the Hufflepuff. Perhaps she can put in a good word for me… I heard them initiate conversation immediately. Gwen never shuts up, and she's quite the motor mouth when she's nervous, excited, happy, actually, she's just a motor mouth. But she was showing off her skills in speed talking as she began to jabber a mile a minute to Diggory once they were seated.

"Mr. Snape and…" Good lord, I was with Snape, I knew it! NOO! "Mr. McNair." What? Oh thank Merlin, I'm blessed! In my relief it didn't even occur to me who I had ended up with.

"That leaves Ms. Evans and Mr. Potter." _WORSE! _ I stared in horror at Slughorn as Potter sidled over and slid into the seat next to me with unnecessary grace and a smirk.

"Hello Evans, long time no see."

"Shut up Potter."

"You know you love me."

"I won't even bother to respond to that."

"You just did."

"Shut UP."

"Now that's the fiery red-head we all know and love."

"Boys."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"I honestly don't know anymore."

Slughorn cleared his throat and our conversation was cut off, a good thing too because I was getting closer and closer to screaming at him. Honestly, he just pushes my buttons sometimes. And no that was not intended to have any sexual connotations at all.

"Together you will select a potion that you deem to be of the utmost difficulty. I want your ideas by tomorrow. After I have accepted a suggestion you may begin. Some of these may take months to brew and so this may end up being a year long project. Choose wisely. You will submit a sample to me, but you will be permitted to keep the remainder of the potion that you so diligently worked on. The other teachers think that this could be potentially dangerous but I feel that as the oldest students and legal wizards and witches I can trust you all to be responsible with the power that some of the more complex potions have to offer."

Both Potter and Snape looked beyond thrilled. Potter had that glimmer in his eye that meant he was already up to something. I made a mental note to refuse to make a love potion.

Slughorn then dove into a long lecture about safety procedures, tools, ingredients and other relatively mundane topics concerning potions. Needless to say the majority of the class fell asleep. Meanwhile, when I was being the good student/head girl that I am and actually taking notes on the damned lecture so that the rest of the class could copy them later, Potter had found it amusing to bewitch my writing utensils to refuse to write anything excepting a few lewd comments concerning myself and Potter. Marauder prank No.1.

To put it simply I was pissed. Really pissed. Slug club or not, that man could only hold my attention for so long. And with Potter sitting next to me it made it ten times harder. By the time we walked out of the potions classroom two hours later I was about ready to burst. Gwen noticed, thank Merlin and she immediately set about preventing me from my random, nervous breakdown. These tend to occur when I've been around Potter for a longer time than is healthy for me. And in all honesty that's about fifteen minutes.

I'm wondering exactly how they expect me to survive when I'll be seeing him no less than 12 hours a day. And knowing him, probably longer.

Luckily our next class was in the green houses for Herbology and I got a breath of fresh air on our way over. Being outside can really calm me down, I'll tell you. Just being out of a confined space is good, but also the knowledge that I could potentially go sprinting off in any direction should I get _really_ ticked off.

Well we reached the greenhouses with no further incident. But I could tell that I'd be on the edge the whole day. How the bloody hell am I supposed to get used to this? Stupid Blighter.

So we entered Green House 3 and Professor Sprout was there, bouncing around excitedly and saying hello to us as we came in. It was rather funny actually because she attempted to welcome each and every one of us. This meant saying good morning in double quick time if we came in twos or threes. "Good Morning! Good Morning – good morning!" And so on.

When we had filled in around the table in the center of the room she walked to the head of the table and said smilingly, "Welcome Seventh years! I am so thrilled to be working with you all; we are going to have tons of fun. Advanced Herbology has always been my favorite."

She gave us a wink and Potter gave her a wink back. He always has sucked up to teachers, and Professor Sprout was undoubtedly one of the easier ones.

She continued, " We will be working on the most difficult plants we have. Today we'll be starting with these!"

She beckoned behind us and we turned to see about 20 plants. If you could call them that. They looked more like giant Venus flytraps. But unlike the normal notion of the killer plants being bright green with purple spots or whatever they look like in those old horror flicks, they had vast hulking "heads" that were a dull greenish-gray, and long fang-like teeth…everywhere. They were quite still at the moment but, there was a small fence that Professor Sprout had constructed and I thought it was pretty safe to assume that they would have swallowed us whole if they could.

Now, as we were all staring at the creatures in disgust, Professor Sprout was happily handing out buckets, gloves, goggles, and to our horror, first aid kits.

"Alright, we will be working in twos and threes. You may pair up as you wish. Your task is to collect the venom-filled pods that line the roof of their mouths. They pop these when they have a victim. The venom can be extremely useful however in numbing pain, dreamless sleep potions, and healing minor wounds. So be extremely careful not to burst the pods, they are difficult to get and very precious. All right! Hop to it!" She smiled around at us.

Potter's grin had faded. "Er, Professor? Exactly how to you expect us to _get _the pods?" Thank Merlin he was the only one with the balls to ask.

Sprout looked surprised for a moment then she giggled. "My goodness, I'd almost forgotten. So, you see the only way to safely get the pods it to stun the plants. You see their shiny outer shell? Well there are very few spells that can penetrate that, and almost all of them would damage the pods within. So, you must get the plant to open its mouth, and then stun them from the inside.

We stared at her. "How do we get them to open their mouths?" Potter pressed her further.

"Well by offering bait of course!" Professor Sprout said as though it were the most obvious thing in the world.

"Wh-wh-what k-kind of b-bait?" Pettigrew asked staring fearfully at the plants.

"Oh just stick out your arm they should try to bite you." Sprout replied. Pettigrew looked like he was going to faint.

"Alright get started, pair up!"

We moved quickly into our groups. Gwen and I were together as usual; Potter, Remus and Pettigrew were to work together. Black still hadn't shown up.

But, being the marauder that he is, he appeared right on cue, bursting through the door unceremoniously whilst drawing the attention of all eyes in the room. He was out of breath, with hair mussed and he strode into the room, looking extremely pleased with himself.

"Sorry Professor, I was in the library preparing for class, must have lost track of the time."

Sprout smiled appreciatively. "Not a problem at all Mr. Black. Who am I to stand in the way of academic pursuit? You didn't miss anything at all; we were just about to start. Here you can work with Evans and Jones."

Black Walked toward us, giving a wink to Potter as he passed. Potter in return, was practically green with envy and was glaring daggers at him.

"Gwen, my sweet." He said sitting down next to Gwen. "And my darling lily-billy."

"If you EVER call me that again I will hex your balls off."

Black snorted. "You know you love me."

"Do all of you say that?"

"When the occasion calls for it."

"Just shut up and we'll get on with this. Black you're the bait." I snapped.

"The what?"

Before he could respond further I shoved his hand out toward our plant and immediately its ugly head snapped open and it snapped at the air where Blacks hand had been seconds before. He had withdrawn it quite quickly.

"What the HELL was that for Evans, you could have gotten my hand bitten off."

"Its more than you deserve."

"You really are the fiery red head today aren't you? I'll have to warn Jamsie."

"No need he already knows."

Black smirked. "Figures."

I sighed. It was bad enough to handle one marauder, now his equally cocky best friend was on my case as well. And no that had no sexual implications either.

Well we spent the rest of the lesson risking limbs to retrieve the damned pods and their "precious" venom. Honestly, the way the Sprout was going on it sounded as though the safety of blasted plants was more important than our own.

When the bell rang out across the grounds it was an utter relief to all of us. We had definitely had enough of battling a bunch of blood-sucking veggies. So we hurried out of the greenhouses nursing our minor battle wounds, cursing out Sprout and heading in the general direction of the castle.

Next we had charms, which was fun as always.

Flitwick had decided that we might fare better working independently, so he set us the task of leafing through enormous volumes of difficult charms to try and master.

Gwen and I teamed up yet again and we picked out a couple to give a whirl. We began with some of the more complicated healing spells (unfortunately these may come in handy soon enough) as well as a weather altering charm and some work on wandless magic, mostly conjuring things like water or fire at will.

Our steadfast marauders however, for all four were present now, had chosen some decidedly less useful charms. They had begun work on an animating charm, and Potter and Black were currently highly enjoying themselves by making an apple and an orange tango across the desk. All four of them would laugh and cheer as the orange dipped the apple and then continued its antics.

When they had sufficiently mastered the charm, after finishing with the apple and orange and then motivating two desks to attempt a waltz, they moved on to what would obviously catch the attention of boys. Strength and stamina spells.

Needless to say they were rather thrilled at their discovery of these particular charms. And as I hope that these were not originally created for the purpose that they were undoubtedly going to use them for, I feel that these would only be too helpful. Black and Potter spent the rest of the period racing each other on strips of the floor that they had bewitched to move somewhat like a muggle treadmill. Pettigrew watched, riveted and laughed constantly, a high nasal laugh that was genuinely annoying. Remus, after watching them for about five minutes with an amused expression, turned back to the book and began working on shield charms.

Gwen and I hadn't exactly a safe way to practice healing spells so we simply tried the incantations and hoped that we wouldn't get an opportunity to use them. We moved on to wandless magic shortly afterwards which, I must say, was extremely difficult with the notorious marauders in the room. It was all about mental focus. We started by using the apple and orange from the marauders' earlier stunts. The aim was to levitate the fruit. I stared at the apple repeating "_Wingardium Leviosa_" over and over. Eventually I closed my mind off from the sounds of running and laughing in the background and focused only on the incantation imagining that I had a wand in my hand, pointing at it. Finally the apple rose a little off the desk, I reached out coaxing it up with my hand and up it went. I soon could move my hand and have it follow. I tried cutting the apple in two and was successful to my great delight. Gwen was looking at me with jealousy, she had gotten the orange to float but it wouldn't budge from its current position.

I took the looming opportunity to hurl half of my apple at Potter's head. To my great pleasure it hit him square in the back of the head. Now keep in mind that the moment it hit him he was already running at breakneck speed. The impact send him flying forward, a blatantly embarrassing event that he _somehow_ was able to save by turning into a somersault and ending up on his feet and looking as if he had intentionally done it. Damn him! Will I EVER have victory? He turned on me with a sly grin and the apple in hand.

"Temptation Evans? What do you have to offer?" He said this with that 'I'm to sexy to say no to' look on his face as he walked toward me, and I am embarrassed to say that I was rooted to the spot. He _did_ look good. It was very difficult to keep my lust in check and reply without letting him seduce me further. So I took the best road out that I could while still saving face.

"I'll show you exactly what I have to offer." I said as sexily as I could, drawing closer.

His eyebrows shot up, "Oh? Now I'm very curious. What do you have to show me?" He said with a wicked grin.

I took one step closer so that we were only a few inches apart. "This." I whispered, then I promptly slapped him, hard.

"What the BLOODY HELL was that for?" He demanded of me, rubbing his red, smarting cheek.

"That," I said matter-of-factly with a grin. "Is temptation."

Potter wasn't about to let me get away with that, so he took his vengeance at lunch. I was enjoying a very pleasant meal, chatting with Alice and Frank, who had become extremely touchy feely since they got together over the summer. I recalled with a shudder, when I had found out, on the train…honestly does ANYONE think to lock the damned compartment?

Well they were quite cute and I was having a nice peaceful Potter-free lunch when suddenly an apple came striding over to me from a couple seats down the long Gryffindor table, in what was unmistakably a seductive manner. It sang a rather crude song about my sex appeal then proceeded to get down and dirty with my fork.

It was gross to say the least, and embarrassing considering about half the table saw it and the damned inanimate objects wouldn't stop going at it, no matter what I tried to do. Once the apple even attempted to get me to join in for a threesome. So there I was bright red from embarrassment with a climaxing fruit on my plate and no utensil. It was not exactly my idea of a good first day back to school. Not to mention I had two more classes with the bloody idiot. Damn it all to hell!

After lunch was the incredibly boring history of magic class. Binns was already at his desk waiting for us when we came in. Potter and Black gravitated toward the back of the room where they, undoubtedly would be scheming up some new prank and pay no attention whatsoever to the lesson. They would then employ multiple tactics to get Remus to give them his notes. Which he, being a softy and their best friend, always would.

I gritted my teeth. It took SO much effort to stay awake in this class let alone take notes. Binns stood and looked around at us

"It is good to see you all well and have returned to Hogwarts School of witchcraft and wizardry in one piece." He said in his insufferable monotone.

The rest of the lesson was even more boring than that. We learned about the recent goblin riot of 1952 in which the Gringotts goblins closed the bank until the Ministry agreed to make negotiations. This should have been fascinating but with Binn's voice droning on through even the most exciting parts, it was a nightmare. I've often wondered how it is that, that man is still alive. He's so ancient that it looks as though he should have died years ago. He has not however so we must sit and wish that he would indeed die this year and save us from this misery.

Potter and Black were not suffering however because they had devised a way to make Binns' class ten times more interesting. Unfortunately this involved turning the light fixtures into sprinklers. Ten minutes later a sopping wet Binns awarded them detention. The last fifteen minutes of class was spent magically drying out our bags and clothes. I spent a good ten minutes wringing out my hair. Until Gwen reminded me of how stupid I was and magically dried it in about two seconds.

In my defense my sharpness of my mind had been somewhat befuddled in my anger at Potter. If he could do ONE more thing to piss me off, this was it. Not to mention we were supposed to be setting examples and here the _head boy_ had gotten himself landed in detention the _first_ day of classes. Stupid blighter. After the long agonizing hour was over, we all leapt up and practically ran out of the classroom and away from the sprinklers of doom.

Our last class of the day was Defense Against the Dark Arts. This was directly after History of Magic so the majority of the class headed up the staircase to the West tower. We didn't know why our Defense Against the Dark Arts class was even _in _the West tower, but it was. Strangely enough we actually didn't even know who our teacher would be, sure the new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher had been introduced at the start of term, however his name was not listed on our schedules.

So it was with apprehension and curiosity that we began our ascent to the West Tower. We were delayed however, on our way up with the arrival of Marauder Prank Number four.

The majority of the class was about halfway up the stairs when there were a couple screams ahead of us, we turned a bend and about four people were dangling upside down suspended by their ankles. I groaned, Potter was obviously behind this one. Sure enough a few seconds later three more people were up. Within about five minutes somewhere around twenty students were hanging in midair. That was about everyone in the corridor but Gwen and I. Yes it was most definitely a marauder plot. The only problem was, I didn't see a single one of them and I couldn't for the life of me, figure out how the hell they did it.

A minute later Potter, Black and Remus rounded the corner laughing and talking about Binns. They stopped short when they saw the dangling forest of their classmates. They stared stupidly at the forms and then broke out into hysterical laughter.

"Potter, get them down NOW!" I said angrily.

"Oh come on Evans." Potter said gasping for breath, "You can't honestly think we did this? We were down with Binns the whole time discussing our detention." He had a fair point, but I knew he was behind it.

"Fine then, don't admit it, you could at least be a responsible head boy and HELP me get them down!'

Potter gave me a cocky grin. "But of course your highness."

I scowled. I especially hate it when he does that in public. Now everyone else was snickering at me.

"Oh shut it!" I snapped and stormed up the stairs with Gwen at my heels, leaving the marauders to get the lot down on their own. "

Screw them all." I seethed.

"Yes we know how horrifically EVIL the great James Potter is." Gwen said sarcasm dripping from her every pour.

"You know what, you should shut it too!" I said angrily.

Gwen looked put off. "Excuse me, miss I'm-too-proud-to-admit-that-I'm-madly-in-love-with-Potter"

I whirled around. "I do NOT LIKE POTTER! He is a self absorbed idiotic stubborn ass and I'd be perfectly happy never to see his face again!"

Gwen grinned this time. "See, you're smitten."

I screamed in anger and wrenched open the door of the tower room, we had reached the top a moment before. I walked smack into the last person I expected to see.

"Professor Dumbledore?" I said in a weak voice, hoping he hadn't heard me yelling.

From the look on his face, I was sure he had. There was that amused sort of grin tugging at the corners of his mouth and his eyes had that knowing twinkle.

"Are you and Mr. Potter having difficulties working together?" He asked me serenely. Knowing I couldn't lie to Dumbledore, the man has an uncanny way of knowing exactly what you are thinking, I sighed.

"Well, we don't exactly get along very well. He jokes a lot and I get mad too easily." Dumbledore smiled.

"Well we will have to fix that then won't we? " my heart soared. Perhaps he was going to make someone else head boy!

"I think you and Mr. Potter haven't gotten a chance to get to know each other. We'll arrange for a time in which you can discuss your relationship and responsibilities for the year." My heart sank. More Potter?

"Of course Professor." Dumbledore had that damned grin on again.

"Perhaps next Tuesday, a heads' meeting will be in order, yes?"

"Sure, in our dormitory?"

Dumbledore nodded. "That seems reasonable. Now Miss Evans if you would be so kind as to step aside, I think the rest of the class has been returned to their feet and are waiting to enter."

I hadn't realized that the rest of the class had managed to catch up in the last five seconds of our conversation.

"Come in, I won't bite. Well, not yet." He gave me a wink and ushered the group into the room.

It was a large circular room as the tower was wont to be. The room consisted of two levels with the upper half being mostly just a walkway overhanging the lower level by about five feet. There were large glass windows on both "floors" and a small winding gold staircase that lead to the upper floor. The floor was a deep mahogany inlaid with a large winding Celtic design of rosewood. However the room was bare other than this.

"Welcome." Dumbledore said, surveying us over his half-moon spectacles.

"I'm sure you are all somewhat befuddled by your current predicament, you weren't bargaining for the Headmaster when you signed up for Advanced defensive magic and its practical uses, were you?" He seemed to take the awkward silence as a yes and continued.

"I have decided that due to present circumstances, what with the Lord Voldemort –" at this the majority of the class gave an involuntary shudder "- continually gaining power, I decided that unfortunately many of you will soon be involved in the war that is beginning and you will need better training in defensive magic if you have any hope of survival."

We all stared at him. It was probably true, but we were a little offended, not to mention quite terrified. It made us feel like first years again, young, vulnerable and ignorant. It was not a pleasant feeling to say the least. I can honestly admit that I'm scared. But Dumbledore acknowledged this as well.

"I'm sure that for most of you this is an extremely frightening concept and I agree, it is. However you are all extremely intelligent and skilled witches and wizards and I have full faith that every one of you will be sufficiently prepared to face the world upon your graduation. At least, as prepared as I can make you, the rest of life you will have to figure out on your own. Now we will be meeting here every week. This room will serve as our classroom, but there will be no note taking as this is a purely practical class. You will soon come to realize that notes and papers will be utterly useless to you the second you step out of this building."

Well that was disenheartening.

I could see Black looking extremely smug across the room.

"Now." Said Dumbledore, suddenly going into practical mode. " We will be beginning with a simple review of those defensive spells that I deem to be essential to survival. This will be a diagnostic in a sense; I want to make sure you can do all of these without complications. The list is as following."

He turned and wrote in slanting gold handwriting in midair the list of spells that we ought to know for our protection. Most of the list included standard spells that we would have expected. Things like _expelliarmus, riddikulus, wingardium leviosa, petrificus totalus, and stupefy _were the obvious choices but then some more surprising ones popped up. The jelly legs jinx was featured along with the bat bogey hex and sickeningly the very spell that had just had half the class suspended by their ankles, _Levicorpus._ Damn Dumbledore and his encouragement of the troublemakers.

We took out our wands. "I will be pairing you up." Seeing the look of horror on our faces, he said "None of the pairs will ever be the same. Every witch or wizard is different in performing magic and you can get better experience by facing a new opponent every day. Divide yourselves by house."

We all looked at him, surprised; usually Dumbledore was all about integration and unity. We quickly sorted into our respective houses and stood to watch him.

"Now divide yourselves by gender." We moved again and soon their were four groups of girls and four of boys all standing in clumps. It's the tendency, teenagers _must_ stand in clumps. Merlin knows why but we do. Once we were organized Dumbledore proceeded to match all of the Gryffindors with Ravenclaws of the opposite gender. The Hufflepuffs with the Slytherins of the opposite gender.

I was paired with Mark Chang, the boy who had been paired with Nott in potions. He was a very good-looking Chinese bloke and we had a very pleasant time as we took turns practicing the standard spells on one another. I kicked his arse however. Mostly because I was better at practical work than he was (the Ravenclaws do like their books) and he was such a gentleman that he was having great difficulties bringing himself to attack a lady and whenever he actually hit me with anything he immediately preformed the counter curse and then apologized profusely for the next five minutes until I could convince him that I was perfectly fine.

Potter was working with a girl named Violet White. She is, to put it plainly, the school whore. That doesn't mean that she has done ALL the boys, but if a bloke wants her, they usually get her. I don't know how many times she's actually slept with any of them but she's no virgin. Simply, she's got a tarnished reputation.

Potter was flirting with her as he usually did with all the attractive girls. It irked me for some inexplicable reason. He always did that. In fact I was usually quite thankful that some large breasted tart had diverted his attention from myself for but a moment. But now it just pissed me off. Maybe it was the way she was giggling at everything he said or how she seemed to find a million excuses to touch him. She would also do this incredibly annoying thing where she would shriek and duck when Potter fired a spell at her.

If he did hit her, (which he almost always did, he has good aim, probably from those Quidditch reflexes or something of the like) she would glare at him until he removed it and then wait expectantly for a gentlemanly apology. She certainly offered me good practice. I learned what it was like to try to fight someone when there is a major distraction in the background.

Honestly, she even manages to look like a tart. An achievement that takes some effort considering we all wear the same clothes. She never wore her tie and took the opportunity of the empty space it left, to unbutton the top three buttons on her shirt. I swear she had lowered the neckline on her sweater, which showed ten times more cleavage than mine can. Her skirt was shorter than most of ours and was probably rolled over at the waist once or twice.

It was simply upsetting. I know this seems so cliché; the brainy girl hates the slutty little flirt. But I really don't like her. Besides, who names their child after two colors? Do parents have any creativity anymore? And there was something about her flirting with Potter that really ticked me off. As much as he bugs me I've got used to his pestering and flirting and jokes. He's my idiot and I don't want to share him. Not to mention the head boy going out with the school slut wouldn't set a very good example for the rest of the student body. It would also help to enhance his already notorious reputation when it comes to women.

I was getting high strung again and accidentally took out my anger on poor Chang. I fired a particularly strong Jelly legs Jinx at him and even after I'd used the counter curse he wobbled around the room for about twenty minutes.

I hope that the house elves are up to working tonight because I'm going to request room service, a.k.a. I go to the kitchens and ask them to attend to my every whim, and I could really use a strong pot of tea.

Class ended and we were finally free. I have to admit, I've got a good schedule, but I was completely frazzled.

An hour later found me curled up in a large fluffy armchair in the head common room with a pot of tea, muffins, scones and a really sappy romance novel. Naturally I find these books horrifically bad. However reading them is somewhat of a guilty pleasure and they give me a good laugh. So I was finally unwinding from all of the stress and Potter-idiocy I had sustained today, when who should stumble through the portrait hole but none other than the biggest pain in my ass and his latest shag, or at least, shag to be.

No, not Black, though he would have been pretty bad. No just as luck would have it. Potter stumbled in with a leech pressed to his mouth. A very large leech that was eating his face off. A leech in the shape of Violet White. When they broke apart for air, which took a little while to my great disgust, Potter spotted me.

"Evans! Oh, uh, didn't realize you were here…"

"Apparently not." I said a little angrily.

"Didn't bother to check though did you?" He had just barged in on my private time to breathe, re-caffeinate and attempt to forget how annoying he had been today. Not to mention he had brought White into MY common room.

"Well uh, you might want to leave Evans, unless you're really kinky in which case you may watch if you so wish." He flashed that cocky grin again, the one he puts on when he says something wicked.

"Potter if you would like to retain your reproductive organs I would suggest that you never mention something so vile in my presence ever again."

"I'll take that as a no."

"Damn right you will."

"Jamsie, come on, worry about her later."

"Oh, yeah, Hey Evans, you know Violet, right?"

"Yes…"

"Good, well she can come into our common room now. I gave her the password, just to let you know."

"YOU WH-"

"Later Evans!" He grabbed White's hand before I could get steamed up and begin a yelling match. A second later they disappeared up the stairs to his bedroom. I sank back down into my chair, sufficiently more pissed off than when I had started.

Give her the password. How DARE he? I walked over to the portrait and clambered out into the hall. "I'd like to change the password."

"Of course dear." Said the maiden. "What will it be?"

"Chastity." I said simply. See how Potter likes that one.

Slightly more satisfied, but no less pissed off I sank back down into my chair for the third time this afternoon. However, no sooner had I begun to get wrapped up in my book, then I heard loud shrieks of pleasure. It was possibly the last thing on earth that I wanted to hear. Potter shagging White. But I heard it. Every moan and groan. The banging and knocking of the headboard against the wall. Exactly how long each of them lasted and then the second round when they went at it again, and again, and again. I thought that their energy supply might run out at some point but noooo. They just kept of GOING at it! I tried going up to my room and closing the door, but I could only hear them better from there.

I went down to dinner after what seemed like hours. I sat alone, Gwen was over at the Hufflepuff table with Lockheart, Remus was down a ways and talking animatedly to Black and by the looks of the conversation, they probably knew exactly why Potter was missing.

Alice was nestled in with Frank again. The two of them were laughing at something that Mike Brown was saying to them. The only person who seemed to even care that I was there was Snape, who I had caught staring at me from the Slytherin table.

To say the least, it was not a good way to end the day. By the time I had dragged myself back up to the heads' dormitories I was feeling lonely and a little depressed. Now when I am in that mood, one of two things happen. Either I go into ultra self pity mode or I get REALLY angry. Potter has only once gotten in my way on one of these occasions and it resulted in him getting sent to the hospital wing with slimy green tentacles growing out of his ears.

I get evil when I'm pissed off. That experience taught him to avoid me at all costs if I were indeed in such a mood as I currently was.

I arrived at the portrait. The Knight and the Maiden were kissing…passionately. Making a scene and everything, the other paintings in the hall were either catcalling or telling them to get a room. I think if I had arrived a moment later the knight would have mounted his horse and rode off into the sunset, if you know what I mean.

It would have been cute, or even funny if it hadn't been for the fact that everyone that I was pissed at was doing just that. "CHASTITY!" I shouted angrily at the snogging couple.

The knight looked up. "Not for long." He said. The maiden giggled.

"Just let me in." I seethed trying desperately to keep my temper under control.

"No need to get your knickers in a twist." The knight replied a little huffily.

However the portrait swung open and I was allowed inside. I clambered in; hoping that White was gone and that I could just stumble into bed and get some sleep. Perhaps if I was lucky I wouldn't have to set eyes on Potter and I'd be much more reasonable in the morning.

This was not to be, however. When I walked in there they were. From the looks of it, Potter was preparing to walk her back to her house.

"Evans! Did you bring me any food for dinner?" I looked at him skeptically. He knew me. Was there any sort of chance whatsoever when he _knows_ that I am this angry at him, that I would even THINK about getting him something to eat. Besides, when I want to yell at him we end up having a big row, during which I expect him to yell as loud as I do so that I don't seem unreasonable and childish. And I know for a fact he's always more riled up when he's hungry. I decided not to answer for fear that I'd start screaming on the spot.

"Come on Violet, I'll get you back before the volcano blows." White had the nerve to giggle. Right there in front of me, she laughed in my face and then gave me that "I win" sort of look that only girls can understand when it comes to boys.

That was it, the last straw. "Potter." I began as calmly as I could. "Could I have a word?" He eyed me with a mixture of suspicion and fear.

"You can have a couple when I get back." He took White's hand and was about to open the portrait in a quick get away.

"No! This is a matter of great importance; I need to discuss this NOW. I'm sure that White can find her own house, she's done so for the past six years."

White scowled, but she seemed to think I had some sort of important head issue and that she had gotten Potter in trouble. She certainly had, in trouble with me.

"Love you Jamsie. That was an amazing shag! See you tomorrow!" She giggled flirtatiously and gave him a quick peck on the lips. She then pranced out the door and down the hall.

When I was sure the door was shut tight I rounded on Potter. He was wiping his lips from that last kiss. Apparently it was a little wetter than he had expected. I was satisfied nonetheless.

"I know Evans, you're obviously mad."

"NO SHIT SHERLOCK!"

"Honestly, you can't blame me. A bloke can't enjoy a little romp in the sack once in a while?"

"A bloke maybe, but not the head boy and the school slut. And don't tell that's not true because you _know_ that she's a tart and so does everyone else. If you're going to go shagging girls all over the place you might as well pick a more respectable one!"

"I already did but no, after four years you STILL turn me down."

"THAT IS BECAUSE YOU ARE A SELF ABSORBED IDIOTIC ASSHOLE!"

"Thanks, your highness, virgin ice queen, for your witty remarks. If that's all you have to say about my character I might as well go to bed."

"I'M NOT THROUGH WITH YOU!" I screeched as Potter turned to go up his staircase.

"So Violet is a tart, so what? Did I do anything else to offend your majesty?"

"Yes as a matter of fact. First off, I don't give a bloody fuck if you're shagging girls left and right but you are NOT bringing them into my dormitory without my permission and you are certainly not going to forget to put a silencing charm up ever again or you will have to learn the hard way what happens when I get really mad." Potter began to blush when I mentioned the silencing charm.

"You…heard?"

"HEARD? I ONLY HEARD EVERY GROAN AND BANGING OF THE HEADBOARD! I NEVER EVER WANT TO HEART VIOLET WHITE CLIMAX EVER AGAIN!"

This time he really was blushing.

"Sorry…must have forgotten…a little frantic you know…could have sworn I put it on…"

"We all know that you're the sexiest creature on the face of the planet but in all honesty we don't want PROOF."

"JEEZ EVANS I'M SORRY! ISN'T THAT ENOUGH? IS ANYTHING ENOUGH FOR YOU? GET OFF MY CASE FOR ONCE IN YOUR BLOODY LIFE! "

"OH NOW THIS IS **MY** FAULT! I'M SUPPOSED TO BE PERFECTLY HAPPY TO SIT IN THE COMMON ROOM AND LISTEN TO MY ROOMMATE AND THE PRESIDENT OF THE DOUBLE D CLUB GETTING IT ON IN THE NEXT ROOM!"

"COME OFF IT! IT'S NO SIN. JUST BECAUSE YOU HAVEN'T GOTTEN ANY DOESN'T MEAN THAT THE REST OF US SHOULD MISS OUT. YOU HAD YOUR CHANCE EVANS HALF OF THE SCHOOL WANTS TO GET INTO YOUR KNICKERS AND YOU FLIP THEM ALL OFF. AND I KNOW WHY. YOU'RE A PRUDE. A COLD VIRGIN. YOU'LL DIE AN OLD MAID AT THIS RATE EVANS. SO IF YOU CARE SO MUCH ABOUT MY SEX LIFE YOU MIGHT AS WELL GO GET YOUR OWN!"

Now, I've learned to ignore most of Potter's insults but that one stung.

"FINE THEN, I WILL!"

"FINE! I'm going down to the kitchens to get something to eat. And then on to Binn's detention. _Goodnight_ Evans."

I wasn't ready to be civil. I didn't say a word but rather stormed up to bed. I wish I could sit here and rave about how great my day was. But I'm too mad at that stupid blighter. Ah well. Tomorrow is another day. With luck Gwen will be able to cheer me up. Thank Merlin for friends; I'd be dead without her. Well that's all for now. It is time for me to get some sleep. Buona Sera.

-_Lily_

Thanks for reading! I wanted to make it a really long chapter to make it worth the wait. It's been tough writing during Junior year, which is more hectic and stressful than I could imagine. I counted; I have exactly 15 standardized tests that I have to take this year. It sucks, I just took the SAT, which for all you on the other side of the Atlantic stands for Stupid Ass Test and it is written by the Evil Testing Scum. This evil testing scum decided to make this test so important that you cannot get into a competitive college without doing well on the test. They are EVIL! Anyhoo. It is over now and I will stop bitching. So what with the rather cluttered year I am having, I hope to write as much as I can, but I can make no guarantees as to when the next chapter will be posted. I can only hope that those of you who have read the story thus far will hold tight and wait. Thank you all!

By the way, the character Violet White, I made up. I don't like making up characters, I want to stay as true to the book as possible, but as I ran out of character names I decided that Miss White will be Lavender Brown's mother. I thought that it was only fitting for her to have a double color name as well.

Next time –

Prongspal


	7. Precursors to larengitis

Hey all, I haven't updated in FOREVER, and so I apologize, but that is how I am at the moment. I can't exactly call it being lazy, but there's this thing called a life, and I actually have one, strange, no? Well this is my little break from life when it gets too tiring. I hope you all enjoy it, its freakishly long, but I think I sorta owed a long chapter. Oh, and before I forget, if you have a heart, or if you really don't like me, be kind enough to leave a review, I swear the extra 5 seconds of your life will NOT be a waste because it will be bringing joy to someone else, namely me!

September 3rd

**Number of marauder pranks**: 3 (an improvement!)

**Cherry Update:** still a negative, but I am working on it!

**Number of males hot enough to shag: **4 (Two of these are Potter and Black neither of whom I would sleep with, were they the last males on earth. Remus is the third but he is my best buddy, so that's just weird. It would be like shagging a brother. Ick. I guess the only real option is Diggory…yum.)

I was determined to avoid Potter this morning so I woke up at the crack of dawn. This turned out to be a bad decision considering the fact that in my anger and annoyance I couldn't fall asleep for hours and only got around three hours of sleep last night. So I fell asleep on a couch in the common room. Brilliant Lily, avoid Potter by putting oneself in a location where he is bound to find you while you're most vulnerable. However, to my great surprise Potter did not find me. I ended up waking up about an hour or so later and for once in my life I was actually running on time.

When I was ready to go down to breakfast I headed out, having no intention of going upstairs and waking up Potter. If he was late, well then he bloody well deserved it. When I walked out of the portrait way I found something far better.

Potter was outside, asleep. He was propped up against the wall as if he had fallen asleep in a sitting position and had slid down a bit. His head was lagging to the side and his robes were ruffled. He actually looked really sweet, his eyes closed and his breathing soft and even. However I had to take advantage of the situation.

I drew my wand. I probably could have done something really sinister. However, being the nice person that I am, I opted for writing "manwhore" on his forehead in bright pink writing.

I turned to the Knight and his maiden. "Let him in, I think he got what he deserved."

The knight looked puzzled. "But he didn't know the password my lady!"

I laughed. Of course, I had changed it. "Its alright, I hadn't told him that I'd changed it. Just let him in when he wakes up."

The Maiden nodded. "Of course dear."

I turned back to the sleeping Potter. I was really tempted to divest him of his clothes and color his boxers to match the writing on his head. I figured that he had suffered enough by being stuck out in the hall all night and that I'd get a better revenge later.

On the other hand, what better time than the present to exact my revenge? I used the opportunity to wake him up. I conjured up a small rain cloud above Potter's head. I set it so that the rain would disappear before it hit the floor. Therefore soaking Potter, with no inconvenience to anyone else.

I let the downpour begin. I made sure that it was icy cold.

He woke with a yelp.

"BLOODY HELL!" he shouted, jumping up. The rain cloud followed.

He did a weird little dance around trying to throw it off, to no avail. I couldn't help it. I just threw my head back and laughed.

Potter turned to look at me, the cloud still pouring over his head. He had a look of combined fury and exasperation. I had gotten him back and he didn't like admitting it. He stood there, getting drenched with a scowl on his face just watching me laugh, affording me the pleasure. Then the corners of his mouth kicked up and he cracked a wide grin.

A moment later he was laughing with me and he walked closer, gasping for air, doubled up from the humor of it. That was when he did it. He walked over and drew me into a hug. I screeched, but he held on tight. The water really was cold.

"POTTER! GET OFF!" I squealed, getting soaked, my hair hanging limp on my shoulders and my clothes beginning to stick.

He laughed for real now. "You should have known I'd get you back.' He said softly in my ear. "You look good when you're wet Evans." He muttered in that sexy sort of growl.

I was suddenly extremely aware of how close we were.

"Nothing can rain on your parade can it?" I asked with a smirk. He had this amazing talent for upsetting all my plans of retaliation.

"Of course not." He grinned. "Hey that reminds me, BINNS!" he said loudly.

I jumped back in surprise. Great way to break the moment. "What about him?" Really we're having a bonding moment and you ruin it by bringing up the most boring human being on the planet. The one that REFUSES to die.

"He's dead!" Potter said excitedly.

"WHAT?" I asked, perhaps too hopefully. "No more Binns?"

He shook his head. "No, he came back as a ghost and he's still teaching."

I stared at him. "You're kidding me."

"No, The man is dead, and has returned to make our lives miserable for all eternity."

"That bloody fuck!" I snarled.

"Nice change in the weather." Potter commented.

"Huh?" The rain cloud was still raining. And I realized that I was really quite cold.

"You swearing at someone else, it's just a pleasant change." I glared at him.

"Honestly Potter I don't curse at you just for fun."

He looked shocked. "REALLY?"

" You always deserve it! You bloody prick!"

He laughed again and pulled me back under the rain cloud. "You're getting dry."

"Let go Potter, we do have class, believe it or not."

He grinned. "I'm not letting go until you make the cloud go away."

"I need my arms for that."

"Well I guess we'll just have to stand here then."

"POTTER!"

It was at this moment when we were both sufficiently soaked to the bone and were fighting under a mini rain cloud that Black happened to walk down the corridor.

" Well if it isn't Prongs and Lily Billy!" Sirius called out jovially as he saw us. "Now a rain cloud inside, that's sexy Prongs, I wouldn't have thought of that one, kudos! Have you ever tried shagging under one, or is this a trial run– "

"BLACK!"

"Oh, and Prongs, we all know that you're a manwhore, there's no need to advertise."

"Wha-?" Potter looked down at himself, then following Black's eyes, his hand flew to his forehead. "Would you Padfoot?"

"I'd be delighted." Black strode over and removed my writing.

"Damn you Black, he wasn't supposed to know!"

"Uh oh, triggered the ice queen! Later Prongs!" he left Potter and myself to glower after him as he strode off down the hall and down the stairs.

"Let's get dry, shall we?" Potter suggested. I stepped back and removed the rain cloud from over Potter's head. He in turn, preformed a drying spell for us both. I began to head for breakfast.

"I need to get my books." Potter said apologetically. As if I cared.

"Oh, uh, what IS the new password?"

I turned and gave him a skeptical look. "If I see Violet White get in on her own because you told her, I will switch it everyday and never tell you."

He sighed. "I promise. Happy?"

"Quite."

"What is it?"

I grinned. "Chastity." I turned on my heel and began to leave.

"THAT'S NOT COOL!" Potter shouted at my retreating back.

So today I arrived in the great hall sufficiently more pleased with myself than yesterday and in much higher spirits. Potter arrived about ten minutes later, his robes more orderly, books under his arm, and a cleaner more together look about him. He always had to look good in public.

He also had this power to silence a room. He would walk in and all talk would die down. Then when he left, it would start up again, ten times louder and more excited this time with an excess of giggling coming from the shallow girls.

Well not all of them are shallow. Even Gwen thinks he's hot, though she's one of the few who have not been at all affected by his charm.

I wish I could say that he's on some magic potion or spell that makes him gorgeous, or some magical skin care product. But no, he's just…well, Potter. And Potter is sexy. Which blows because no one can understand why in the world I turn him down over and over again. I'm starting to wonder myself. I must say, I'm shallow in my own little way; I won't go out with some ugly bloke no matter how nice he is.

However I do set some sort of standard for myself when it comes to the hot ones. They must be NICE. Or at least have a couple manners, and some respect for me. I need to know that he won't throw me over the next day, and seeing Potter's record, I'd be lucky to last a month.

Breakfast somehow miraculously passed without much disturbance. Potter, Remus, Gwen and I all headed down toward the dungeons just as the bell rang. We walked along a stone passageway, then a set of stairs, when suddenly Potter grabbed my arm, jerking me to a halt and almost causing me to drop all of my books.

"What the bloody hell Potter?"

"Slughorn's project!" he said hastily, "I totally forgot!"

I shot him a glare. "Oh really? Were you too busy or something? Anything that was really important to GET DONE?"

He glared back. "Very funny Evans, but I don't recall you suggesting anything."

"Fine, I'll leaf through the text book and pick something."

"Better not be too hard."

"That's the point"

"Oh come off it Evans, you're not really going to pick the hardest potion in the book. Snivellus will do that for us."

"Will you stop ratting on him?"

"No, he's a slimeball and he knows it. He's evil Evans, and _you_ know it."

"You just don't like him, and you want to have an excuse to beat him up. Its not impressive, if that's the reason you do it."

"I will not deny there's a certain joy in making fun of Snivellus, but he hates us as much as we hate him. And anyway, he's found his own ways to continue the feud. If he hadn't fought back the first time, we probably would've gotten bored and left him alone. But each time he's retaliated with something unforgivable. Do you remember that time Padfoot was in the hospital wing for a week?"

"Yeah…what was that about, I never did find out."

"It was a potion, wouldn't allow him to eat. Or rather, he could eat as much as he wanted but he was eternally hungry. It's called the Tantalus potion, you may have heard of it."

I gasped. "But that could have killed him!"

The Tantalus potion functioned like the Greek myth of Tantalus who was chin deep in a pool of water, with food just within his grasp. But when he tried to eat the food shrank away, and when he tried to drink the water moved away. It was eternal torture of hunger and thirst. The potion allowed the victim to eat and drink as much as they wanted, but they would never be satisfied, eventually they would die from starvation if the potion were not identified.

"He almost did. Madame Pomfrey figured it out just in time, she was able to give him the antidote. The staff could never figure out who did it, but we knew it was Snivellus. Must have slipped it in his pumpkin juice, or had some slutty Slytherin girl come over and do it for him. It was dirty to say the least."

For once I actually agreed. The Tantalus potion had been banned from ever being made or administered; and was, in all technicalities, dark magic. In fact I was quite shocked that Snape had dared to use it. I guess he was a little less pathetic than I had thought. I suddenly felt not quite as sorry for him.

"But its illegal! How could he get away with it?"

Potter looked grave. "We had no proof, we knew that everyone would think that we were just trying to rat on our arch rival. Which we were. No, we settle things ourselves. Like men."

I snorted. "Men my bloody arse. Lets get to Potions Potter, before your head grows to big."

He scowled. "Ha.ha."

We walked in a couple minutes late, everyone was seated. "Ah! Mr.Potter and Miss Evans! Lovely to see you both, I was worried." He gave Potter a wink. I felt a little put off. I hate it when people jump to conclusions.

We sat down near the middle of the room and pulled out our books, flipping through quickly, searching for a potion to make. After a minute or so Potter seemed to have found something. "How about Veritaserum?"

I nodded. "Good enough for me."

"Alright, its settled then." Potter whispered.

Slughorn cleared his throat. "Now, you've had 24 hours to think this over. I'm sure you have all decided on a potion to make?" He looked around at the hesitant faces. "Splendid! Let's hear them then, Nott, Chang, you first!" Slughorn proceeded around the room asking about our potions and recording them down in his grade book.

Nott and MacNair were doing a deadly poison and its antidote.

Gwen and Diggory were making a love potion. "Just for fun! Its not like we need it or anything!" Gwen remarked when she told me over breakfast.

Remus and Emmiline Vance were making a polyjuice potion. Then Slughorn got to Snape and MacNair.

"The Veritaserum potion." Snape said with a mildly malevolent glance in our direction.

Bugger.

"Think fast." I whispered.

Potter was glaring at the back of Snape's head but a moment later, his eyes lit up and I knew he had something. When Professor Slughorn turned to us, I let Potter do the talking. "And what is it that you two will be making?"

Potter smiled. "Felix Felicis Professor."

Slughorn laughed. "A very good choice Mr. Potter, very good. Very difficult, but I have faith in you both. Felix has always been a favorite of mine. I hope you don't mind if I take an extra sample do you?"

"Not at all Professor, you are welcome to it."

"Lovely! I will be looking forward to seeing your work!"

I turned to Potter. "Brilliant!"

"I know, you don't have to remind me."

"Come off it. I meant the potion. Its perfect. It would certainly be a nice change to have a little luck on my side." I looked pointedly at Potter.

"I have no idea what I have to do with this!" he exclaimed indignantly.

"Of course you wouldn't." I sighed, having little patience for his stupidity.

"Can we save this conversation for later?" he said in exasperation.

"We already discussed last night." I said icily.

"More like gave a harpy a run for her money" Potter said with an expression of having a particularly painful memory. "My ears are still ringing."

"You weren't exactly quiet as a mouse." I retorted.

"I'm not the one who started the argument!"

"So you ARE blaming me!"

"I still don't see the problem with having a shag."

"That is NOT the issue at hand."

"Yeah well what is?"

"The fact that you are bringing that – that _thing_ into our dormitory, WITHOUT my permission, let alone a warning."

"What? I have to put every girl I shag through the Evans screening test now? Honestly! It's my space too. You're just being selfish!"

"SELFISH! SELFISH? _You_ are talking to me about being SELFISH? Who forgot to put up a decent silencing charm? Who spent the entire afternoon setting the worst example possible for the head boy on his first day? Who made it impossible to work, let alone sit, in the common room because of the racket in the background? And WHO decided to let Violet White the school tramp into the heads common room in the first place?"

"You know what, you're jealous."

"I AM NOT!"

"There is no other good reason for this to upset you."

"I don't want you Potter so don't even bother to ask."

"Will you go out with me?"

"NO!"

"You do love me! That's why you're so mad! Go out with me!"

"NO!"

" Come on Evans, you know you want me. Please go out with me."

"Potter. The answer is no. It will always be no. I will never ever go out with you so long as I am alive. Your best chance is the Imperius curse."

"I'll have to practice then won't I?" he said with a devilish glint in his eye. He sobered at the horrified look on my face. "You know I would never do that Evans!" he said seriously. I nodded, still doubtful.

"That's enough from you two lovebirds!" Slughorn piped, striding over to see what the racket was. I glared daggers at Slughorn but he didn't notice. "Better get started! We don't want to be slacking in our work already, no matter the circumstances."

I looked over at Gwen who was doubled over in silent laughter. Amos Diggory caught my eye instead and gave me a wink. I grinned and winked back. He smiled and turned around. I looked over at Remus who wore an amused expression on his face and as usual regarded the scene from afar with a self-satisfied composure.

I pulled my book closer and began to unload ingredients for Felix. The potion was very difficult indeed. It looked as though it would need very careful attention and a lot of time. As aggravating as that idea was, I was sure it would be worth it. Potter and I worked for the rest of the period in silence, speaking only to confer on the ingredients list and who would be taking care of what, or how to prepare them. It ended up being one of the most productive potions lessons I've ever had. We worked quickly and efficiently in our silence and we soon had all non-rare ingredients amassed in exact measurements. Slughorn, needless to say was extremely pleased.

"Oh how wonderful! Good work Miss Evans, Mister Potter, very well done! I'll instruct you on the next step tomorrow! Now, I'm having a little beginning of the year get together for the Slug club on Monday night, I do hope you'll both attend?"

"Sorry Professor!" I said quickly, not wanting to spend another long evening in one room with Potter, Slughorn, and the rest of his stupid hoard. Even if Gwen was there, which she always was, Slughorn loved the Quidditch players and her Chasing was well known as being one of the best in the school. Second only to…Potter. "We've got our first round of patrols that night. It won't work."

Slughorn looked deeply disappointed. "Well you'll have to give me your schedule, I want to make sure I don't miss out on my dear heads! If you can't make it, Mr. Potter, do me a favor and tell Mr. Black to come, that's a good lad." Potter agreed but I could tell he knew Black wouldn't go.

When the bell rang I wanted to bolt, but I stayed behind to pack away our ingredients as carefully as I could. Potter offered to stay and help of course, but I refused trying to avoid spending one more minute in his presence. When I had finished I left the room and practically walked into Diggory.

"Hey Lily." He said with a warm smile steadying me, as I had fallen almost directly into his arms.

"Hi. Did - did you wait for _me_?"

"But of course."

"What a gentleman." I remarked, quite pleased.

"Only for you." He said with that smile again. A comforting sort of smile that lit up his face and was generally quite pleasant to look at.

"What is that supposed to mean?" I asked, coaxing him, hoping he'd ask me what I heard from Potter daily.

"I'll try to phrase this less bluntly than James, would you madam, accompany me to the lunch meal and then perhaps engage in activities that Professor McGonagall would highly disapprove of?"

I giggled. "Are you asking me out?" I asked hoping against hope that someone FINALLY had realized that I existed and was extremely sexually frustrated.

"Will you, Lily, go out with me?" he asked imploringly with a sweet hopeful look on his face.

"I'd love to! " I replied very energetically.

"Fantastic!" he said brightly, offering me his arm. I took it and he escorted me up to Herbology.

Though Amos, for that's what I'll be calling him now, we both chucked the last name thing early on, is very straight laced and wants to go slow, I tried to be as public about our new relationship as I possibly could; especially around Potter. I almost smothered Amos when I attempted to kiss him passionately after seeing Potter walk in to Charms with Violet White on his arm. Amos took all of this competition as just an unexpressed love for him that I had been harboring and I let him believe that, it made things easier to explain.

Now just because White was hanging all over Potter didn't mean he lost his admirers. There was a vast pack of girls that could be seen in different groups, stalking him from class to class, watching him from alcoves or from around corners, giggling if he looked their way, trying to talk to him, fainting. Yes, bloody fainting! Well that only happened to this one third year girl who got over excited, but honestly, he's just a bloke, not a god! The worst part is, he encourages it. Rather than ignoring them as he ought to do, he plays games with them, pretending he doesn't know they're there, then he turns around and surprises them, causing an outbreak of shrieks and screams and of course, more giggling. Sometimes they would be treated to his signature, I'm-to-sexy-for-my-shirt smile. It's the worst when he's playing Quidditch. They are his most avid fans, covered from head to toe in scarlet and gold and screaming all sorts of obscenities at the opposing team, even if it is their own house.

This is the kind of power he has over people. I was also distressed to learn that he had the power of intimidation over many of the boys. Apparently the reason that I hadn't gotten even a whiff of a date in six years was because Potter had staked me out as "his" and therefore if any other boy so much as touched me their arse would be kicked. Amos was the only one who had the balls to ask me out despite this threat. I was furious to say the least and I'd be taking that one up with Potter in our next row, which I'm sure will be in the next 24 hours or so.

Potter was indeed very aggravated by my new relationship. It wasn't that he didn't like Amos. I had gotten the impression that the two were friendly enough, that time was now over however. It was to my great satisfaction to see Potter glaring at us later at lunch. My new boyfriend had come over to the Gryffindor table to eat with me. Well I hope boyfriend, he had asked me out, but there wasn't really a date. No one ever "dated" at Hogwarts, you asked, hung around together, and then just sorta started shagging. It was after the third or fourth of these so-called "dates" that you would officially gain the status of "couple".

Amos and I had just gotten together this morning, yet somehow by dinner we were the new hot couple and apparently were head over heels for one another. I reveled in this newfound popularity, an edge over Potter I'd been dying to get for a while. The truth was, the Potter-White coupling was now infamous around the school, people having found them in a compromising position in a variety of places, such as broom cupboards, behind tapestries, in empty classrooms, the common room sofa, etc. Their sexual activities had most certainly taken an upward turn when I hooked up with Amos. No doubt White was secretly thanking me for angering Potter so much.

However, I couldn't stand to see her successful and it diminished the joy of my revenge, seeing him snogging her at every available opportunity, if only in retaliation to me and Amos doing the same thing. I really am a hypocrite aren't I? Anyhow, here Potter and I were continuing our rivalry through public displays of affection and mostly taking advantage of two, well I couldn't exactly call them innocent, souls that got caught up in our tangled love lives. Well, more like Potter's consistent manwhoring and my lack of love life. But the point is, we were finding a new way to battle, and I could tell, it wasn't going to be pretty. I was determined to hang on to Amos, simply because I knew that Potter would throw White over in a week or so. I wanted to prove that I was normal and could sustain a real relationship. Then he would be viewed as a playboy and I would be respected.

I WILL have victory. I don't care what it takes. He drives me bloody mad. First he professes his obsession for me and asks me out three times a day, and now he is sticking his tongue down a stupid tart's throat. And for what? For practice? To make me jealous?

Well it didn't work, I'm not jealous and I won't be. Who gives a shit if he is shagging a million girls, he'll never get into my knickers so it doesn't matter. I think I should stop being angry with him; perhaps it will let him know that he's not getting to me and he'll stop. On the other hand he might take advantage of it and walk all over me…

You know never mind. I like yelling at him. And I ought to show him that I disapprove. I think I'll continue with my tirade of anger. He really does drive me mad. I don't know why he gets to me so, but he does. Its like he can agitate me in a way no one else can, not Black, not Remus, not Gwen. He digs under my skin and he can twist me however he wants. I always seem to play straight into his hands. I am so ready to get back at him. And no matter what I do, he always wins.

I'll get him yet. One day, when he isn't expecting it, I'll get him back.

However, just when I thought my day couldn't possibly get any worse something happened to make me wonder how I can possibly endure the rest of this year in one piece.

It proceeded as expected; I brought Amos up to our common room, to get even with Potter. I didn't see him, I didn't want to bother to look. Amos and I made out on a couch near the fire for almost two hours. It was great. I felt so pretty, and just happy too.

But then Potter and White came downstairs, fully dressed THANK MERLIN, and Potter catches sight of us. Luckily I had grabbed Amos and continued our antics before he saw us.

"Oi! What the bloody hell is he doing here?"

Amos pulled away in alarm with a gentlemanly blush flushing his cheeks.

"I could ask the same of you!" I said already riled up and ready to retort.

"I thought it was fine with you to have Violet here!" He said a little put off but wearing a look of, 'well at least that's what I told _her_'.

"What in the BLOODY universe gave you that idea?" I demanded, seething.

"OH I SEE!" He had begun to yell, I _love_ it when he starts it first, then I don't look like as much of a bitch. "ITS PERFECTLY FINE FOR YOU TO BRING DIGGORY IN, AND YET VIOLET'S PRESENCE IS SACRILEGE?"

"It IS sacrilege!"

I had gone too far. I had directly insulted her and there would be hell to pay, more from _her_ than from him.

"EXCUSE me Evans, do you have a PROBLEM with me?"

Potter's eyes widened as he looked between she and I, he was about to witness a catfight, but this was perhaps one of the first situations in which it wasn't over him.

"Oh! No, not at all, I have no objection whatsoever to the school whore having full freedom to use the heads common room at her leisure. Come now _Violet_ how could I possibly have a problem with you?" I hissed, lacing each word with as much sarcasm as one can fit into a venomous insult.

Potters eyes widened further if they could. He made no contradiction to my statement however, using his brain for once and keeping out of it.

"HOW DARE YOU! YOU STUCK UP INTELLECTUAL EGOTISTIC BITCH! YOU THINK YOU'RE SO BLOODY SPECIAL DON'T YOU? THE BRIGHTEST GIRL IN HER YEAR, ALL THE BOYS DROOLING OVER YOU AND TURNING THEM ALL DOWN, WELL I'M SMARTER THAN THAT, I TAKE WHAT I CAN GET AND WHAT I CAN GET IS GOOD. YOU ARE JUST A COLD JEALOUS FREAK OF NATURE, GO RUIN SOMEONE ELSE'S FUN!"

With that she turned on her heel and marched toward the door, pausing to shoot Potter a glare through the tears that were welling up in her eyes and then stalked out of the portrait hole and slamming the portrait behind her, resulting in some loud complaining and general discord from the Knight and his lady on the opposite side.

"I'll leave you then shall I?" Amos said tentatively his voice a little shaky obviously jarred by my nasty comments and White's emotional outbreak. He gave me a quick kiss on the cheek, a short abrupt nod to Potter and then hurriedly strode out after White. He however, closed the portrait with much more courtesy and perhaps a little more delicately than normal.

I stared at the back of the door for a few moments still somewhat paralyzed by the shock of the encounter and still almost trembling in fury. How could she SAY that? Was she just being mean in response or was that really people's opinion of me? I wasn't stuck up and self-absorbed…was I? I was in dire need to hit something and at the moment her face sounded like a really good idea. I had to resist the temptation to chase after her and throttle the little bitch. But I opted to take my anger out on Potter instead.

However it seemed that he was still riled up as well and was the first to speak. "He doesn't step foot in here again." He said, in a threatening calm voice.

"You're going to have to get used to a crowd because there is no way in hell I'm going to do as you like. Not after that." I retorted in a voice as calm and composed as I could manage while I wanted to rip his head off. "How could you let her say that to me?"

Potter looked uncomfortable.

"YOU AGREE DON'T YOU!" I screeched, my anger getting the better of me.

"What? No! It was what you said that rang the truer of the two sentiments, however I knew it wasn't my place to get involved on either side, it would only end in my funeral."

I scowled. "Well at least you have enough brains somewhere in that thick skull to keep it on your shoulders."

He grinned. "I think you just admitted that I have a small amount of intelligence!"

Now I was getting pissed off. I had a lot of pent up anger and I was ready to take it out on Potter, and he wasn't cooperating. "Yes, you stupid prat, I don't deny, your skills in magic are beyond the level of many accomplished adults, but your social skills on the other hand…"

His smirk turned into a scowl to match mine. "Oh yeah? Who is going out with some fluffed up 'gentleman' just because she's jealous?"

"I AM NOT JEALOUS! I COULD NEVER BE JEALOUS OF YOU AND THAT SLUT GETTING IT ON SO STOP ACTING LIKE YOU ARE THE BLOODY KING OF THE UNIVERSE AND STOP TREATING ME LIKE I AM ONE OF YOUR ADORING FANS. CAUSE I'M NOT! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! YOU MAKE ME MAD JUST WHEN I LOOK AT YOU! WHY ARE YOU SO HELL BENT ON MAKING MY LIFE MISERABLE?"

He stared at me in shock, his face contorted in anger, but his eyes showed that I had hit a nerve, he was hurt. "FINE THEN, YOU DON'T HAVE TO PROVE ANYTHING BY SHAGGING PRETTY BOY DIGGORY! MERLIN! WHY? WHY DID YOU HAVE TO GO AND PICK BLOODY DIGGORY? HE'S ON THE HUFFLEPUFF QUIDDITCH TEAM, I'M NOT LETTING THE ENEMY INTO MY COMMON ROOM!"

I was gearing up for the worst now, getting my anger out feels good, it had been pent up all summer long and I have been so ready to get back into another one of these fights, there are no rules, insults go flying and we can go back to being civil the next day.

"THE ENEMY? IS THAT ALL YOU CAN THINK ABOUT? SEX AND QUIDDITCH. YOU ARE MORE OF A SHALLOW PRICK THAN I HAD THOUGHT! WHAT'S WRONG WITH AMOS ANY WAY? HE'S A HELL OF A LOT NICER THAN YOU! AND HE DOESN'T GO AROUND SLEEPING WITH EVERY BLOKE IN THE SCHOOL!"

"OH COME OFF IT, VIOLET ISN'T THAT MUCH OF A WHORE! YOU ARE JUST JEALOUS THAT I'M GETTING LAID. THAT I CAN GET ATTENTION WITHOUT HAVING TO DEPEND ON YOU. YOU LIKE WATCHING ME SUFFER AND I'M SICK OF IT. I'M SICK OF THE WAY YOU TREAT ME, IT'S YOUR TURN TO HAVE YOUR HEART BROKEN, AND AS MUCH AS IT HURTS ME TO SAY IT, YOU DESERVE IT!"

I was a little shocked by that one, I'll admit it. It was true, I almost hadn't thought about how annoying it must be for him to hear my constant NO! in response to his pleas. I had to admit to myself, inside, I liked it when he asked me out. It made me feel beautiful, and wanted, and important. Violet White had called me egotistical and self-absorbed. I think it was the first time that I realized how true this was. And for once I could reasonably blame one of my personal defects on Potter.

It was he that bloated my ego. He and our teachers whose respect for my constant hard work and good grades that boosted my academic status and certainly turned me into an intellectual snob. I had to grudgingly admit, it wasn't Potter's fault entirely that I could never get a date.

I was good looking enough to attract anyone, but once you got to know me, an overly intellectual fiery redhead who would start a fight before you even did something wrong. However I cannot possibly admit to myself that this is true, and anyway, if it was Potter's fault that he got me egotistical in the first place, and never in our multiple fights had mentioned my egotism, I can only logically provide that it is completely and totally his fault.

"YOU HAVE NO HEART TO BREAK! YOU ARE JUST LIKE ANY OTHER GUY! DRIVEN BY HIS LIBIDO, THINKING OF NOTHING ELSE AND BREAKING EVERYONE ELSE'S HEART WHILE YOU COMPLAIN ABOUT YOUR OWN ANGST. TOUGH SHIT. IF YOU DIDN'T LIKE BEING AROUND ME YOU SHOULD HAVE BACKED OFF AGES AGO! HOW COULD YOU LET HER SAY THAT? HOW?"

He was really riled up now. He walked up to me and stood inches away, I could feel the heat emanating from him; he had his fists clenched at his sides and looked as though he was about ready to throttle me right then and there.

" You know Evans, you only have yourself to blame for this." I snorted in disbelief. He continued however, "if I break girl's hearts its because mine has been broken so many times, by just one girl. You've been a bitch Evans, and if I bug the hell out of you then all I can say is that you had it coming to you. I'm not going to stop bringing girls to bed, but if I see that poof of a boyfriend of yours in here again, his arse will be halfway around the Quidditch pitch before he knows what hit him."

This all he hissed in a menacing voice, his eyes flared up and focusing on me, I could literally feel them boring into my conscience.

"You have no right to say I've cruelly broken your heart a million times over, because you know it is a lie. I told you once that I can't stand you. You have always been the greatest prick to everyone and yet you have insisted in bothering me about it. That is not breaking your heart. That it you being a total fuckwit. And as for your little threat, how many more nights do you fancy sleeping in the hall?"

It was this that sobered him up a bit, but he was so angry he wasn't about to give in. He stepped even closer and I could feel the heat of his breath lightly on my face.

"Try me." It came out as a sort of growl whispered in my ear. I was utterly surprised to find that I got a shiver down my spine as some of the heat moved south. I also was completely distraught to find that I had a sudden urge to close the distance between us. His lips looked so good, even when the words passing through them cut like a knife.

Damn teenagers and our hormones. I swear they will my death. How could one possibly be torn between killing and kissing a boy? I mean, it just doesn't happen. I had never denied that he was good looking, but this was the first time I had found him…attractive. I did my best to keep my composure and not show any signs of weakness. If he thought I liked him, I would be completely at his mercy.

"You are going to wish you never said that." I whispered back, leaning in a little closer.

Now we were almost nose-to-nose. His expression was unreadable, his eyes were still burning, but perhaps now with a different sort of fire. He looked like he was debating what to do or say. Finally he got a funny little smile on his face and retorted in a normal voice that almost threw me out of my reverie.

"We'll see. For now, the rule stands that anyone is allowed in; we'll fight it out on a case-to-case basis. I'm sure we'll have no problem blowing out our voice chords over such a small matter for a second time."

I looked at him incredulously. "Fine then, agreed, anyone. But if you don't have a silencing charm…"

He laughed, but sort of a chuckle combined with a sigh. "Yeah, well I'll know not to get you angry again. If anything it was…enlightening. However I've had my fill of angst for the evening. Goodnight Evans, perhaps tomorrow I'll be ready to forgive you."

I was prepared to retort heatedly and start the argument up again, but I didn't really have the energy or the will power. I let his snide comment go and stayed silent.

Through the whole dialogue he hadn't moved from his position inches away from me, the distance in which there is such thick sexual tension you can see the sparks.

Now he turned away and without another word went up the staircase to his room, leaving me feeling empty, angry and unfortunately, horny.

I probably won't be speaking to him for another few days. It always seems to happen after our biggest fights, especially the ones that other people witness, we have to avoid one another, if anything out of courtesy. I'm just glad I'll get a little peace and quiet for two days. Although I wouldn't be surprised if White had spread some nasty rumor about me throughout the school and scarred my name and reputation forever…

Ah well. I can save that for tomorrow, I have bigger problems to think about…

-_Lily_

Ok, so that's the end of an incredibly long chapter. However I felt that it was appropriate to write a long one to make up for the large gap of time between updates. I'll try to be better. I swear! Anyway, I've decided that given my record and the nature of the fic that it would get insanely boring and even more insanely long if I were to write each and every day. Not to mention that Lily with her 5 billion classes probably wouldn't have much time left for a diary. So I'll be skipping around, days, weeks at a time, depending on how the story is going. So if the in the next chapter a couple days are left out, don't worry, my computer did not go haywire and delete everything! Anyway I've probably properly bored you now.

I can only now get down on my hypothetical virtual knees and beg for reviews. Can't you see me digitally kneeling at your feet? You get the picture. See you next time!

-Prongspal


	8. Angst 101

Chapter 8 – Angst 101

Hey all! SO sorry that it has taken me so long to update, I know a lot of people have ditched this fic and for good reason, but homework and life got in the way, and I'm not one to put writing fanfiction above AP homework on my list of priorities, so please forgive me. I wrote a super long chappie this time, so please enjoy!

September 19th

**Marauder Pranks**: Too many to count

**Cherry Update**: Soooo close... Amos is a bloody prude

**Number of times that I have made Violet White cry**: 7

So, its been about two weeks since I last wrote in this thing, needless to say much has happened that is noteworthy, including the most homework I have ever seen in my life. I stacked it all up on a table yesterday and I swear it's taller than I am, (seated of course) but still! I am going to have many a sleepless night struggling through all of this. However, it wouldn't be anywhere NEAR as annoying if it weren't for Mr. Super Potter's ability to get all of his homework done before me AND have enough time to shag Jane silly, oh yes. Jane. Wow, let me rewind.

After that huge spat over White, I had three glorious Potter-nag-free days in which we avoided each other like we always do after huge fights. It was amazing. However, White seemed to have spread the notion that I was an evil psycho-bitch who had physically tried to throttle her, as if she had read my mind. Luckily no one reacted much to this considering almost all of Gryffindor already knew about the spats between Potter and I. Everyone else was pacified by Amos telling them that it wasn't true. People are more inclined to listen to him considering his reputation in comparison to White's.

The rest of that week was a little less pleasant, teachers building up homework after homework, struggling through my transfiguration essay as Potter and White walked by obviously about to do the dirty, with White _giggling_ in that awful girly way. Then she'd just make me mad for the next 2 hours until she left again, walking out often with a ruffled and sweaty Potter, and giggling again, kissing him really nastily right in front of me, before shooting me a glance and finally disappearing out of the portrait. Relieving the angry tension that seems to constrict in my chest whenever she comes into the head's dormitories.

I have no idea why she makes me so angry, but she does, and she knows it. That's the worst part, she knows how pissed off I get and she interprets it as jealousy of her, so she tries to make me extra angry whenever she sees me. If Potter was aware of what she did he sure didn't show it, just let her continue with her antics. Well it certainly made me hate his guts that much more. Bloody wanker.

Anyway, after enduring a full week of White's underhanded methods of annoyance I decided to strike back, but in my way, loud and obvious. One of the nights that they had been shagging upstairs while I was writing an in-depth analysis of how animagi select their animal to turn into, I just broke. I was already stressed out due to all the work, I was functioning on about four hours of sleep, and I was even more sexually frustrated than normal.

Amos is the most teasing ass ever. He gets too antsy and prudish, which I wouldn't have expected from a boy, yet we get much past kissing and he backs off. I mean, come on! We're sitting there snogging and having a good time and if I move my hand any lower than his chest, he freaks and backs off, his face so red that it reaches his ears. He then makes a stupid excuse and hurries away. It drives me mad. Thus I've been unusually horny, to add onto all my other problems, and this one night I was bloody sick of Violet White and I let her have it.

They came down stairs like they always do, Potter with his hair messier than normal, his tie loose and hanging off his neck, his shirt messily re-buttoned. She always was put together, her blouse was always back in place, her skirt never had a single wrinkle, but her hair was messy, the I-just-had-sex kind of messy, and yet it always looked good. That made me mad too, you've just been shagging for the past two bloody hours and you still look good, not fair.

So, they come downstairs and she gives me that look again and giggles really loudly, pointedly trying to get my attention. I ignored her. She tried her second tactic, the sloppy French kiss. When they got to the door, she grabs him and shoves her face into his; he looked mildly surprised and kissed back only within reason. I could tell he felt uncomfortable kissing her in front of me, while I glowered.

Finally she starts making this ridiculous slurping noise and I simply cracked. She had reached my boiling point and successfully set me off, and she was going to pay.

"OK, THAT'S IT! I CAN'T STAND IT ANYMORE! I KNOW THAT YOU ARE A SKANK, WITH POTTER WRAPPED AROUND YOUR LITTLE FINGER BUT THERE'S NO NEED TO ADVERTISE."

They broke the kiss and both turned to look at me, White had a satisfied glint in her eye, before looking scandalized and retorting, "Oh! I'm so sorry Evans, did our little moment of romance upset you? I can understand, you know, girl-to-girl how hard it must be not to be getting any, when you so badly need a shag."

She said this all in the girliest and yet most motherly and sympathetic tone that she could muster. It worked, it drove me even more nuts.

"I do not NEED a shag!" I spouted angrily, without a proper response, "Its YOU that seems to need it so bad, I bet you wouldn't last a WEEK without it!"

I was hoping that she'd take up my dare, but no, I wasn't lucky enough.

"Now Evans, why would I be so foolish to deny myself such an enjoyable activity for a full week if I don't need to. You see, _I_ have nothing to prove, you on the other hand, you seem to be looking for any opportunity to look like less of a loser than you are. Tell me Evans, have you even had sex yet?"

She asked the last with such malice that I was on the verge of tears, Potter however knew that he had to stop this.

"VIOLET. That's enough, leave Evans alone, she has homework she needs to do." He looked at me pointedly as if to say, 'she'll get worse if you retort' and not without a plea in his glance.

I nodded. "Thank you Potter, good evening White."

She simply smiled back in the most aggravating manner. "I thought so." She murmured maliciously.

"Violet…" Potter began.

But I was too fast for him, she had hit a nerve and I was going to settle this thing once and for all, so she couldn't lord it over me later.

"You think you are so special. You think that just because I haven't shagged a boy makes me somehow lower than you? At least I have honor! At least I have a reputation. YOU on the other hand are a downright whore. You know what people say about you, that you'll open your legs for any boy, and that you've slept with half the school. And you know what? It's true, you are a tart and a skank and you just don't care. At least I'm waiting for someone who actually loves me back instead of uses me for a quick shag behind a tapestry or in a broom cupboard. I am not so DESPERATE that I need to make a show over boys to make other girls JEALOUS!"

I was getting in the groove, getting really riled up now, "AT LEAST I HAVE SOME COMMON DECENCY INSTEAD OF PARADING AROUND LETTING EVERY BLOKE I MEET GET A PEAK DOWN MY BLOUSE OR DRAPING MYSELF ALL OVER THEM HOPING TO GET A QUICK SHAG BEFORE LUNCH! YES WHITE, I HOPE YOU'RE PROUD THAT YOU ARE A WHORE. YOU. ARE. A. WHORE!"

She continued to look scandalized throughout my yelling, but she was loosing the self-satisfied grin, getting more and more upset, until by the end she was on the verge of tears. When I hissed out the last few words about her being a whore, she just broke down.

"I-I-I'm NOT a whore." She bit out at last, trembling. "A-a-and Jamsie loves me way more than Diggory loves you! D-d-don't you J-Jamsie? DON'T YOU?"

Potter looked extremely uncomfortable and shot me a death glare. "Uh, well, I…"

She glared at him through tears and running make-up.

"Of course I do Violet, of course I love you." He looked at me again, and I knew he was going to get me back later.

I was ready, through all my anger and frustration and stress I NEEDED to yell again and I really wanted to yell at him, because it was guaranteed that he would yell back, which always made me feel better.

"Ok, darling, it doesn't matter, you can ignore the mean things Evans said…" White seemed to be calming down somewhat and she hugged him close to her while still glaring at me.

"You're not making me jeal-ous!" I said in a singsong voice.

Potter glared at me again. And she burst into tears again.

"BITCH" she spat before shoving Potter away from her and running out the door.

He sighed and messed with his hair again before rounding on me. I was sill standing reveling in the glory of my victory. He looked a mixture of angry and exasperated. But I could see that he too needed to yell a bit and I was gearing up for a good long argument.

"Before you say anything Potter, she provoked me!" I said throwing up my defenses.

"EVANS!" He burst out. "DON'T YOU GET IT? I DON'T GIVE A BLOODY FUCK ABOUT VIOLET. YES, SHE _IS _A WHORE, ISN'T THAT ENOUGH FOR YOU? PLEASE EVANS, JUST LEAVE US ALONE!"

I was ready for him, despite how pleased that comment made me. He was much more defensive of her in the last spat which meant that he was already gearing up to throw her over, he always emotionally detached from a girl he was about to dump.

"OK, IF YOU REALLY DON'T CARE THEN WHY STOP US FROM ARGUING, WHY DOES IT MATTER TO YOU? SHE HAS BEEN DRIVING ME _MAD_ WITH THAT STUPID GIGGLE, LOOKING AT ME, SLURPING, PUTTING ON A SHOW. SHE'S TRYING TO MAKE ME JEALOUS, AS IF I'D EVER BE JEALOUS OF YOUR SHAG OF THE WEEK! I JUST WANTED HER TO FUCK OFF! I WAS BEING CIVIL, FOR THE PAST WEEK I HAVEN'T SAID A WORD, BUT THIS, IT WAS THE LAST STRAW I JUST _HAD_ TO TELL HER THE TRUTH."

He looked a little thunderstruck, and then to my horror, a huge grin spread across his face.

"She got to you." He said, that maddening grin now plastered on his face. "She got under Evans' hide. I've never seen you so angry with any of my birds. You know Evans for someone who claims that she isn't jealous, you're sure acting like it."

I glowered. " I am NOT jealous."

He continued to smile at me.

"Sure you aren't. I must say Evans, I didn't know that your cherry hasn't been popped, I assure you, it makes you all the more alluring."

"ARGH! THAT'S LOW!" I screeched. My face heating up, so that I knew my skin was beginning to match my hair.

His grin didn't fade, " Well, it depends how low…"

"YOU…" I launched myself at him.

Now normally I am not one to resort to violence, however I was soo sexually frustrated and soooo stressed that a little catfight wouldn't have done me any harm. Not to mention Potter wouldn't dare hurt me in return, however he was so much stronger than me, not to mention his reflexes are ridiculous, that I wouldn't have stood a chance, I didn't think of that at the time.

He looked shocked for about two seconds then with a speed that I hadn't even thought possible of him, he prevented my fists from even coming near his face, grabbing my hands, spinning me around and pinning them such that I would have had as much of a chance of escaping from a straight jacket. He let out a rumbling, deep-throated laugh that I could feel through my back, which was pressed up against his chest.

He continued to laugh as I let out another scream of frustration and tried to free myself from his vice-like grip. Finally after doing all that I could and only getting more guffaws from the resident arse, I stopped trying to fight. I took a few gasping breaths. Before finally admitting, "Fine. You win."

He went rigid for a moment, probably with shock. "Did I just hear what I think I heard?" He asked the back of my head, incredulously.

"Yes." I said irritably, "you win, you're stronger and faster, and I can't move, you win, now please let me go."

He chuckled again and leaned around my right shoulder. "And what's my prize?"

The bloke's ability to turn ANYTHING into a sexual reference is absolutely amazing, not that I appreciate it, but its almost a talent. "Me not ripping your head off, now let me go!" I said huffily, trying to sound as threatening as I could considering my position of weakness.

"That's not my idea of a prize. I won fair and square and I'd like to revel in my victory." He whispered into my ear, his face very close to mine so that I could feel his breath on the back of my neck. I couldn't figure out why, but he was getting me all hot and bothered and when he spoke I got another, not completely uncomfortable shiver down my spine. This was NOT good. I wriggled again to try and get free, but he only tightened his grip, chuckling again. "You're not getting out of this that easily."

"Fine, lets settle this like civilized people. I won't yell at White anymore, and I'll promise to accept that you are a manwhore and try to be civil to all the other girls you bring in to shag, and you will let me go right now."

He laughed again. "Nah, you're cute when you're mad. Plus I kind of like our little fights. I was thinking more on the lines of a…kiss." The last word he hissed into my ear, probably trying to seduce me, the idiot.

"There is no way in hell that I will voluntarily kiss you Potter so you better take my last offer or nothing at all."

"I'll wait all night until you kiss me." He growled.

"No"

"So sure Evans?"

"Yes, I'm pretty positive on this one."

"Okay, I can wait."

"ARGH! Just let me go!"

"No"

"Does it have to be on the lips?"

He hesitated at this question, I could tell that he wanted to say yes, it _had_ to be on the lips, however he knew me well enough and I could tell he didn't particularly want to stand there all night after all. However he managed to respond with his usual cheek,

"My my Evans what _were_ you thinking of? Of course if you don't want to kiss me on the _lips_ there are always other locations…"

"I will kiss you on the cheek, and I swear Potter, that is ALL that you are getting."

He sighed. "I guess I'll take what I can get"

He spun me around to face him, a grin still spread across his face. I stole myself for step one of my defeat. I couldn't believe that I was agreeing to do this, it wasn't even that bad, a peck on the cheek, it was more the theory behind it, he had a victory. I pictured a scoreboard in my head, Potter one, Evans Nil. I sighed, and leaned up, placing a light kiss on his cheek.

"There, happy?"

"Come on Evans, you know me well enough that I can never be happy until you say that you'll…"

"I WONT go out with you so don't even bother asking."

He looked a little disappointed, but otherwise remained his cocky self, "G'night Evans, sweet dreams!" He gave me a wink and released me. Then he turned and went up to bed.

That was the second time that he had ruined an argument and I was getting MAD. I was considering waiting till he was asleep and dumping a bucket of ice water over the arse, just to get back at him. I was about to give up the whole idea and go to bed myself, but then I got a little reckless.

Why not?

He always found ways to upset me, pushing boundaries I didn't even think existed, but here he was, totally at my mercy, my chance to get him back just a little, in a way he wouldn't have expected. So I decided I was going to go through with my little plan. I sat down on the couch and waited.

About half an hour later I decided it was probably safe to go upstairs. I conjured up a bucket of water, placing a chilling spell until it was almost ice. I stuck my hand in to check, it was bloody frigid. I was satisfied and levitated it before me as I snuck up his staircase, feeling extremely daring, and partially wishing that I could borrow that invisibility cloak of his. However I really wanted him to know it was me.

I reached his door, my pulse speeding up; I gently pushed open the door and slipped inside, bucket and all. Potter's TV walls were Quidditch player free tonight, and rather than the bright blue skies I had seen when we first looked through the dormitories, there were a huge display of stars etched out around the room and casting a very faint silvery-blue glow around the room.

Potter was in his bed, sound asleep. I was expecting him to look like most boys do when they sleep, splayed out, hair messy, mouth hanging open, you know the type. He was curled up under his covers with a small smile gracing his lips.

I hesitated a moment then brought the bucket of water over his sleeping form, about to tip it when his hand crept up toward the cheek that I had kissed and he murmured "lily" softly into his pillow, his smile widening, before his brow knit together and he rolled over again.

Now I probably should have dumped the water on him anyway, but a normal teenage girl would not normally upend a bucket of ice-cold water over a boy who had just said her name in his sleep and I was no different.

I found it oddly touching, and I couldn't bear to be mean to him after that. The water would have to wait until another night. I waved my wand and the bucket disappeared, along with its contents.

I sighed, looking down at his sleeping form. He rolled over again onto his back. He looked so peaceful, he really was good-looking, I was sort of surprised that I hadn't quite realized how handsome he had become.

This was not the Potter that I once knew, it was a Potter who had changed in all the right ways, and I hated to admit it, but I liked it, I liked him.

I wasn't in love with him or anything silly like that, I could still hate his guts in peace, but I liked having him around to hate. It was the first time I realized that I would miss him after Hogwarts, where else could I find a more willing person to argue with?

I suddenly got the strangest urge to kiss him again. I don't know why, but I really wanted to. I still decided that it would be against my morals to kiss him on the lips, so I settled for leaning down and kissing his forehead.

He stirred and I felt a shot of adrenaline rush through me, what would he say if he found me here? I quietly backed out of the room as fast as I could and ran down the stairs plopping back down in front of my homework, my stomach churning. When he did not pursue me, I felt it was safe to put my things away and go up to bed.

September 20th

**Number of Marauder Pranks**: 3

**Cherry Update**: It's useless, I'm doomed to be an old maid

**Homework status**: swamped

So, if Potter awoke or even noticed that I kissed him, he never said a word about it. I felt a little pleased with myself, though not that I had kissed Potter. That was more like the feeling you get when you break a diet by eating half of a chocolate cake… this guilty defeated sort of thing, not very pleasant to say the least. Yet I somehow felt pleased, like I had a small victory in giving him something he so dearly seemed to want without him knowing. It was my little secret and it made me ever so happy.

Well at least the day started well.

I don't think that it was my fault, but something inside of me, made me think that it really was, and I don't have any good reason to feel guilty about it, but I do. Potter broke up with White. And it was a sorry sight.

I walked into the dorm after having a very pleasant afternoon tea with Amos in the kitchens, then we had gone behind the statue of Narcissus and snogged. That's always a popular spot, because often the statues get a little uncomfortable if students are snogging behind them, but Narcissus is always so wrapped up in himself that it really doesn't bother him.

So we snogged for over an hour and yet again, I begin to make my move, trailing my fingers down his chest, farther down, his breathing gets a little ragged, farther, I reach his navel, he flips.

Bloody hell.

He jumped up and away from me, which didn't work too well since we were in an alcove and we ended up disturbing Narcissus doing his hourly beauty routine, and he got rather pissed off, so we had to move anyway. Amos awkwardly offered to walk me back to my dorm, but I could tell he was uncomfortable so I let him go at the fork in the 4th floor corridor and headed for the head's dorms alone.

Bad idea.

So, I walked down the hall and stood before the painting of the Knight and Maiden not expecting anything to go wrong, or anything else to make my horny, pissed off mood, worse.

The Knight and maiden sat astride their horse as usual but they had their ears pressed into what I supposed was the wall and were listening intently to whatever was currently transpiring behind it. Now I first thought that they were being lewd and listening to Potter and White in the common room. Then I got a little scared and made to go to the library, but then the maiden let out a cackle of laughter and the Knight grunted, "That was low."

I realized whatever was going on, it was NOT shagging and therefore it was safe for me to enter. Or so I thought.

I cleared my throat, loudly. They both turned around. "Oh hello dear!" the maiden tittered, a weird gleam in her eye. "I wouldn't go in if I were you."

I surveyed her skeptically. "They're not…"

She looked scandalized, "heavens no! There's a little, argument."

I stared. No one had arguments with Potter except me. I got a little pissed off. Who had the right to yell at him other than me?

"I'm going in." I said huffily. The knight and maiden exchanged glances.

"My lady, it may not be wise…" The Knight began.

But I had made up my mind. I was in just a bad enough a mood to truly appreciate a good argument, even if it was arguing about who had the right to argue. Damn, I'm dumb sometimes.

So, anyway I foolishly made up my mind to go in, already gearing up to join in the fun, or anger, or whatever you want to call it. The Knight and Maiden stared at me with a mixture of amusement and pity before finally opening the portrait after I had practically screamed "Parley" at them about four times as they tried to persuade me to leave.

I can't deny it was completely and totally my fault that I entered the room of death. The second I stepped in I had to duck a beam of blue light that missed me by millimeters.

"ACK! I WILL NOT SET EYES ON THAT THAT…"

"GET OUT EVANS!"

"BLOODY BITCH!"

"DUCK!"

It took me a moment to realize what was going on. Potter and White were standing on opposite sides of the room both bright red and brandishing wands. White had tears running down her cheeks, her normally pristine hair was out of place and frizzy. She was trembling and sobbing as she shouted at him. I realized that it was her that had thrown the jinx that had missed me.

Potter looked aggravated enough and rather surprised to see me.

"What is going on…" I began. I had to duck again.

"A rather rough break-up, if you must ask." Potter stated still glaring at White.

She heaved another sob and I had to duck a stunner.

"So, a bad time I gather?" I asked.

This was NOT the type of "argument" that I wanted to participate in. As much as I was glad that Potter had dumped White, I immediately sensed the danger zone of a hormonal teenage girl who is upset and wielding a wand. Not to mention the repercussions of my presence. As much as I could tell, at the moment Violet White had it in for me, however I couldn't quite decide who I wanted to win. It would have made me very satisfied if she kicked his egotistical little arse.

"EVANS, YOU HAVE CAUSED ENOUGH DAMAGE, I'M SURE YOU'RE SOO HAPPY, BUT ITS NOT FAIR TO RUB IT IN, AND I WON'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!"

White screeched, throwing a couple more creative curses my way, making me dance and dive for my wand.

"NO!" Potter shouted. "Violet and I will settle this alone, no need to turn this into a duel." He said gesturing for me to pocket my wand.

"HA!" White spat out in a half sob, "SEE! YOU _DO_ LOVE HER MORE THAN ME! YOU'RE PROTECTING HER FROM ME! THE MONSTER! THE WH-WHORE!" She choked on the last word going into another round of loud sobs. She rounded on me and I raised my wand in defense. "THAT'S WHAT HE CALLED ME! A WHORE! JUST LIKE YOU DID! IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT! THAT'S WHY HE'S LEAVING ME! BECAUSE OF OF YOU!" I dodged another curse and threw up a shield to block the next three that she fired at me.

"VIOLET, NO! THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH EVANS." Potter was angry now and jumped in front of me, deflecting another of her curses.

I sidestepped him. "You want to leave me out of this Potter? Then leave me alone. I said some pretty nasty things to her, and I don't regret them-" I deflected another badly aimed hex, " but I wasted my breath, I should have spent it telling you how much of a bloody ARSE you are!"

White let out a screechy laugh. "YOU THINK THAT I DON'T KNOW WHAT WAS GOING ON EVANS? YOU DON'T HAVE TO LIE TO SAVE HIS HIDE, I KNOW WHAT YOU TWO WERE D-DOING BEHIND MY B-BACK!" She now broke into the most hysterical of her sobs yet. I shot a glance at Potter, he obviously had no idea that she suspected us of an affair and had a slightly guilty look of one who has just been accused of something that he really would have liked to do.

"I don't know if you heard me yelling at Potter, but I assure you White, if that's what you hate me for, be appeased, I'd never sleep with Potter if my life depended on it." I stated as calmly and straightforward as I could. She seemed to calm down a bit, but she still fixed me with a death glare.

"EVANS YOU HAVE RUINED EVERYTHING! I HOPE YOU ARE HAPPY! I HOPE YOU ENJOY YOU'RE LITTLE VICTORY! I THINK IT IS SICK TAKING PLEASURE IN OTHER PEOPLE'S PAIN, BUT YOU SEEM TO LIKE IT, I HOPE YOUR SNOOTY VIRGIN ARSE ENJOYS IT!"

"VIOLET." Potter began walking towards her menacingly. "This is NOT because of Evans. This is because I don't like you. I am sick of being around you. I am sick of your overpowering perfume, your cherry lip gloss, that disgusting little laugh, the looks you give other girls to make them jealous, playing fake stupidity, the padded push-up bras, the layers of make-up. And I HATE that you make me look like a loser because you are so easy. I agree with Evans, Violet you ARE a WHORE."

He said all of this carefully and slowly, driving each word in one by one, giving her time to let out a little scream of anguish or another horrified sob. It was cruel, even I thought it was cruel and I agreed with everything he said. The trouble was as much as I didn't like her, I didn't want him to win, so I felt my heart going out to her as she let out a final screaming cry and collapsed on the floor sobbing into the carpet.

"Face it Violet, we're over." He said to her shaking form, a little more kindly. "Look, do you want me to get you back to your dormitory…" He laid a hand on her shoulder but she shook him off and screeched, "GET AWAY FROM ME!"

He sighed and gave me that, 'I did what I could' kind of look. However what he did next seemed really inconsiderate. He looked between us, apparently done with the argument, gave me a small nod and strode out of the door. I figured he was going to get a bite to eat, but I wouldn't have been surprised if he walked in with a new girl a few hours later.

Great.

Now I was left alone with a sobbing White. She really did look pitiful.

I didn't like her, but seeing how he handled that break-up I suddenly felt really sorry for her. It was obvious that she was attached to him. Or at least the idea of him. He was handsome and popular, dating him had been her little social victory, and loosing him was more shameful than I had first realized.

I bent down. "Erm…Violet…I…uh…I'm sorry."

She kept on crying as if she hadn't heard me. Well I couldn't just let her sit there that would be cruel. So I plucked up my courage and placed a hand on her quaking back.

"Would you like to come sit down? I can call a pot of tea." I was expecting another outbreak but instead she nodded mutely and continued to cry. I helped her up and guided her onto one of the couches, then sat down next to her.

"If it makes you feel any better I really didn't mean any of it."

"O-o-of w-what?" she sniffled.

"Of all that crap I said to you."

"Of course you m-meant it. W-why would you s-say it then? Its okay, you are r-right about me, I am a wh-whore." She sniffled again.

"No you're NOT." I said forcefully, going into mothering mode. "You just need to change your image a bit, is all."

"R-really?" She asked me, through red puffy eyes. Her make-up had run off and I never thought she looked better.

"Sure." I said gently, "Here." I held out a tissue.

"Th-thanks." She muttered, dabbing at her eyes and hiccupping when she saw all the make-up smeared on to it.

"Just take the lot off." I said. She did. I waited patiently as she rubbed off all of her make-up and conjured a mirror for her to see. "Not so bad after all?" I asked her.

She smiled at her reflection and back at me. Then she seemed to realize that she was being comforted by the evil psycho bitch virgin Evans. Her eyes narrowed for a moment and she stared at me.

"Why are you doing this?" she asked me.

"Because I am not as much of an evil psycho-bitch as you thought." I said with a grin. "And I hate Potter."

She smiled. "Me too."

"I've got loads of awful stories if you want to hear them." I said excitedly, I LOVE complaining about Potter with other people, I rarely get an opportunity to do so. She grinned at the proposition.

"Okay, let's hear them then. I've got a few to add you know." I stared at her. What horrible dirty secrets of Potter's bedchamber was I about to hear? Perhaps it wasn't so bad to be nice to Violet White after all.

We spent the next two hours swapping Potter stories and enjoying a strong pot of Lady Grey and crumpets. She finally departed around ten saying she really needed to get to bed. I agreed and as I watched her go I marveled at the fact that just a few hours ago I was dodging hexes from a blubbering idiot, and now I had befriended a spunky, if not a little dim, girl.

Now thanks to Potter's dumping prowess, I had found a new friend in Violet White.

Thanks everyone for sticking around after soooo long. I would have given up long ago. So, you have all rights to rant and rave at me, as long as you do not flame, you are welcome to express your annoyance in the form of a review! Anyway, hope everyone is having a good summer thus far. I will be updating soon as I finally have…GASP… time!

So, reviews would be greatly appreciated, and stick around the update should be along soon.

-Prongspal


	9. And the diagnosis is: Horny

Ok, here it is I've updated. Exciting, no? This chapter is a bit short, but I promise more exciting stuff will happen soon! Pinky swear. I'll shut up, just read and enjoy!

Chapter 9

**Marauder Pranks**: 3 decreasing! … maybe

**Cherry Update**: As if I were that lucky

**Number of Girls that Potter has shagged in the last week and a half:** 6…wait, no… 7 I think.

October 4th

So, I have been a lot happier with life recently, though I can't fathom why.

Well, on the bright side, Violet and I have had a lot of laughs spreading awful Potter rumors. These were only squelched when Potter threatened to tell the whole school that I was a virgin. Well, its not like I'm ashamed or anything, but I don't exactly need anyone else to know. People put a shockingly large value in being deflowered by their sixth year. In fact, by Hogwarts standards, I am already behind. And I don't have a reputation that matches Violet's, but I have kissed almost every hot boy in the school, and I suppose that if people were to discover that I hadn't shagged a single one of them… or for that matter that I haven't yet shagged Amos, well it's a bit of a shortcoming. It infers that I can't even get my bloody boy friend to shag me, and if that isn't pathetic, I don't know what is.

Now I mentioned Jane earlier. She is now enjoying the status of Potter's second longest relationship, they lasted a whopping six days. Violet is a little pacified if not slightly pleased at the fact that she was longest with 17 days.

Potter is ridiculous, the rate he goes through birds. And breaks each of their hearts. He even likes each one less, sometimes only dating one for a day.

This morning I woke up to see him escorting Harriet to breakfast, just to walk in this evening to see him snogging Sarah. Then of course yesterday he was with Jane all day, the same Jane from last week yet shagged Mary last night.

I'm bloody sick of it, but on the bright side I never have to deal with any individual girl, or her cheek for more than a day or two. Also, my new friendship with Violet has flourished.

She has been particularly mean to Potter whenever she sees him and he's having more trouble getting Ravenclaw girls due to a couple extra nasty rumors that she spread.

I am very proud of what I have done for Violet White.

First off, I told her honestly when her emotions were normalized that she kinda was a whore and that a lot of it had to do with her image. She _looked_ more like a whore than she was. Weird thing was, Potter was actually only her second shag, she'd dated a bunch of boys, kissed half of the school, maybe gave a couple head, but really, he was just her second! Well after hearing that, I decided I was going to fix Violet White and allow her to rejoin normal social society.

First thing was the outfit. I had her button up her shirt so that her bosom was not attempting a desperate escape. I had her wear her skirt at a normal length, and of course actually wear her tie for once in a lifetime. She looked a lot better.

I had her take off all the unnecessary make-up and that nasty lip-gloss. A little shadow and some clear gloss was all that she needed to look pretty but not sluty. Now with her appearance returned to normal, I had her pay attention in class rather than flirting with boys, and of course NOT be found halfway down a corridor making out with a different bloke every day.

She seemed a little resistant to these requests but she did as I suggested, and within a week she had normalized. She was no longer that slag that Potter dumped last week, but rather, that pretty girl from Ravenclaw, Evans' friend.

I was proud. But my greatest success came when Michael Brown, a Gryffindor asked her out without any provocation on her part, or any show, just because he liked her.

She hasn't stopped talking about him since, yet I have not once seen them snogging in a public place. I feel that my duty to the world has been done. Well not quite… Potter is still alive and shagging, horny blighter. The worst part about it is I _am_ a little jealous,

I'm seriously getting so bloody horny that I feel like I'd shag anyone, or anything. Violet and Gwen think it's the most hilarious thing in the world.

That too, Gwen was perfectly happy to accept Violet into our fold once she was purged of her skankiness. However, I realized that I am now the only virgin out of all my friends, if Alice and Frank have gone as far as I think they have… ooh.

That's a story to tell.

You see, yesterday it was a Sunday, a weekend, plenty of time to sleep in for once, do some homework, enjoy the grounds while its still warm, and search out friends to chat with. It would have been a perfect day, but life has decided that I don't deserve those anymore.

Unfortunately I had no idea that so many Hogwarts students shag on Sunday afternoons.

My first victim of afternoon tea was to be Gwenog Jones my dear charming friend of 6 years who has been there for me without fail Merlin knows how many times, when I am in desperate need of a girl talk. However yesterday, it was not to be. I had figured that I would be able to corner Gwen or Alice at least, in the 7th year girl's dormitories and entice at least one of them to join me in the heads dorms for a cup of tea.

Alas, I can be_ such_ a fool sometimes.

So I happily swung through the Gryffindor portrait hole to a warm welcome from the fat lady who seemed to have missed me, and into a common room full of other familiar faces that did not look twice at me.

Well at least a fat woman in a silly pink dress misses me… can you say lame?

Well it was a comfort to be back in ye old common room, it was actually rather nice seeing a room full of people, ours is large and beautiful, but a little empty.

I sidled past Remus and Pettigrew, who were entranced by a game of exploding snap. Pettigrew was whimpering as he slowly placed a card on top and let out the girliest shriek I have ever heard when it blew up in his face. Remus roared with laughter, putting out Pettigrew's flaming eyebrows for him.

Chuckling, I passed them and made my way up the girl's staircase.

When I reached the landing that belonged to the 7th year girls I was about to just walk in, but the door was locked and when a bedroom door is locked, smart people do not just burst in.

However curiosity got the better of me, and I pressed my ear up against the door and what I heard will probably scar my memory forever more. There were bangs and pants and cries of pleasure, most of the same uncomfortable sounds that I heard when Potter forgot a silencing charm, only trouble was, I really didn't need to know who was behind that door, however as I was doomed to have a bad day, before I could turn away I heard Alice's voice shout "Frank!" and a slight shiver of disgust went down my spine.

It's nasty enough to hear one's arch nemesis going at it, but one's best friend, now that's just upsetting. I was thoroughly shaken as I headed down the stairs feeling guilty and disgusted.

I met Remus and Pettigrew now involved in a game of chess, and Remus was whipping Pettigrew's arse; as always.

I decided to try the boy's staircase, Gwen was often on their side, mostly because she could and she liked rubbing it in their faces, but she and Black also were starting to team up to execute some of the pranks that Potter was absent for, most likely due to his outrageous sex life.

So as I began my ascent of the boy's staircase, I vaguely heard Remus say

"Lily DON'T-"

But as we are constantly reminded of my stupidity I chose to ignore him.

Bad idea.

Foolish, stupid, inane, idiotic idea.

You see the 7th year boy's dorm was _not_ locked. I should have known that boys just don't think of these things, I should have realized that the tie on the door meant something. I should have tuned away due to the now-familiar sounds emitting from the room…

But it is silly to think about what I should have done, the point is what I DID do was awful.

I swung open the door happily prancing into the room saying "Padfoot! Doggy Breath! Blackyboy!"

I was stopped mid-prance by the sight before my eyes.

Sirius Black was naked and sweaty and clearly in the middle of a very good shag. This was all completely normal, though I had never actually walked in on him shagging anyone, it was not this that disturbed me, it was the tangled mass of limbs and hormones below him that was clawing at his back and crying his name…Gwen.

She had told me that she was shagging a ridiculously hot guy, but had refused to tell me who, now I understood completely. Apparently she had NO qualms about cheating on Lockheart if she could get into Black's bed.

Granted, he is bloody gorgeous, but like Potter, I wouldn't shag him if my life depended on it.

Now, most normal people would screech and try to hide the fact that they are oh…naked and hmm…shagging! But not Sirius Black.

He paused and looked up at me when I came in and rather than looking scared, or guilty or scandalized, he looked thoroughly pleased with himself.

"Well if it isn't Lilly Billy! Wow, I wouldn't have thought you were that kinky, but hey, if you want to join in the fun, Prongs doesn't need to know that I popped your cherry!"

I stared at him a moment aghast. Then Gwen gave me a shameless wry smile and said with a strangely normal voice,

"You know Lils, as I doubt that you will wish to take Sirius up on his offer and we have scarred your mind for probably the rest of your life, I think that now would be the appropriate time for you to back out of the room with a look of horror on your face and let us finish our fun in peace."

She grinned and waited for me to move. I stood in shock for another moment then promptly turned on my heel and left the sound of Black's barking laugh and Gwen's squeal of delight at he resumed his activities resumed rang in my ears as I dashed down the stairs.

I came skidding out and plopped down in a chair next to Remus my mind reeling,

"Merlin's beard that was horrific!" I stated breathlessly.

"Checkmate." He replied.

"Oh, ha ha –" I began, but of course he was not speaking to me, but to Pettigrew and was now enjoying his 3rd victory over Pettigrew with grim satisfaction. He then turned to look at me.

"My dear Lily, you can't say I didn't warn you. Although I'm sure you were quite disturbed by what you saw…" he smiled kindly at me.

"It wasn't the _act_ that was scarring but…Gwen and and….Black!" I rounded on him.

"You knew about it didn't you?" I demanded of him.

He shrank back into his seat a little. "Maybe…"

I was considering getting angry with him, but I figured that it was useless, plus I felt that I should reserve my anger for Potter. I really did make a point of yelling only at him when it was possible. I figured if everyone else was off shagging he most definitely would be, so I could get all riled up at him, it would calm my now very frazzled nerves.

It really is not pleasant being horny and deprived. I have had a fear that Gwen will slip me a love potion one of these days to get me deflowered by Merlin knows who, but I've been careful not to drink anything she gives me, she is brewing a love potion for Slughorn after all, so its not like it would be all that hard to come by.

I inwardly decided to do everything I could to get Amos to go a little further, I've gotten truly fed up with his gentlemanly bullshit.

When I returned to the common room, I was not surprised to see Potter was missing and his door was locked; go figure. It was only sitting aimlessly in a couch on the far side of the head's common room and staring around me that I saw it, a small black diary sitting on one of the tables.

Curious, I got up to look at it. It had no markings on the outside, but when I opened it up a shocking thing met my eyes. On the inside cover was a large picture of Black in which he was standing and grinning up at me, occasionally changing position and moving around as if to figure out which position he looked best in. Above this was written, "Sirius' diary" in flowery neon pink letters.

I laughed openly at his grinning face. The Black in the picture looked up at me and scowled before pulling out a mirror and preening himself. I was amused, and curious, Sirius Black's diary in my hands? What deep secrets was I about to uncover? Were there detailed plans of his pranks? Any information on his weaknesses? Or even better, any good blackmail on Potter? I quickly flipped to the last entry and began to read.

**Today – This week – I think its October…**

8:16 am

God I'm hot

12:45 pm

I really am a devilishly good-looking blighter

3:22 pm

Shagged Jones in the 6th floor broom cupboard, loads of fun. Am such a sexy bastard.

6:08 pm

Went for three hours without a mirror, my hair got all mussed up and Prongs didn't tell me, little fucker.

10:34 pm

Brought Jones up to dorm and shagged 3 more times…

1:14am

God I'm hot

3:42am

I'm not sure if I've ever set eyes on a living creature that looks better at four in the morning than I do.

5:26 am

GOD I AM SO BLOODY HOT

7:39 am

I'm still bloody smoking even in the wee hours of the morning, Sirius Black: 1, rest of the world: 0

8:23 am

Went to breakfast and got three swoons, six smiles and a giggle. Also got hand job under the table from Jones, very pleasant way to start the day.

10:16 am.

By Merlin's beard and all things magical I am almost too good-looking to bear.

I stared at the page. The little egotistical wanker had nothing to do but write about his attractiveness, completely unhelpful, except the seriously disturbing information about his and Gwen's sex life… (No pun intended)

I riffled through a couple more pages but it was all the same, Sirius Bloody Black is God's blessing to humankind! It proved that idiots came in pairs, I had no quarrel with Black, but my faith in his intelligence and my approval of his little "relationship" with Gwen dropped significantly.

I decided to wait till later to attack Potter again, but my horniness is so detrimental to my mood that it is almost impossible to keep myself in check without having him in front of me to scream at.

The only trouble is, he is so good-looking in his own right, it might just drive me more nuts. The fact that my hormones disagree with my morals might be too much to handle. I've decided to do my homework in my room tonight; it will keep me safe for now…

-_Lily_

So thanks everyone for holding tight. I'm not sure how often I'll be able to update cause I have a pretty tight schedule this summer, but I'll do what I can! Please let me know if you liked it! Reviews are ever so appreciated, loved; cherished, adored… you know the gist.

-Prongspal


	10. There's a first time for everything

Hello all! Wow, it has been a LONG time since I updated this thing. And I must say that this particular chapter has been months in the making, which is probably why it is so long. I have just resurfaced from the most stressful fall of my life, and college apps didn't help. Writing just wasn't an option, so sorry. But now that I have time again, gasp I'm hoping to finish this thing up before the end of the school year, so have faith folks, I have not completely dropped out of the universe! So, as always reviews are appreciated, and enjoy!

Chapter 10 – There's a first time for everything

October 21st

**Marauder Pranks:** No longer important

**Cherry Update:** ugh, I don't want to talk about it

**Shame-o-meter: **10 and climbing…

You know, there should really be a medication for horny teens. Not just cause it's annoying or anything like that, but horniness can lead to some very unwise decisions and some unfortunate circumstances. In fact, there should be a medication for desperation too, and a good strong dose for feeling lame. I have been known to be a bit dim here and there, but the events of the last three weeks are due to some of my greatest stupidity yet. After the unfortunate events that I witnessed in the common room a few Sundays ago, I decided that I really did need to get laid. It was then that I launched Mission: Get Amos To Stop Being A Total Prude And Fuck Me Already. I decided that GATSBATPAFMA was a little long, so I have since shortened it to Mission: Get Lily Laid or GLL.

Well GLL began perfectly wonderfully. I had cornered Amos in our head's common room on a lovely autumn afternoon; I did this by sealing the door behind me. He wasn't going to get away so easily this time. So we had begun the whole snogging thing, which is fun and all, but no great shakes. I tend to over look Amos' weaknesses because I am so thankful that I even have a bloody boyfriend to snog. Anyway, so there we were, snogging away having fun, and once more I start unwinding my hands from his hair. He didn't respond negatively so I continued my intended aim of getting my hands within a mile of his nether regions. I let them trail down the back of his neck, over his shoulders and onto his chest. He seemed to actually like it, and he began to make this weird grunting sound, which I interpreted as a good sign. I continued to let my hands roam over to the buttons on his shirt. I was amazed when he didn't stop me. I began to work my way down the bloody shirt, and I finally reached the last button with no major protests or exclamations from my so-called lover.

Well, that was the point when I got a little carried away… erm, lets just say that a minute or two later he sat there in his undershirt his eyes the size of saucers staring at me holding the remains of what had been his pristine shirt just a minute before. "Er, I'm sorry?" I supplied, holding up the tattered remnants of his former garment. He continued to stare at me for a moment, and there I was looking like a complete idiot waiting for him to go storming out. But instead he suddenly reached out and tugged me, rather forcefully toward him, and the next thing I knew he was snogging the wits out of me. This was not something I was used to from pretty-boy Amos so I figured it was a good thing. But you see, my assumptions are almost never right. I've learned that the hard way. So there we were snogging more passionately than I had ever snogged in my life, and I almost didn't notice that he was tugging my sweater off, and going for my shirt…

That was when the trouble began, again.

It was just our luck that Potter had a squabble with his girl friend of the hour during their shagging and they had quit their activities much earlier than I had banked on. Normally if the door to Potter's room was locked, then he wouldn't resurface until at least six o'clock. So of course on this one particular afternoon around four-ish, Mr. Potter and Jane appeared coming down the stairs, they were rather bitter at the moment and were snapping at one another, at least their 6th break-up wasn't nearly as fearsome as the Violet episode. However we had the misfortune to be caught in our compromising position (Amos shirtless, me just in my bra, and our limbs tangled together on the couch), by an already irritable Potter.

"Yeah of course I shag other birds Jane, don't think you're the only one."

"How dare you James! We were together again, us, a couple, not just fuck buddies"

"Same difference"

"Argh! You bastard"

"Ooh, I'm sooo hurt!"

"You are an insensitive little prick, I don't understand what I saw in you, you'll NEVER be shagging me again!"

"You'll be begging to have me back by the end of next week"

"You know, you're egotistical too. You are nowhere near perfect James; you're starting to tarnish your own sterling reputation, the Casanova who goes around breaking hearts. Ha! I see what Evans means about you now, slimy git."

"I've heard worse. You're no match for Evans, and she's a hell of a lot better looking than you are-"

I didn't hear the rest of what he said because the conversation was very abruptly cut off when he stopped and stared at Amos and myself in our aforementioned compromising position. There was a split second in which none of us did anything. Then I did what was right and proper in this situation, I shrieked and grabbed my sweater off of the floor, holding it up in front of my almost naked torso. I watched Potter, his eyes were a little glazed as he stared at me, but then he seemed to register that Amos was sitting beside me, still resolutely bare-chested and glaring back at him.

"What the bloody hell do you think you are doing?" Potter demanded in a quiet simmer.

"Well, we were about to shag actually, but you seem to be good at ruining other people's happy moments." Amos said coldly.

Jane smirked. I couldn't believe it. I had never seen or heard Amos like this, since when had he chucked the whole "gentleman" thing out the window?

"Get out." Potter said quietly. Amos didn't move a muscle. "Get OUT!" He repeated, pulling out his wand as he advanced toward us.

"I've as much right to be sitting here as you do, Lily let me in, you've got your shag of the week, and the head girl can't have her boyfriend in her common room. Bloody unfair if you ask me. Now Potter I have no quarrel with you, just walk your little _date_ out and leave us in peace." Now I was partially pleased with Amos' cheek and partially peeved, it was MY job to upset Potter, not his.

And he seemed to have gotten on Potter's bad side. Now I have been around Potter long enough to know the tell tale signs of when he is in a rage. It is usually my cue to start screaming at him. In fact, it tends to be an invitation to be particularly cruel. You see, when Potter is REALLY angry, he gets all riled up, and if I can match his fury, then we can both say whatever the hell we want and attribute it to our fiery passion.

So when I saw his body get tense, his knuckles whiten as they gripped his wand, his eyes narrow, and his ears getting red, I knew that something bad was going to happen. When I fight Potter, he would never intentionally hurt me, so I'm never that worried, its usually just words, and occasionally a few harmless hexes. But I knew that he was about to provoke Amos into a duel, and boys take their fights very seriously, I was getting nervous, there could be casualties in this duel.

"Um, Amos, perhaps we could just go upstairs and-"

"No! Lily, since when did you let him walk all over you, since when did you let him win. There's no need to back down to him, he's just a stuffed up selfish prick. You know Potter, I respected you once, but now you've lost all my respect. You are a fool and an arse. Women should not be treated this way, and if I hear that you lay even a finger on Lily, I will personally find you and kill you."

"I am at the end of my patience Diggory, I'm giving you one more chance, you can get up and leave now and I won't hex you. But one more word and there's no telling what I'll do." Potter said in a cool, tense voice.

"Try me." Was all Amos said, he dived for his wand in his pocket and I knew instinctively it was time to get out of the way. Still clutching my sweater to my front I scrambled off the couch and went to go tug Jane away from the oncoming battle, she had NO idea what was about to happen and as much as I disliked her I didn't want to drag three people down to the hospital wing.

The ensuing duel was a really unfortunate thing to behold. Potter was certainly faster, and more creative in his spell work. Amos was consistent and smart, sticking to some of the more typical but no less damaging spells. Well long story short, after the first volley of spells were shot, Jane tugged out of my grip, ran between the flashes of multi-colored light, thankfully unhurt, out of the portrait. Amos cackled.

"There goes your little tart, running for the door!" he called as he shot another spell. Potter ducked and sent a purple blast of light in Amos' direction. His spell went ricocheting off the wall and I had to drop to the floor to avoid getting hit.

"She's not MY tart, I just hooked up with her." He replied calmly despite the situation.

"Just another name on the list of broken hearts. Tell me Potter, do you keep a tally above your bed, or do you have a record book?" Amos jeered back.

"You'll probably get a more reliable list from one of the girls, I can never keep track of them" Potter said nonchalantly dodging a jet of green. I had to hand it to him, he could keep his cool when he wanted to, and it was pissing off Amos that he wasn't getting anywhere with his insults. I realized that I had never seen Potter worked up by anyone else but me. I got a strange swell of pride at the thought. Only I could get to him, only I could get under the famous Potter's skin.

Well, about an hour later, I found myself sitting in a chair between two beds in the hospital wing, Amos on one side and Potter on the other. If I had to judge the winner, I would have to concede that Potter won the duel. He was in a lesser state of damage. Amos was currently unconscious and he looked awful. He was a deep shade of puce, there were a number of toadstools growing out of his nostrils, and there were angry red boils sporadically covering his body. Potter on the other hand was awake and still had his normal skin color. He did have a large gash across his face, his ears had grown to about three times their normal size, and one of his arms was an umbrella. Now I sat in extreme irritation debating over whether I found this incident tragic, embarrassing, infuriating, or bloody hilarious.

Potter seemed to find it pretty funny. He kept opening and closing the umbrella that was currently attached to his body where his right arm was supposed to be. He even conjured a little rain cloud similar to the one I had woken him with a few weeks before and opened the umbrella-arm to keep me dry.

"Now Evans, after seeing my great dueling skills, I'm sure you've fallen even deeper in love with me." He said clicking the umbrella for effect.

"Oh yes, I like my men to have waterproof extremities."

He laughed at this. Not a mocking laugh, or a teasing one, but a general appreciation for a good joke laugh. It was nice hearing it. He had a musical ring to his real laugh that I couldn't help but smile at. He did look sort of endearing, umbrella and all.

"My my Evans, now look who's cracking the jokes." He said, looking at me as if he had never seen me before. After his chuckles died down a bit, he became serious, well, not literally… (Argh I hate that pun).

"I am sorry Evans. To just go off on him like that. He does have the right to be there, it just irks me. But I was in a bad mood and you know all too well what happens when I get really annoyed."

"Yes, I know quite well. At least you didn't do any real damage." I replied. He looked at me, glanced at my purple, boil and fungus covered boyfriend, and looked at me once more before bursting into laughter all over again.

"That's some real damage if I've ever seen it. You know that hex isn't removable. He'll be purple for the next few days." He gasped out after his laughter had subsided once more. I tried desperately to suppress a smile.

A very well crafted hex indeed, the boy could think on his feet, I had to give him that.

As silly as it sounds, I can't quite suppress the glee of having two boys duel over me. Well, I don't know if it was all about me, but I was the main subject over which they were fighting and that is good enough for me.

After that little episode there was a good deal of teasing and taunting about Amos' color. I, being his girlfriend had to take a number of these, even from those who I had trusted would understand my plight. However, the next time I saw Gwen, she was with Black and the two of them were in hysterics before I could explain the situation. Potter had gotten a few compliments for his spell-work, after all when any sort of duel occurs, the entire school seems to know about it within a day or two, so it wasn't surprising that he was getting all his normal attention ten-fold.

When Amos' color had finally returned to normal (excepting a purplish tinge in his cheeks) and he was no longer being jeered at in the halls, he was ready to get back at Potter.

A large public humiliation like his was enough for any Hogwarts student to want to take their revenge, but Amos seemed to think that Potter had crossed some boundary of gentlemanly behavior, or official dueling rules, etc. I don't know exactly what the technicality of it was, he was raving so much and his facing was starting to go purple again, so I ended up having to stay silent to prevent myself from laughing at him.

Anyway, I don't know how, when or why he got it into his head, but Amos seemed to have figured that there was only one proper way to get back at Potter, and that was with an equally vast public slap in the face. He decided that to succeed in his revenge he would have to rub in Potter's face the one and only thing that Potter could not have or achieve; me.

Yes, Amos thought that if he were to pop my cherry (to put it plainly) that he would be doing the one thing Potter had longed to do but couldn't. I am not so sure that's true, but Amos was determined. He came to me with a request, but not a question. He wanted to go at it, and he wanted to get caught. Now this idea was wholly unappealing to me, but seeing as I was interested in getting at Potter, showing the school that I was not some cold virgin, and not to mention being desperately horny, I made the idiotic decision to go along with Amos' little plan.

Stupid, stupid, stupid Lily. Will I EVER learn?

When I went to meet Amos the next morning over breakfast he imparted the plan to me, in a series of detailed steps. His first concern was that it could not be Potter that discovered us shagging, it would have to be some gossipy girl who would go and tell everybody the second that she laid eyes on us. We also didn't want one of Potter's little "girlfriends" to find us, cause she/he/it would go straight to Potter with the news.

No, Amos wanted someone who would be thrilled to spread it far and wide. Well, a couple minutes later I found myself strategizing on the best way in which to lure Rita Skeeter into our abandoned classroom at the critical moment. I really am a dolt sometimes…

Eventually we had to ask Gwen to give her the tip-off at an appointed time, and send her our way at half past four o'clock. Gwen found the entire plan ridiculously funny and was more than obliging to do her part. I was inwardly hoping she would condemn it and help me wiggle out of this embarrassing situation, but no, she just grinned and agreed to aid in my impending social nightmare.

Now what I am about to write is so utterly pathetic that I am already feeling ridiculous just putting it on paper. Its like I'm verifying exactly how my brain cells seemed to have all burned out simultaneously at one moment and they are only coming back to life now.

I think that I'm still blaming Potter for this entire incident, because through all this mess it is still technically his fault. If he wasn't such an arse I would have gotten laid much sooner than this, if he hadn't threatened to castrate Amos, the latter would not have been so hell-bent upon committing the act in public, and if Potter hadn't been such a manwhore, I wouldn't have been jealous or competitive or horny enough to go through with Amos' insane plan.

Merlin help me now.

So it was that I woke on Thursday morning with a feeling in my stomach that was a mix of apprehension, disgust, and the cold thrill of doing something ridiculously naughty. Every time I set eyes on Rita Skeeter that day I felt a little lurch somewhere above my navel as though the little food I'd managed to eat was about to clear out of my system in one feel swoop.

At lunch Amos sidled over and whispered in my ear where and when we were to meet. He even had the audacity to suggest that I wear my naughtiest underwear. If it were just to be us I would have thought it was kinda kinky, but considering that we were going to be seen by the general public, I felt like I was some sort of trophy girlfriend on display…in my knickers.

Anyway, I didn't know it then, but he had brought along a vial of love potion (he and Gwen had finished it in Potions the day before to Slughorn's delight). Well being the idiot that I was, I was so flustered by his comment that I didn't notice him slipping it into my goblet.

I know Gwen saw it. I was truly peeved to find out that Gwen saw it. She seemed to think that it was funny, bloody little cunt. Well, she wasn't such a terrible person in the end, she did bring along an antidote after all, and its what saved me from an additional bout of humiliation. I still want to fry her arse, but I'll forgive her. Amos on the other hand…

Yes, I was drugged. As if my impending doom were bad enough, I was going into it drugged, as a disgustingly obsessive, slobbering, lunatic claiming to be madly in love with Amos Diggory. I'm still mad at everyone who had a hand in this. But so it was, at noon that day I was fed a love potion and within a few minutes I was reduced to a simpering, saddening and gooey mess of a human being.

Now being under the influence of a love potion is a lot like being drunk, except you only think about one thing: the object of your affection. I have difficulty describing this state of being because it seems so ridiculous now, but here goes. It was as if my senses had been dulled, excluding focus or interest on anything but Amos. And there he was standing before me, his skin had never looked so smooth, his hair was perfect, his smile shone like the brightest star in the sky, and his body seemed to be emitting a golden glow. It was as if I had a god standing in front of me, and I wasn't allowed to shag him until four o'clock??? Just moments before, as I vaguely and perplexedly recalled, I had been dreading the moment, but now enveloped in this sudden euphoria I could think of nothing but the moment that was approaching in a few hours time, and now each minute seemed like an hour.

I somehow made it through my lessons of the day with no major catastrophes. This is where Gwen's kindness came into play, she used a silencing charm so that I wouldn't give away the plan or say anything that I would highly regret later. I was allowed to stare into space and smile like an idiot with the event of shagging Amos to fill my mind, with no interruptions. Whenever a teacher asked me a question Gwen would tell them that I'd been hit in the hall with an overdone cheering charm and that it would wear off in an hour or so. That's what she said, for about three hours in a row. Potter of course was curious about my dazed state, if he asked about me, I don't remember, at the time I was making a mental inventory of my knickers and had no care for messy haired and bespectacled boys inquiring about my health and sanity. Gwen told me later that he had recognized the symptoms of a love potion and had questioned her about it, of course she passed it off as a prank that Potter, despite any feelings he has for me, would no doubt appreciate.

So it was, that after I had escaped the long and tedious day of school, I tramped up to the head's dormitory and rushed into my room on the epic search for proper underwear. I shuffled through piles of bras and knickers in boring shades of black and white, one with a little lace, a blue one that was too big, a red one that had a broken clasp and always threatened to go flying off, and then finally… I knew it. As I had mentally gone through it all, I knew it was the only thing that would work. Gwen, as a consolation present for Valentine's day last year had given me a matching underwear set of forest green that was lacy, sexy and most of all bordered on the need for censorship. In my hornified state I wanted to impress Amos so I slid into the lacy scraps of fabric and examined my barely-clad reflection in the mirror. Satisfied, I got dressed again, taking a few pages out of Violet's book by unbuttoning my shirt lower than I would ever have normally done, rolling up my skirt and skipping the tie, I would have to pick it up later anyway.

I dashed down the steps taking two at a time in my excitement. I crashed headlong into Potter at the foot of the stairs, who was without a shag for the afternoon, an irony that I felt elated by. Take that Mr. Sex-god; I was about to get laid on the one afternoon when he was going to be sitting alone doing his homework. He was ruffled by our collision and grabbed me to steady the two of us. I was desperate to be on time and hell-bent on my course of action so I paid little heed.

"Evans, are you alright?"

"Just dandy."

"Are you going to go slobber over some sneaky slime ball that gave you a love potion?"

"I don't know what you are talking about, I am in love and have been for some time, it is no different now, but I _do_ have a date to attend to so if you don't mind-"

"DIGGORY slipped you the potion?" I sighed at the mention of the name.

"My knight in shining armor." I simpered. Potter looked as though he was going to puke.

"Foul git."

"I would hex you for that normally but seeing as I am about to be late, I'll save the more creative curses for later." I said hotly, slithering out of his slackened grip and sprinting for the door. "Good afternoon Potter." I said innocently before treating him to my most evil laugh and trotting out the door.

When I arrived downstairs in the third floor corridor, there was no one in sight. Somewhere deep down inside the sane part of me was relieved, but as the idiot was currently in control, I had a panic attack. Gwen found me minutes later pacing in front of room 324 wringing my hands, muttering to myself, and generally in a state of great distress. She had to spend another few minutes calming me down and assuring me that Amos was not late, but rather I was a good twenty minutes early. Bugger it all.

Just at the inopportune moment, as I was ceasing with the hyper-ventilating, the infamous Sirius Black decided to materialize out of a wall that turned out to be a door that was only parading as a wall. Bloody architecture. Anyway, he appeared with his usual egotistical, theatrical and rude entrance.

"Why its none other than the two most beautiful birds in Hogwarts! Gwen." He said appreciatively before snogging the living daylights out of her. After a couple minutes it was starting to get annoying and after a few loud echems and some major prodding on my part, they parted and Black seemed to have noticed me for the first time. "Ah, and my dear Lily-billy the lovesick puppy dog!" he cupped my chin and ruffled my hair affectionately.

"OI! Hands off the girlfriend Black!" I felt a lurch in my nether regions as my one true lover's melodious voice fell upon my ears. Amos walked down the hall to meet us.

"Gwenog, perhaps you'd like to take Black for a walk? Pick up a butterbeer in the kitchens, bother some _Slytherins_." He said looking at her pointedly. She was not slow on the up-take.

"Sirius, care for a stroll?" She asked innocently.

He wriggled his eyebrows and replied, "I'd _love_ one."

Black slid his arm around her waist and the two sidled off around the corner. Amos stood scowling at their retreat. "I never liked that kid." He said reproachfully. I could only gaze at him and nod in agreement.

I must remind you again that this was a situation in which I had no control over my thoughts, words or actions. With one little vial of love potion he had reduced me to his devoted slave, a little sadistic now that I think about it. Anyway, so there we were, ready to go at it with the looming public event hanging between us. In my drugged horny state, I didn't care much about getting found. Yes, I actually found it exciting. So after a pause I grabbed his hand and dragged him into the empty classroom. Of course we didn't lock the door, but the second I had closed it behind us, he pulled me into a fierce kiss. When we broke apart he looked at me carefully and asked, "Do you love me?"

At this point since I was a slobbering idiot, I said, "yes, with all my heart, I would do anything for you Amos, I love you, I LOVE YOU! And it feels wonderful, and I am really horny right now, so can we get on with it?" I was getting impatient; didn't he understand how much he meant to me? How much he was a vital part of my life, how I would die if he were not to love me in return, how I would follow him to the ends of the earth just to prove my undying love? Didn't he know I had already made plans in my head for where our wedding would be, how many kids we would have and all of their names? And anyway, asking questions was wasting time, I had not forgotten the reason that we were there and I was getting a wee bit antsy.

Amos looked smug at my response, and he whispered into my ear, "I want you Lily."

Which sent shivers down my spine and somehow made my lower regions heat up inexplicably. Then we were kissing again and my mind was going into overdrive, I was snogging my true love, and we were about to have the best shag ever. I knew that I didn't want to loose my virginity to anyone else, and I was thrilled to be in the situation. Jeez was I a stupid blighter.

Amos's tongue was attacking my mouth, running along the ticklish part at the roof of my mouth, and toward the back of my throat, marking his dominance in the moment. When he moved away from my mouth and trailed kisses down my neck I could feel my lips bruising a bit. He worked his way down my collarbone, and it was pleasant, but also jarring, the idea of sex is so appealing, but I found it slow, awkward and gawky. Starting the act with such determination between the two of us, made the journey to the moment strange and uncalculated. I brought his face back up to mine and kissed him again. I was becoming hot and I began to want to rid him of all the unnecessary clothing items that was keeping the true form of my God away from my eyes. My fingers found buttons and after I quickly made work of his shirt, his undershirt soon followed. I ran my hands up and down his chest, getting acquainted with the contours of his body and the feeling of a man's bare chest under my hands. He groaned audibly into my mouth and broke the kiss to go back to my neck, all the while he was fumbling at the buttons of my blouse.

When he had stripped me of the pesky garment. He chanced a glance down and I saw his eyes go wide. I watched his eyes as they traveled up and down my torso, with an appraising look. Finally his eyes met mine and he leaned in close again, until I could feel his breath on my ear, "very nice selection" he breathed. I felt another shiver of pleasure wrack my body. Then his lips found mine again and there was a sudden desperation in his kiss. And I knew we must be short on time. Suddenly his hands moved lower, gliding over my hips, down farther to the hem of my skirt. This was the lowest point on my body that anyone had touched before, and it was both exciting and terrifying. But he was not going for a pleasure cruise, he moved quickly and greedily, his hands were on my thighs, pushing my skirt up. I felt a shock as his fingers found the waistband of my almost inexistent knickers and began to pull down.

Suddenly all the heat that I felt in my center was pooling in that one secret place and I felt a sudden thrill of desire. It was strange; I was detached in some way. You see, the love potion had made me obsessed with Amos himself, wishing for the verification of his love, but it did not force me to desire his body or to enjoy sex, that was my job alone. This is probably the reason why this episode became so disastrous after all.

Through my clouded mind I recall going for his belt and then his fly. Then there was that second awkward moment of preparing. He had his shirt on the floor, his pants pooling around his knees, I was in just my bra with knickers pulled down just past the hem of my skirt. I had expected Amos to be more delicate, but he pushed me down so that I was lying down across two desks. Just before he had positioned himself above me, I dived for my wand and cast a simple spell that McGonagall had taught us in an extremely awkward "ladies' discussion" in fifth year, a memory I could live without.

When all was said and done, he gave me a sharp hard kiss and pushed in. I bit my lip rather hard to resist crying out. It didn't hurt as much as I had expected, but in some ways it hurt more. And the pain didn't just go away, the first initial sharp pain was gone, but there was an aching pain as he began to move. I knew that our time was short and that I shouldn't complain, and my mind was so sullied by my potion-induced love that I just wanted him to be happy so I lived with the strange mixture of pleasure and pain that was now focused at the point in my body where we were connected. I decided the best thing to do was oblige; after all, first times were supposed to be the worst time, right?

So there we were going at it, Amos panting in a really creepy way and making all these guttural groans, and me, going along for the ride and making noises whenever it seemed appropriate. Now I don't want to give the impression that it wasn't pleasurable at all, but it wasn't the perfect experience that I had expected. But there we were, two teens doing their best to enjoy an experience that just wasn't quite right.

Then we heard them, voices in the hall.

"I don't know what it is Severus, I just heard Jones telling Black that 'they' were doing something in room 324". Rita Skeeter bit out irritably.

"Yes Rita, but who is 'they'?" came a familiar voice that immediately made me feel greasy.

"I don't know Severus, that is exactly what I came here to find out. Now if you feel like tagging along fine by me, but _I'm_ the one who gets to tell everyone what, or who it is we see. Ooh, if it's a Gryffindor this will be worth our time." Skeeter said maliciously.

"They're here", panted Amos. "Make a scene."

I did as I was told, I wound my arms up his back and wrapped my legs around his waist making him groan again, and I began to make the sounds that I had heard on my unfortunate trip into Gryffindor tower the other week. A moment later I heard the door creak open.

"Pretend you don't see them" Amos whispered. Merlin, as if I was going to do anything else. I chanced a glance at the door. Skeeter was wearing the smuggest look I'd ever seen and Snape looked as though he had simultaneously been slapped in the face, and gotten incredibly ill. I had to resist the urge to laugh again, yet there was some part of me that feared the future repercussions of this scene. Snape was not supposed to have seen this and I couldn't help but feel that something not so good would come of it.

I continued my antics, and tried to ignore our intruders. They must have only been inside the room a few seconds, because I heard the door slam and when I looked up both of them were gone. I sighed with relief and completely gave myself over to the remaining minutes of our desktop tryst. I waited till Amos came and then till he slid off me, breathing hard and began to put his clothes back on.

It was surreal. I felt as though I were in a Muggle movie, that I had not actually shagged Amos but that we had simply filmed a scene, and for a very particular audience. The return to normalness afterwards was so abrupt that it seemed as though the entire event had never happened.

I was to learn by dinner that night, that in fact, not only had the event happened, but also every single person in the school knew about it, and would never let me live it down. However there was one person who wasn't spreading the story and gossiping along with everybody else. Oh yes, Mr. Potter it seemed did not want to discuss the fact that Lily Evans was found shagging Amos Diggory in an empty classroom on the third floor.

Now just because I had a bad shag did not mean that I wasn't still under the power of the potion. After we had both rearranged our clothes, and brushed ourselves off, I told him how wonderful it was, how much I loved him, and how great it was that everything went according to plan. He seemed to be pleased beyond all belief. He was beaming and I could see why, he had just gotten laid, gotten back at Potter and his girlfriend was falling all over herself for him. I would be egotistical too. Either way, we made our way into the hallway cautiously. And luckily there was no one in sight. Apparently the Slytherins had not sent a congratulatory party, and I was grateful that Rita Skeeter was not yet so evil that she would bring some friends along to jeer at us, I guess she was saving it for later.

Anyway, we made our way up to the Head's dormitory and when we climbed in we found Gwen and Black falling over each other in hysterical laughter.

"And I suppose you think it's funny that she brought Snape along with her?" Amos said irritably, notifying them of our presence.

"Snivellus was there? Ha! I would've liked to see the look on his greasy little face!" Black said triumphantly. Gwen gave him a playful swat to the head, but she looked satisfied nonetheless.

"Well, whatever it was that you two did, we appreciate the help." Amos said with a grin.

"Anything for the sake of joke." Black said in utter seriousness and he stood and bowed, miming the removal of his metaphorical hat. "If I said it once, I said it a thousand times, the only way for our little Lily-billy to get her knickers out of a twist, is to take them off altogether!" He and Gwen doubled over with laughter again, and Amos looked disapproving. I followed Amos' example and glared at Black and his crude humor.

"Well," Amos said self-importantly, "I guess Potter will be finding out the news over dinner then."

Black's laughter died away abruptly. Apparently he hadn't realized that this little joke was for Potter's benefit and not for Rita's. Suddenly he took on the look of someone who had killed his best friend without knowing it. The Marauders NEVER played pranks on one another, it was bad form. Especially not Black and Potter. Black looked especially disgusted with himself when he heard Potter's voice a moment later.

"I'll be finding out _what_ exactly, at dinner?" Potter had somehow materialized from his staircase and I had a sinking suspicion that he had been lurking just a few steps up and out of sight, which meant that he would have heard our entire conversation.

"Ah, Mr. Potter, what a pleasant surprise." Amos said turning to him. Now Black wouldn't even look at Potter. "I suppose since you're here, it would be cruel of me to let you hear the news from a bunch of gossiping girls over dinner, I might as well inform you myself." Amos was lording this over Potter and enjoying it. Now I saw, this was like the icing to the cake, the cogs were in motion, the whole school would know and there was nothing that Potter could do to stop that, and now he, Amos was going to get to say it straight to Potter's face, in all of his glory.

Potter was scowling, he probably knew at least a part of the story if not all of it from what he heard, but now he had no choice but to let Amos lay out his defeat before his eyes.

"You see, Lily and I have just returned from a particularly wonderful shag across a few desks in Flitwick's room, I wouldn't sit near the back next time you have class, if I were you." Amos said, speaking each word slowly and clearly, apparently calculating the explosion that he was expecting from Potter.

Potter glanced at me, I was leaning against Amos' shoulder and he had his arm around my waist, which made me feel loved and protected, and proud to be with a boy so confident in himself. I was gazing up at him in rapture as he spoke, and only Potter's voice asking me a question drew my attention away from the handsomeness of Amos's carved jaw and high cheekbones.

"That's lovely Diggory, I'm sure it was a wonderful event, sorry I missed it. Evans, how did you enjoy your first time?" He said in a mock baby tone that didn't quite cover the anger and derision. Amos looked nothing short of shocked, apparently he felt that it was a great invasion of his privacy that Potter knew I had been a virgin.

My mouth moved to give an answer before I even could think about it. Inside I knew it wasn't so hot, but of course it would be rude to say so out loud, not to mention I was still madly in love with Amos.

"It was divine." I sighed. "I never imagined that a shag could be a more beautiful and wonderful experience, I felt like my love for Amos was overflowing, never ending and utter perfection. I hope that I can feel that way again, for it was like a little piece of heaven to be in Amos' arms." I went back to my starry eyed drooling.

Potter looked revolted, as though I had just puked all over the rug or something. He looked from me to Amos, then at me again. He took a step forward and stared Amos straight in the eye. "I think its sick and disgusting what you've done to her."

Amos only shrugged. "What can I say, she loves me." Then he turned and enveloped me in a kiss. He held me there, kissing more and more deeply, and for longer then I would have liked, but I would oblige my knight in shining armor anything that he wished. When we finally broke apart he shot Potter a smug look and then turned back to me, "I have to go my dear." He whispered. I pouted. "I'll see you at dinner." He gave me another quick peck on the lips and with a final glance in Potter's direction he strode from the room.

I looked around at the remaining people in the room. Potter still glaring at the closed door, Black looking miserable, and Gwen trying desperately to contain her laughter.

"Isn't he just delightful?" I sighed again. I had a wide grin and I was still enveloped in the wonderful feeling of being loved. Potter gave me a sad look.

"Gwen." His voice was controlled but I could tell that he was really upset. He wasn't insulted by Amos' victory, he was angry, but I couldn't understand why. Gwen scampered up from the couch.

"Get the antidote."

"But-" she began.

"GET IT!" he shouted. I've never seen her so obedient, she jumped and immediately ran for her bag. While she was fishing around for the vial, Potter turned to Black.

"I'm sorry mate." Black whispered, looking mortified.

"It's ok Sirius, I owe you for the doxie eggs last year, we're even."

"But that doesn't even compare-" Black began, but Potter shot him a meaningful look.

"Right, thanks mate."

Gwen had found the vial she was searching for and handed it to Potter. He thanked her but did not move.

"We'll be going then shall we?" Black said, understanding his meaning. "Gwen?" He offered her his arm and she reluctantly took it. The two off them left without another word. Then Potter uncorked the vial and turned to me.

"How do you feel?" He asked cautiously.

"Lovely." I beamed back at him.

"Right. Well, Gwen's just given me this potion that will, er… make you even more appealing to Amos, you want to look really beautiful for him don't you?" his baby voice was back, but I was drinking in all his words. I nodded emphatically.

"I want to be perfect, I want him to love me. Why did he leave me? Where did he go? I want my Amos back!" I began to panic again so Potter thrust the vial into my hand and I took it in one big gulp.

I sighed happily knowing that shortly I would be even more beautiful. But then, slowly my sense of euphoria was slipping away, a deep-seated dread was starting to gnaw at my stomach, the memories of the past few hours were starting to come rushing back in fast-forward. Suddenly I knew what had happened. And the dread, shock and embarrassment took over.

"Fuck" I breathed.

"That's our Evans." Potter said sounding somewhat relieved.

I hid my face in my hands and sank to the floor. I could feel rather than hear Potter kneel down next to me. "Are you alright Evans?"

"That's a matter of opinion." I muttered.

"I'll tell everyone, I'll tell them that he drugged you and forced you into it. That is, if you want me to." He said softly.

"No. They have enough reasons to make fun of me, I don't need to give them anymore." I said, still staring at the rug, my mind wheeling with the shame of it all. "You know most people would be proud, they would flaunt it around the school and live it up." I said looking at Potter for the first time.

He gave me an obliging smile. "Yes, _some_ people would do that. But that's not who you are Evans, you only lord it over me."

"Not this time." I said. "I thought I was teaching you a lesson, but of course the moral of this story is that we have to learn from our mistakes." I said bitterly.

"Come on," he grabbed my elbows and lifted me delicately to my feet and guided me to the couch. I had never known Potter to be so kind and considerate. He eased me into my seat and conjured a pot of tea. "Now that the potion has worn off I feel confident enough to say this without you hexing my balls off. I think that Diggory is a sick egotistical and manipulative prick."

Now in my opinion that was pushing it just a bit. At the moment I was feeling rather resentful toward my boyfriend for drugging me, shagging me badly, and putting me on display to my shame before the entire school. But he was still my boyfriend. And as the entire operation had initially been for the purpose of getting back at Potter, it was obvious that he would say something like this.

"Evans, he used you and humiliated you just to get back at me, its not because he loves you but because he hates me. And I… I can't stand it. Because that means that it's my fault, and I hate to think that what happened to you today was my fault. And of course it is, it always is my fault. Everything that has ever gone wrong with you is my fault. And, I'm sorry."

I stared at him. Perhaps I was still drugged or something, because Potter was saying sorry for something. In fact he was saying sorry for everything. What was most difficult about this situation was that I didn't know what to do with it. Was this just a different tactic for winning my affections or was he playing with my mind? Was he being sarcastic? And who's to say Amos didn't love me? Saying that only made it worse, and I could see why Potter was so upset. In his eyes Amos only wanted to shag me as part of a masculine battle for social power that he was waging with Potter. I on the other hand thought that Amos really did love me. In retrospect we were both wrong. But at that moment my relationship with Potter was threatening to change from a friendly enmity to placid familiarity or even dangerous as it may seem, friendship. I couldn't make the jump; too much of my life depended on Potter being my enemy. Too much of my being needed him as my verbal punching bag. I needed our arguments; I needed to insult him, to reject him, to fight him, and to have him near. So I took the easy way out of my predicament.

"I don't know what you are talking about Potter, Amos _does_ love me. I am very offended at your opinion of him and I would appreciate it if you drop the subject all together." I said hotly, putting down my cup of tea and jumping up from where I was sitting next to him on the couch as if it had been on fire. I turned and awaited his reply. What I said was utter bullshit. It was my way of telling him that I didn't need his sympathy, and it hurt him. He looked momentarily disappointed, then he set his face and glared back at me, his indication that he had accepted my decision and that he was gearing up for the fight we were about to have.

"You know Evans, you are being blind. Just because he's your first boyfriend doesn't mean he is a good person, look what he did to you! He is going to strut around this school telling everyone that you are his pathetic little puppy dog, trailing after him, smitten with love. Since when did Lily Evans let a boy turn her into a pile of lovesick goo! What you said a minute ago was shameful and disgusting. The whole school is going to look at you as a pathetic easy tramp! And you know what-"

"WHAT?" I shouted breaking into his monologue, something that he always hates.

"I HOPE THEY DO! Because if you are stupid enough to think that Diggory loves you, that he WANTED you and that he was doing this out of affection, then you deserve all the shame and ridicule. He is a shameless selfish bastard and you know it!"

"Look in the mirror Potter and you will see a shameless selfish bastard, Amos is an angel compared to you! You think what he did today was wrong, but you shag Jane in a broom closet ten minutes after dumping Margie who you hooked up with in front of Anne just after you had thrown her over too. Don't you DARE talk to me about what is right and wrong in love. You are CRUEL, and you are more selfish than he is by a thousand times. You said it was your fault. IT _WAS_ YOUR FAULT! I don't want to hear you speak ill of Amos EVER again." I was seething. My need to let off some steam had built up ten fold and I knew that this was a great way for me to completely spill out all of my pent up anger and hurt. I all honesty I did feel used, and fighting with Potter helped be get my identity and my feeling of power back.

"Oh yeah, and what are you going to do to me Evans? Hex me? Oooh, I'm soo scared. Amos Diggory is an ugly, pockmarked, self-centered, pompous, precocious, rude, snobby, GIT! Oh, and out of curiosity, how did it feel to have your cherry popped by an arse-faced toe rag? Was it all that it was cracked up to be? Did he take you along for the ride, or did he just ignore you like most inconsiderate assholes?" So now he had crossed into dangerous territory. How could I deny that it was a horrible shag, but how could I give him the pleasure of knowing that it was bad?

"It was quite wonderful, if you care so much!" I retorted, feeling my cheeks grow hot at his question.

"LIAR!"

"As if YOU know!"

"It was terrible wasn't it? You just don't want to admit it! You don't want to believe that your dear darling precious Amos is a bad lover!" He was getting really into the line of insults, proud and emboldened by his victory, for we both knew he was right and nothing I said or did would change that commonly accepted fact. That was when I cracked, after all my trials of the day, after all the shame, I couldn't bear to loose the argument on top of it and give him the pleasure, but here he was, handing the truth to me on a very well polished silver platter.

"FINE!" I screeched, I was really at the end of my line. "HAPPY NOW? IT WAS AWFUL! I DON'T LOVE HIM AND HE DOESN'T LOVE ME AND WE BOTH DID IT TO SPITE YOU, AND I'M BLOODY MISERABLE ABOUT IT!" I had a crashing realization as I shouted and burned up my last ounces of steam that it was true, Amos and I were never truly attracted to one another, we were partners in crime against a common enemy, and he was more aware of it. He led me on with a leash and I was only opening my eyes to the apparent fact now. The sudden comprehension of my situation proved too much on top of all my other emotions so unlike my normal method of storming off in a huff; I broke down into racking sobs.

In some ways it was wonderful. Just letting go, letting the release of a good cry wash over me. Crying in front of someone else makes one seem a lot more pitiable and then you feel like you have some justification in crying. However in this case it was simply a mark of my defeat. It was the first time I had really sobbed in front of Potter and I was curious to see his reaction.

I was surprised by what he did next. I was so absorbed in the waves of emotion that were rolling over me, provoking each new outburst of tears, that I could neither see nor hear Potter as he moved toward me. But a few seconds after I burst into tears I felt a pair of warm comforting arms circle around me and draw me close. I had never felt so comfortable in a boy's embrace. It came so easily, just crying freely into his chest and he held me to him with one arm and stroked my hair with the other. For once I didn't mind the intimacy, I needed it in my moment of crisis. Potter didn't say a word. He just stood there silently holding me and waiting for the tears to subside.

I think it was then that the thing started to happen. That it just sort of clicked. There was something that was not so horrible about him, something rather nice. I could not yet accept Potter as a friend, but I could respect him just that much more. That little embrace in the head's common room became, over the next few days, our little secret. It wasn't dirty, wrong, or sexual in any sense. But that moment in which each of us had come to a silent peace treaty, where for those few minutes I actually needed him, where I had let my guard down and opened up, it became our hidden crime. In the following days in which I was congratulated, taunted or whistled at, I had that one moment of truth to hold on to. Each time someone said something about Amos and I, I could always catch Potter's eye for a moment and we would silently acknowledge the truth of it, and even the humor in it.

That was the day that my opinion of James Potter changed just a little bit, for the better.

When I had finally finished crying he stepped back from me and stared at me, a concerned look on his face. He paused a moment, then raised a hand to cup my cheek. I let my eyes close, I couldn't look at him anymore, I was feeling strange being this close to him, but I was too comfortable to contest it. And it seemed rude not to look back at him, but all the same it felt as if I were being X-rayed when he looked at me.

I felt his thumb run across my check, wiping away the tears. "Thank you." I breathed softly. I could feel the waver in my voice, still raw from the crying. I'm sure that I looked like a complete train wreck. If I did, he did nothing to show it. I sniffed, wiping away the rest of the wetness on my face. I turned away to take a few breaths. He still hadn't spoken. I guess he knew that this didn't need petty conversation.

I like Potter with his mouth shut. Instead of being an obnoxious prick that seemed hell-bent on making my life as aggravating as possible, he was a warm and comfortable presence, a friend who offered pity and security.

I took another steadying breath and turned to face him. "I'd appreciate it if this doesn't-"

"I won't breath a word. I promise." He said quickly.

"Thanks." I said again. "Well, er, I guess we better go down for dinner." I mumbled. I was secretly dreading my first public appearance, but I knew that not going down for dinner would only make things worse and raise more questions.

Potter closed the gap between us and looked at me straight in the eye. "I _am_ sorry." He said. "If it means anything, I'm sorry. But, I'm here." And slowly, awkwardly he leaned over and placed a chaste kiss on my forehead. I didn't expect it, but I felt a wave of warmth radiate over my body from that spot. He stepped away and I knew that the moment was over. The usual Potter had suddenly returned. "Ladies first." He said in a suggestive tone, beckoning toward the door.

Just like him, show his better side, realize that he is actually a good human being on the inside, then do everything he can to reverse that impression. I took the hint and we both stepped out into the hall. There was a pause, then we each turned and walked in opposite directions. I knew that he was taking the long way so that we didn't arrive in the Great Hall at the same time.

When I strode into the great hall ten minutes later, a playful smile on my lips, and my head held high, no one would have guessed that I had just been sobbing into James Potter's shoulder. And NO ONE would have thought that just a week later I would have my vengeance on Amos Diggory.

Well, I hope you all enjoyed it. I will try to better about updating soon, but as you may have guessed, I'm rather unreliable. It is, however my goal to finish the fic by June so it will come hell or high water or large snow flurries.

Till next time,

-Prongspal


	11. Inebriated Dumping

Chapter 11

Yes, it's true! I'm back! I've given up apologizing for long waits; I'm just highly unreliable in terms of updating things in a timely fashion. All I can promise is that I have not forgotten this story, and it isn't over. Between Senioritis and writer's block, it just took me a long time to sit down and write this. But nonetheless, I finally did. Please enjoy the next installment!

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Chapter 11

**Innocence: **Shattered

**Scale of dislike of my boyfriend from 1 to 10: **10 and climbing

**Scale of dislike of Potter from 1 to 10: **8 and decreasing… strange, no?

To say I was furious with Amos Diggory is an understatement. I was peeved sure, but there were moments in that next week, when we were alone in a corridor and he made to kiss me, or grabbed me somewhere inappropriate, that I just wanted to rip his pompous head from his shoulders. This fury was different from my "I hate Potter and his stupid tricks" anger. No, this was the type of fury that inspires revenge. And so, after enduring a torturous week of faked smiles and empty kisses, I decided to break up with Amos Diggory, and take my revenge. I decided that there was one person in the school that could help me the most in my new endeavor, the same one who deserved the pleasure of embarrassing Amos yet again. It was a difficult decision, but I knew that deep down I needed this; I needed to wreak my anger upon him in the worst of ways. That was when I decided to step over the line and break the pact that I'd made with myself. The pact to never allow myself to support or indulge the marauders in their recklessness. I broke my promise, I decided to go to Potter and ask for his help.

It was nearing a week after the fact and I had spent most of it letting my anger bubble up inside of me until it had reached near bursting and I couldn't stand the sight of Amos Diggory anymore. I had spent two days and nights deliberating over whether or not to go to Potter, but after a particularly painful snog session with Amos I decided that a little Marauder chaos was in order.

On a sunny afternoon after classes were over I sidled into the head's common room, expecting Potter to be off gallivanting around the grounds and soaking in the first clear day we'd had in a while. The Hogwarts grounds were a sparkling white, the lovely aftermath of a nasty snowstorm the night before. No one in their right mind would be indoors on a day like this, no one who even remotely enjoyed a good snowball fight would be able to stand the sight of all that snow clean and ready to go flying across the grounds. But Potter it seemed had other ideas. I walked in to discover him bent over his transfiguration essay, already easily a foot long, which was due later that week. Potter did his homework? How strange. I looked at him working and I knew that if I didn't ask him then and there, I would never be able to get up the courage to go against all of my own principles again. So steeling my nerves I blurted, "Potter!".

He looked up in mild surprise. "Hey Evans, what's up?"

I sighed. This was not easy. "I…" He looked at me expectantly, perhaps even a little hopefully.

"I have a favor to ask." I finally got out.

He grinned and stood up. "Anything for the lovely Lady Evans. How may I be of service?" He gave me a mock bow.

I had half a mind to say something scathing and let the whole thing go, but I stayed there. "I want to break up with Amos." I said going slightly pink. What was I doing telling Potter about my personal life that he had no right nor need to know about?

"About bloody time-"

I held up a hand to stop his oncoming rant. "I don't need a lecture Potter, but I could use your help." I had his rapt attention. "I don't want this to be a normal break-up, I want to make it a bit more of a… a spectacle. If you know what I mean?"

Potter was grinning broadly. "You came to the right man, leave it to me. Just tell me when and you will be rid of him for good." He was obviously thrilled and somewhat smug. I had a feeling he'd come up with something good. I began to wonder if he hadn't already concocted a million ways to get Amos out of the way. A week ago I would have been annoyed by his possessiveness, but this time it was thrilling, and quite useful.

"As soon as possible would be preferable I think." I said.

He nodded. "I'll go grab my mates then. Anywhere in particular that you'd like to make this happen?"

I thought for a moment, and then it came to me. There was a Quidditch match the next day between Gryffindor and Slytherin and we were expected to win. If we did win, there would be a raucous victory party to which everyone but the Slytherins would be invited. It was the perfect opportunity to do something public without any teachers intervening. Yes, that would be perfect, in the chaos of the party when everyone's veins were flowing with butterbeer and firewhisky, and the mood of the room was in a heat, any sort of frenzy could break out without consequence.

We made a plan. At the party, Potter and the marauders would pull a stunt putting Amos in a compromising position. Then I would stage an overly dramatic break-up, thus making his dumping decidedly public and sufficiently embarrassing. I had no idea what Potter had up his sleeve to get Amos into said compromising position, but as the master of trouble making, I figured I could trust him to do it, and do it well.

I had a hard time for the next 24 hours, wrapping my head around the idea of being in cahoots with the marauders. However there was something exciting and thrilling about the prospect. Especially after politely excusing myself from being felt up behind the 4th floor tapestry, I was ready to get away from Amos Diggory.

Sure enough Gryffindor won the match to my great relief. Potter it seemed was so determined to do this for me that he made sure that his team won the game, flying at his very best. It was gratifying to say the least, seeing him do dives, turns and swerves worthy of the world cup, all for my sake. Or at least that's what I'd like to think since it made me feel far more validated in devoting a little more attention to him than necessary to follow the game. As much as I relish hating Potter's guts, there is something delightful about being on his side. I hate to admit it, but I'm starting to realize that perhaps I don't completely hate Potter after all. That maybe, just maybe it might be worthwhile to give him a chance to prove that he's not only a pompous self-absorbed arse hole…

The idea is shocking, but perhaps more shocking was that when he was hoisted on the shoulders of a cheering pack of red and gold painted fans, he caught my eye and gave me a wink, before disappearing into the crowd. And I felt butterflies stir somewhere in my abdomen.

When I arrived in the Gryffindor common room, near the back of the seemingly endless pack of Gryffindor supporters, the party was already in full swing and the room seemed full to bursting. I was sure that someone had done a charm to expand the space, because I knew that it was not just Gryffindors there for the celebrations. And, judging by the large number of girls present, many of them were part of the Potter fan club.

I spotted the patch of black unruly hair near the drinks, where he undoubtedly had already laced the "pumpkin juice" with something a wee bit stronger. I could spot a few first years that were already swaying. I shoved my way through a pack of bright-red 4th years passing around a bottle of something that smelled suspiciously of firewhisky. Finally I found Potter engulfed in a pack of girls and looking slightly frazzled. I figured I'd lend a hand.

"Hey Potter!" I shouted. "There's something you've GOT to see!" He spun on the spot and the relief was visibly etched on his face.

"Ladies, I'm afraid I'll have to excuse myself, Miss Evans apparently has something to show me that I cannot miss." He then plowed through them to a cacophony of complaints and pleas. "Thanks, I needed that."

"Anytime." I gave him a pointed look. "So?"

"Ah yes, that. You know what you need to do, right?"

"Yes" I said irritated now, "We only went over it about five times! What I don't know is WHEN I need to do my part."

"You'll know." Potter said cryptically.

"Oh, great that's incredibly helpful Potter, I feel ever so prepared!" I huffed.

"Look just trust me on this one ok, all is going to plan." He began to stride away in that aggravating fashion of his, but he paused a moment and turned around to face me again. "Oh, and Evans, loosen up a bit." With that last remark he tossed me a bottle of firewhisky and disappeared again.

"Bloody twerp." I muttered before uncorking the bottle and downing half of it.

I spent the next few minutes mingling with the guests in their varying degrees of inebriation. That's when it happened. I spotted Amos in a corner armchair looking cross and mildly bored. He had a bottle of firewhisky in his hand and his nose was tinged slightly pink. Other than that, he gave no telltale signs of being drunk. Obviously he had shown up to get the pleasure of snogging me in front of Potter and all of his fans and friends. However, I had begun to master the art of avoiding the Diggory and he luckily had not yet found me among the masses. From what I could tell he must have given up searching for me and grabbed a chair and a bottle of booze and called it a day. I decided to keep an eye on him at a healthy distance. So I perched myself on the arm of a nearby chair and waited.

I don't know what I expected Potter to do. Perhaps something along the lines of another duel, general bodily harm, or any other assortment of boyish pranks. But Potter being the creative lad that he is, had something better up his sleeve.

Out of the crowd I spotted a girl sidling toward Amos, her hips swaying. She looked vaguely familiar but I couldn't put my finger on where I'd seen her. She looked to be around our age, and judging by her robes she was a Gryffindor. I assumed that she must be a 6th year that I'd never really paid any attention to. How I hadn't noticed her in the past 7 years seemed ludicrous however. She was strikingly beautiful, with long dark hair floating around a pale face, bright blue eyes, and high regal cheekbones. Any bloke in his right mind would go for her, and Amos was no different.

She walked right up to him and took a seat on the arm of the chair. "Hello stranger." She cooed. Her voice was surprisingly low, but she managed to sound sultry instead of masculine. Amos' eyes widened. "H-hi." He managed to choke out.

When was this bloody operation going to start? I didn't particularly feel like waiting around watching my soon-to-be-ex shagging a girl in the middle of the room before I broke up with him. For the second time I scanned the room for Potter. Puzzlingly he was doubled over laughing. I glanced back at the girl who slipped the bottle from Amos' hand and took a tantalizing swig. I looked back to Potter who had been joined by Remus, the two of them laughing harder than ever. I was irritated. Why were they goofing off when they were supposed to be helping me get rid of my damned boyfriend?

I managed to catch Potter's eye midway through one of his bouts of hysteria. I gave him a quizzical look; he gestured toward Amos and the girl and then fell into more peals of laughter. The girl was now whispering something to Amos as she toyed with his tie. I wondered what on earth could possibly be funny about this. I inched closer and found a new perch on a chair just a few feet away from them. I stared hard at the girl. She looked so familiar…

"Hello beautiful, come to watch the show?" I heard Gwen's voice in my ear. I nearly jumped half a foot in the air at the abrupt arrival of my best mate.

"Some show." I scoffed. The girl had taken a seat in Amos' lap and was occasionally drinking from his bottle when she wasn't laughing at everything he said. It was disgusting really, and I didn't even like Amos anymore.

"I must say." Gwen commented offhandedly, "I find this a wee bit distressing, but you must admit, he's doing a splendid job."

I turned to stare at her, "Amos is doing a splendid job? What are you on about-"

"OH! They didn't tell you?" She cackled looking at me in amusement, "James does like his surprises. Ah well, you'll see soon enough."

"I'll see what?" I demanded. She just laughed airily and turned her attention back to Amos and the girl. I looked at her more closely. She looked strikingly like Black, as if she were his sister. But I remembered he didn't have a sister, and his only cousins were no longer in school, so how…? Then it hit me. She looked like Black for a reason. She WAS Sirius. I knew that the marauders were good at transfiguration, but this was bordering on mastering metamorphamagy.

My suspicions were confirmed when just as Amos leaned in for a kiss, the girl began to change. Her long hair seemed to fuse onto her body and spread, creating a layer of dark fur. Her nose grew and elongated and her curves flattened out. A second later Amos found himself being lapped in the face by the large black dog now in his lap. He gave a cry of surprise and stood up. The dog toppled out of his lap and onto the floor where it stayed for a moment, sprawled on the ground. By now the morphing and the commotion had gathered quite a crowd, many of whom were tittering already. I was worried for a moment that Black had hit his head or something when he fell, but after a few seconds the dog morphed back into a human, a boy this time, and there was Sirius Black sprawled on the floor and laughing his head off for the world to see.

"What in the bloody-" Amos began to sputter. I glanced at Potter again and he gave me the look that meant, 'it's your turn now'. So I took a deep breath and stepped out from behind my chair, walked straight up to Amos and did what I had been dying to do for a week. I slapped him as hard as I could across the face.

"AMOS DIGGORY, HOW DARE YOU!" I screeched, trying to rally more attention. I had become very well versed in the theatrics of the Gryffindor common room, having had many a row with Potter in the same spot. He in turn seemed to be enjoying the experience of seeing me go off on someone other than himself.

I paused for effect, waiting for Amos' reply. "I…I… what?" he seemed at a loss for words, but he was glaring daggers at Sirius.

"YOU COULD HAVE TOLD ME!" I sobbed for added effect. "YOU COULD HAVE TOLD ME THAT I WASN'T ENOUGH. YOU COULD HAVE TOLD ME THAT YOU FANCIED SIRIUS!" I put an extra emphasis on the last few words. If I was breaking up with him, no harm done in making all the girls skeptical of his heterosexuality while I was at it. I glanced over to Potter and Remus, they were on the verge of tears, clutching their stomachs. Potter gave me a wink.

"HOW DARE YOU TOUCH ONE OF MY HOUSEMATES? HOW DARE YOU TRY TO DEFILE THE PURITY OF GRYFFINDOR!" There were cheers at this. "I DON'T KNOW WHAT I EVER SAW IN YOU! YOU DISGUST ME! AMOS, WE ARE OVER!" I screamed out the "we are over" part at the loudest volume that I could muster before bursting into tears. Through slightly blotchy eyes I could see Amos' flabbergasted face. I was thoroughly enjoying the show I was putting on, so I decided to give a curtain call. I edged closer to Potter who had come over to give Sirius a hand and pulled him into a bear hug. I paused between sobs and gulped for air. I began to hyperventilate, and finally I swayed on the spot. As I expected Potter rushed forward and I was able to gracefully faint in his arms.

I cannot accurately tell what happened next because I kept my eyes tightly shut. I felt Potter fanning my face, and a number of worried and outraged voices closing in around me. I heard more angry voices and I got the impression that they'd thrown Amos out of the common room. After a few minutes it seemed that there was a purge of all the non-Gryffindors and the chattering died down, just a bit. I spent that time debating whether it would be more effective to get up and take my bows or to stay "unconscious". I figured that for the benefit of my housemates I would concede that it was all a show. Plus I was too buzzed to stay "passed out" for long. After I was sure Amos was gone, I leapt up to cries of surprise and smiled around at everyone. "Well, I'm glad that's over with." I said mildly, fighting the strong urge to laugh.

There was a pause in which everyone stared; there was a whoop from the back of the room. Suddenly like a wave of sound the room was full of cheers and laughter and clapping. Black appeared from wherever he'd been grabbed my hand and took us both into a bow. There was another round of clapping as Potter joined the bow. Then in true Gryffindor fashion, everyone returned to their partying. Someone pushed another bottle of firewhisky into my hand and before I knew it, it seemed as if nothing unusual had happened at all.

"Cheers, to a splendid performance." I heard a voice in my ear. I turned to see Potter clink his bottle against mine before chugging his in one gulp, a skill I'm sure he learned with Black. He was smiling brightly and the color in his face has risen, giving him a pleasant glow. I was just drunk enough to appreciate it.

"Many thanks sir, and to you, for being good to your word. Mr. Potter, you never disappoint." I said struggling to keep a straight face.

He leaned in closer. "Never?"

I eyed him as skeptically as I could manage. He did look rather scrumptious and the liquor was impairing my judgment.

"Now don't get too cocky." I said seriously (no pun intended). "The _Marauders_ never disappoint. That was an impressive bit of transfiguration."

He grinned proudly. "Team effort. Sirius reckons he's got a bit of metamorphamagus blood in him. Used to make himself look like his brother when he was little, just to mess with his mum. I just helped him along a bit. Made a rather lovely bird didn't he?" Potter broke out into a new round of chuckles, which I indulged in joining.

We spent the rest of the night in a joyous haze, being congratulated on our stunt, drinking, receiving more compliments, drinking, watching Gwen and Sirius snog, drinking some more, and finally staggering back to the head's common room and crashing on the first sofa we found.

In retrospect it was liberating. Wonderful to just go ahead and pull a prank, do something nasty, and still not break any rules. But perhaps the most delightful and strange was the experience of waking up to morning light streaming through the windows, a mild headache, and to find myself wrapped comfortably in the arms of James Potter.

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So there you a have it. I know that chapter was rather short, but I promise to update much sooner on the next one. I'll have more time to work on this now that the summer is approaching. Thanks for reading, and keep your eyes open for updates through the summer!

Reviews always appreciated.

-Prongspal


	12. Damsel in distress

Hello lovely readers. I'm happy to say that I actually haven't been lazy and I've updated again. Thanks so much for sticking with the fic, I know I've been incredibly inconsistent. But I've finally gotten some free time and I'll be able to finish the story within the next few weeks. Enjoy!

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**Relationship Status**: Null and void, yes!

**Marauder Pranks**: Including mine…10

**Health and Sanity**: Did I ever have those?

When I opened my eyes that morning, the first thing that occurred to me was that the room was unnecessarily bright, and that the pounding in my brain was also highly unnecessary.

After I was awake enough to realize that yes, it was the morning and yes, I had a hangover, I also came to the realization that yes, I had spent the night curled up in Potter's arms. When the hangover thing occurred to me I figured might as well get up and cure it. However, when I made to get up from the couch I realized that a pair of warm strong arms were secured tightly around my waist. I twisted my head as much as I could in my current position and there he was. Potter was lying next to me on the couch, his hair was tousled and he was still fast asleep.

As much as I hate to admit it, it felt wonderful, just to be held. I hadn't realized how nice it was just to have someone near you. I knew how awkward it was, how insanely strange it was to have my housemate, arch-nemesis, friend, cohort, resident arse, and bicker buddy of 6 years, sleeping next to me. But somehow after everything, it didn't seem to matter much anymore. However, no matter what I thought of him in the moment, I would never be able to live down being wrapped in his arms when he woke up. So I reluctantly decided to get up. I slithered out from between his arms and watched intently as he frowned, grumbled and rolled over.

Now we must remember that I still had a mild hangover, and judging by what Potter had consumed the night before, I figured he would have a real nasty one. So, being the resourceful thing that I am, I stumbled up to my room and pulled out my potions set. I knew the draught well enough; it cured even the worst hangover within seconds. I let my mind wallow in its numbness, as my hands seemed to find the ingredients of their own accord. I ladled out one portion and downed it immediately. I considered being a royal bitch and leaving Potter to his headache when he woke up. But I reasoned that it would be a very low thing to do considering he just did me a favor, (to his own benefit, but a favor nonetheless). So I conjured a mug and poured some of the steaming liquid in.

When I went downstairs I found him still asleep. I placed the mug down and I scribbled a quick note telling him what it was, and that if he didn't haul his arse out of bed soon he'd miss breakfast. With that very meal in mind I made my way toward the door, stopping briefly to cast a blanket over Potter before I left. (I can be nice _sometimes_)

The next few days were like a breath of fresh air. I'd never thought that I would be so happy to be single. The pure joy of being free was enough to keep my spirits up for a week running.

Every time I saw Amos in class or in the halls he would stop and try to reason with me. The first time it had resulted in a rather nasty row. He went on about the bullshit prank that the Marauders cracked, and I went at him for putting his hands on a random girl (whether or not she was _actually_ a girl) and how he never respected me, etc.

When he went as far as having a go at my fellow Gryffindors, I cracked. I told him exactly what I thought of him, the real reason that I was breaking up with him, and how ready I was to be rid of him. He left me alone for a few days; then tried again. I got even more irritable and railed at him once more. Eventually he seemed to accept defeat.

The news of our break-up had spread like wildfire and I was being treated a little less than politely by many of the Hufflepuffs. Well, that is the Hufflepuffs other than the available 6th and 7th year boys who were much more friendly than I was used to. It seemed that I was suddenly a major object of interest.

The increased attention was flattering and exciting. But best of all, it made me feel more equal to Potter. Our relationship had shifted slightly. After having such a good time cavorting with the marauders, it was difficult to continue hating their guts. I could still greatly dislike Potter as an individual, but it wasn't the same. The rules and bounds of our enmity had shifted and the previous well-defined lines of battle were suddenly blurry. I didn't know what to think of Potter anymore, or how to act around him. I was reduced to maintaining a distance and waiting to see if he'd do anything nice.

The day after my break-up with Amos, we had another small spat which he ended suddenly by thanking me for the hangover draught, (he had then added with a wry grin that he hadn't needed it, he didn't get hangovers, but it was a nice gesture), the little shit. That had thrown me completely off guard and we didn't fight again for the rest of the week, a new record.

I had a general attitude of confusion over how I should be acting toward Potter who seemed to be strangely and subtly becoming a friend. I couldn't decide whether or not I liked the idea. I needed our rows, the chance to vent my anger. But with no other drama in my life and no teasing from Potter to make it worse, I had no anger to vent. So suddenly I didn't seem to miss our fights at all. It wasn't until one fateful night when we were doing our patrols that my opinion of Potter changed drastically.

It was late at night when Potter and I set out to do our nightly round of patrols. Often we would assign prefects to patrol different floors and so take care of most of the castle for us. Usually we'd split off and pair up with other people so as to avoid one another. However on this particular night it was a night off for the prefects and so we grudgingly agreed to take on the entire castle ourselves.

We began our search of the castle on the floors where we were most likely to find students out of bed (in the unused classrooms). It was never pleasant walking in on a couple going at it and trying to tell them to go back to bed. Oftentimes I would hover outside the room till they surfaced and then take away a few house points before shuffling them off to bed. Others, such as Potter had no shame in bursting into a classroom and tell them to get it on in their own beds. He never took house points if he could help it. I suppose after so many charades of his own, he knew what it was like to be harshly punished, and he let people get away with hardly a scratch.

So this night we were patrolling the castle, and making our way through winding hallways, checking behind tapestries and statues for rogue students snogging. We were walking in a comfortable silence for some time, broken only by an occasional couple or daring 1st year that we had to shoo back to their respective houses.

Presently he said, " So, now that you are free of Diggory, you are single, and quite available…" He grinned over at me. I scowled. It was my default reaction, but it was also a reaction to a strange fluttering I felt in my stomach when he said it. Honestly, we begin to get along well and he goes and says something like that. Right when I start thinking that he respects me for me, he shows that he is a pig-headed teenage boy with a one-track mind after all.

"Don't even start Potter!" I bit out irritably.

"What? I thought we were starting to get along rather well, so why wouldn't it work?" His usual bravado was slipping away, and he sounded like he was overdoing the cheekiness.

"Well we WERE getting along just fine until you went and ruined it!" I seethed.

Here we were, preparing for another row. I felt the anger bubbling up inside me from who knew where. Everything had been just fine, I hadn't needed to fight, and I didn't want to. For the first time in a long time, I didn't want to hate Potter and I didn't want to argue with him, but that fact only made me angrier and I felt the tension building up inside me. Potter could do that to me, put me into a flying rage at the drop of a dime. I don't know why I get so riled up, but in that moment he seemed to have ruined the very careful balance of our relationship. Just as I was getting used to the idea of not hating his guts forever and ever, he goes back to his old tactics, the ones that made me dislike him in the first place.

"We don't need to fight about this Evans." He muttered.

"Oh yes we do! I understand now Potter. You helped me get rid of Amos just so you could get to me! You helped me get away from one annoying bloke so that you could take his place making my life miserable!" I felt my voice shaking, a telltale sign of an oncoming screaming fit.

"I thought I always made your life miserable," he said with that bloody grin of his.

"YOU DO! And now you are insisting on continuing with your ridiculous juvenile banter and I am SICK OF IT!!"

"Evans, please…"

"IN FACT, I'M SICK OF YOU! GOODNIGHT POTTER!"

"Evans, where are you going? We can't just go to bed now! We still have the dungeons and the towers to patrol. And no matter how intolerable I may be, it's your _duty_ to patrol this castle!" His logic was good. But I had no patience for him at the moment.

"I am not going to bed Potter. I am going to go patrol the dungeons, you take the towers." I didn't want the towers because of the relentless stairs and the almost inevitable couple shagging that you'd find when you reached the top. I was angry, and hot-blooded and I had no patience for other people having sex.

"I don't want you going down to the dungeons alone." Potter said flatly. The nerve.

"EXCUSE ME? You don't think that I can take care of myself? The 7th year head girl is too weak and helpless to patrol the scary dungeons all alone! I am perfectly capable of handling myself Potter, and I certainly don't need _your_ help." I seethed.

Before Potter could reply I shouted "_Levicorpus_!" He gave a cry of surprise and while he was in the air, I turned on my heel and darted down the first staircase I found. I continued to bolt down the next few floors before I was sure that Potter had not followed me. Apparently he realized that there was no reasoning with me in my state and he gave up to go patrol the towers.

I was very satisfied in my victory. But it was a hollow one. I had actually enjoyed being closer to him. I had warmed up to the idea of accepting his faults and for once, embracing his many strengths. But what shocked me the most was the occasional flutter in my stomach when he winked at me, or gave me his signature grin. There is no doubt that he is an extremely attractive male, but our differences had, until now, kept all feelings of lust at bay. Now I didn't know what to think or feel, because everything that I hated about James Potter was slowly but surely disappearing from his character, and I could only hold onto the little faults in order to protect myself from his myriad attractions.

I was so wrapped up in my own thoughts about Potter as I wandered down one of the cold stone passages in the dungeons, that the attack came as a complete surprise. I had walked straight into a trap.

I was roused from my thoughts when quite suddenly my wand flew out of my hand, my feet froze in motion and seemed glued to the floor, and my cry of surprise was silenced. I flailed around helplessly in my new predicament, thinking that someone was playing a really nasty prank. But my thoughts changed when I saw something dark move out from the shadows down the hall. I couldn't see who the person was as they walked toward me, until he was a mere 2 feet away from me and he drew back his hood.

"My my, I set my trap for a marauder, but I catch a flower instead. What a delightful surprise Miss Evans." Snape drawled.

His sallow face glowed a nasty yellow in the torchlight. I attempted to reprimand him and demand that he set me free, but my words had no sound. I had to hand it to him, it was very cleanly done. I was wandless, I couldn't move, and I couldn't speak. I was sure that he had been expecting Potter to be the one patrolling the dungeons and had set a trap in order to get back at him for a rather nasty duel they'd had earlier in the week when they'd passed one another on their patrols.

He laughed at my vein attempts at speaking. "There's nothing you can do, Evans. You are completely at my mercy." His eyes sparkled maliciously and suddenly I got worried. I had assumed that he would tease me for a bit then let me go, but his eyes had a hungry look to them, and I didn't like the way they were scanning up and down my body.

"Don't worry, there's nothing to fear. That is, if you comply with my requests." He sneered at me. I glared right back. "You know, I was with Rita when she walked in on you and Diggory. I know the effects of a love potion when I see one Evans. I didn't know that you could have such a good shag when you are under the influence of one. Obviously its possible. Lucky for me I happened to bring this along." He withdrew a small vial from his robes and waved it in front of me.

"I nicked it from Jones and Diggory last week, its still quite potent. Care to try a taste?" He said seductively. I must have looked insane because my eyes became the size of saucers when I saw the vial. It was bad enough to be forced to be in love with my own Boyfriend, but Snape? That was just disgusting. I began to struggle violently against my magical bonds.

He stepped closer, still laughing, more like cackling. Snape had a very good evil cackle. And it was not a pleasant one to hear. He reached out and cupped my cheek, I whipped my face away from his grasp, but his hands roamed lower. I felt a shiver of disgust run up my spine as his hands curled around my waist and drew me closer to him. I struggled against his grasp, but it was firm and I didn't have full mobility. However in that moment I remembered that though I could not speak, I still could move my mouth. I spat in his face. It worked. He immediately let go of me. But a moment later he slapped me hard across the cheek and for a moment I saw stars. Now even more wary and with my cheek stinging I glared at him full-throttle. He stepped forward and roughly grabbed my face.

"I am going to give you a love potion, and we are going to go up to the Head's dorms where Potter will find us, and I WILL have my victory." He hissed. I could feel bruises forming where his fingers were gripping me. He then laid a rough, wet kiss on my lips. I wriggled but I could not escape his grasp. I felt his slimy tongue invading my mouth and I resorted to biting it. He finally released me, slapping me again for good measure.

He withdrew the love potion again and uncorked it, giving me a sinister smile. He then grabbed my throat forcing me to gasp for air. Just as he was about to pour it down my throat, the potion bottle shattered in his hand. He let go and looked up surprised, but no one else was in the corridor. Suddenly a spell shot out of nowhere and I felt that I could move my feet. It was a good thing too because next thing I knew I had to duck a jet of blue light as it sailed over my head. I peered into the darkness but I couldn't see a trace of my savior. Snape seemed to have reacted faster than I and he was shooting a number of spells at the vacant air from which the spells had come. I stayed flat on the floor, hoping to avoid being hit by the sudden volley of spells ricocheting off the walls and flying over me.

I discovered whom the mysterious person was when one of Snape's spells bounced off a wall and forced the person to dive to the side. Suddenly Potter was revealed in mid-air. I realized then that he must have crept down the corridor in his invisibility cloak. It was he who had come to my rescue, and I had never been so happy to see him. I felt a wave of relief wash over me as he deftly ducked a spell, and shot out one of his own, his face set and focused. As much as I trusted Potter to handle the fight well, I knew that Snape wouldn't be able to take on the two of us, if only I had a wand. As if my prayers had been answered I saw Snape drop one of the two wands he was holding as he dodged one of Potter's jinxes. I immediately began crawling toward it, but Snape saw me and aimed his next spell at me. I fell to the floor, ropes having twisted themselves tightly around every part of my body. I was completely stuck.

In the next moment two things happened. I felt the ropes loosen and fall off as Potter's spell freed me. I heard Snape scream "_Sectumsepmpra!_" and shortly after, a cry of pain. I rolled over and looked up. Potter was on the floor, and there was something dark and red flowing from his chest and stomach. It looked as though someone had slashed across his torso with a sword. He was writhing on the floor clutching his stomach and I was frozen with shock. I'd never seen a spell like that before.

Snape was smiling nastily as he sidled over to Potter. "Well if it isn't the famous Potter. Not so strong without your friends to protect you?"

"Bastard" I heard Potter bite out. His voice was tight and I could hear him holding back the pain.

"You should be more polite to your superiors. You see, I came up with this nice little spell on my own, and I'm the only one who can reverse its effects. After all, if I felt like it, I could just let you lie here and die." He sneered.

I took the opportunity to inch myself closer to the fallen wand, as Snape continued to talk. I glanced back at Potter. He had made no reply, but there was a steadily growing puddle of blood around him. I crawled as fast as I could go and still be quiet. I reached out on the floor, feeling around for that o so precious thin little piece of wood.

"No one would know it was me. You see, it would be difficult to target me as the attacker when there were only two witnesses and the spell came out of dear Lily Evans' wand." With that he kicked Potter hard in the side of his head. Potter groaned.

I whipped around just as my hand closed on the wand. Sure enough the wand he was twirling around for Potter's benefit was my own. His felt strange in my hand, but I knew what I had to do. I still had no freedom of my voice, but I had always been good at the nonverbal spells. A moment later my wand was flying out of his hands and into mine, and he was then suspended upside-down by his ankle, and he too was silenced.

He writhed and blustered angrily as his face turned red from the blood rushing to his head. I laid his wand on the ground just out of reach of his hands and ran to kneel beside Potter. He was white as a sheet and still bleeding freely. I could see bruises forming all along the right side of his face and he was bleeding from his mouth as well.

"Bloody hell." I muttered. No sound came out. I quickly reversed Snape's spell and regained my speech.

For a moment my mind drew a total blank. I knew I had to help him, I had to get him to the hospital wing, but looking at the bloody boy lying there just made me want to cry. I racked my brain for some sense and thankfully I remembered. I had practiced a number of healing spells in Flitwick's class and I called upon them now. I was beyond the awkward point now, I recklessly shoved open his robes and practically ripped off his blood-drenched shirt. His chest was a bright shining red, focused around a long gash running across it. I began whispering the charms, to stop the bleeding, to seal up the wound, to clean his body of the blood.

After I was done, he was still a sickly color, but the gash that had been bleeding so heavily was nothing but a thin line and his face was free of blemishes. His eyes that had been squeezed shut against the pain, flickered open and looked at me. "Lily?" he said quietly.

"Yes James, I'm here. It's alright, you're going to be alright." I said it as much for myself as for him. He beamed at me. "What?" I asked.

"You just called me James."

"That's your name isn't it?" I couldn't believe he was being so cocky when he had just lost about half of his body's supply of blood.

"Yeah, it just sounds really nice when you say it." He mumbled. I can't quite describe how warm that made me feel inside.

"Ok then, James." I said awkwardly. It did sound nice though.

He reached up and cupped my cheek. "Thank you."

I nodded dumbly. "The least I could do…" I mumbled. It was I who should be thanking him, but at the moment the only thing on my mind was making sure he wasn't going to die on me. "Do you think you can stand?" I asked tentatively.

"No. But I'll try anyway." He said resolutely. I helped him into a sitting position and he looked woozy. But his face was determined and with my help we were both standing. He swayed on the spot and had to grip onto me for support; I felt a not-unpleasant shiver run through my arms where he had touched them. I grabbed his arm and placed it securely around my shoulders.

"Come on, we'll walk together. I need to get you to the hospital wing now." He nodded and we began to move slowly down the hall. He paused when we were level with the still-inverted Snape. He raised his wand to cast a spell but I stopped him.

"NO… Let me do it."

I proceeded to cast a number of nasty jinxes that would have him in pain for days. "Serves him right." I said flatly. Potter, I mean James, just smiled at me and allowed me to help him up to the hospital wing. (Good god, I'm calling him James now. It should be strange but somehow it just feels right)

When we arrived at the Hospital wing, a blurry-eyed and rather irritated Madame Pomfrey greeted us at the door. She was young for a school nurse, but she was consistent. She had joined the staff in our third year straight out of training at St.Mungo's, and it seemed that she had a "magic" touch. I'd never known anyone to be in the hospital wing for more than a day or two since she had arrived at Hogwarts. And I was thankful for that now, I needed her help. I would never be able to forgive myself if Potter died for my sake.

"You had better be about to drop down dead, to be getting me out of bed this time of night." She grumbled. But when she looked at us properly, Potter now a sickly shade of green, and me covered in bruises, her faced changed and she was suddenly quite alert.

"Come along dearies, right this way." She bustled us into the room and snapped into action. "How you two got yourselves into this mess, head boy and girl, and in the middle of the night too… but I won't ask any questions, none of my business actually." She continued to mutter a stream of comments as she helped me lower James onto the nearest bed. I was about to go, feeling relieved and free now that I knew James was in good hands, but she wouldn't hear of it. "Now honestly, you think I'm going to allow you to go back to bed, what with the state you're in?" She then proceeded to force me onto the bed beside James', to some of my mild protestations. I gave in quickly though. I was exhausted from the climb up the stairs with half of James' weight, and my entire body ached.

Madame Pomfrey looked after me first, quickly healing my bruises. Then she turned to James. "Well, what's wrong with him?" She asked me pointedly.

I stared back at her. How much was I supposed to tell her? There was a code among the students. When you had a duel, it was between those dueling only, you did not rat out one another to the teachers. And though this episode had not been an arranged duel, it still felt wrong to tell her what Snape did, especially considering that I'd more than gotten back at him with my handful of jinxes. "He lost a lot of blood m'am." I said carefully.

"Was it damage from a spell?" she inquired. I told her the effect of the spell itself, without divulging who had cast it. She looked somber as I described it. "That's dark magic." She said softly. "Only rarely have I heard of a spell having that effect. This could be serious." She bent over James and gently pushed back the robes that were still hanging open. She took a moment surveying the wound and turned back to me. "It's a nasty one alright, but he should be fine. Was it you that fixed that up?" I nodded. She smiled at me.

"You have a knack for healing Miss Evans, that was not an easy wound to heal, I think the boy was lucky you were there, a less practiced witch or wizard may not have been able to save him. I can probably prevent it from scarring, and replenish his blood supply, but it looks as though most of my work is done for me. I think you should consider a career in Healing Ms.Evans, it may suit you well in these dark days."

I smiled back. I hadn't realized that I'd done so well. I'd been so terrified that he was going to die on me at any moment that it never occurred to me that I might have fixed the damage already. I was relieved sure, but mostly I felt a swell of pride at her words. I was pretty sure I didn't want to be a healer, but it was nice to know that it is something I'm good at. I'm sure it will help me beyond the walls of the castle.

"Now dear, you get your rest while I attend to Mr. Potter. You've had a rough night."

"No. I…I'd like to stay up with him, if that's alright?" I said hesitantly.

She gave me a knowing smile, "Of course you do dear." She conjured a chair beside his bed and turned her back to me. I went and sat down next to him. His eyes were closed, but I could tell that he was awake.

I just sat and stared at him. Just an hour ago he had caused my blood to run hot with anger, he had set me on edge and sent me off in a fit. But now, lying there still incredibly pale, and surprisingly still, I suddenly wondered how he could ever make me angry ever again. What he did for me tonight was going further than I had ever thought. He actually, truly cared about me. He must have decided against checking the towers just to follow me and make sure I didn't run into any trouble. And when I did, he came and got me out of it. Go figure.

This time I knew I really owed him something. He had stepped over the bounds of whatever our relationship was, and he has risked his neck for my sake. All for me. And now looking down at his limp form on the bed, it made my heart ache. In that moment my opinion of James Potter totally changed. I could never truly hate him, and I realized that I never really did. I had wanted to push him away so badly that I had made myself believe that he was such a pompous ass. But now I knew better. He was just a guy, a bit over-confident, a bit egotistical, but still warm, friendly, generous and protective of those he cared about. I now felt extremely lucky to be counted as one of them.

When Madame Pomfrey had finished sealing up his wound completely, she handed me a bottle of something a deep red color, and a glass. "If you're going to sit up with him, make sure he drinks a glass of this, it should replenish his blood in no time. Then I want both of you to get a little shut-eye." She gave me another soft smile, then she headed off to her own bed.

I turned back to James. "I know you're not asleep, and you heard the woman. You'll feel better if you drink this." James opened his eyes and smiled up at me.

"You know me all too well Lily." He grinned. I loved the way he said my name. It slipped off his tongue in such a natural way and it sent a little shiver down my spine. He made to sit up, winced and then tried again. I sat in silence as he took the glass I handed to him and downed it with a grimace. "Why do all healing potions have to taste to bloody nasty?" He grumbled. I giggled and he looked at me quizzically. "You alright then?" He asked, concern on his face. "I'm sorry I was so useless after…"

"Useless? You were NOT useless James Potter! You saved my arse back there, its me that should be thanking you on bended knee!" I huffed. Then I decided that was exactly what I ought to be doing, so I knelt down beside the bed and grasped his hand. "Thank you." I said seriously. "If you hadn't gotten there in time… well, it wouldn't have been a pretty picture. So, thank you."

He looked at me hard, as if surprised that I was actually thanking him. Then his face broke into one of his trademark grins, and he didn't look pale at all anymore, in fact he seemed to glow. "Anytime." He said with a wink.

"What made you come back for me?" I asked tentatively.

"You know, even the great Lily Evans can't always handle things all by herself." He laughed. "I saw you on this." He pulled out an old piece of parchment from his robes and I looked at him curiously. "It's a map, look. I solemnly swear I am up to no good."

The parchment suddenly sprouted black ink lines that spread across it to form the shape of Hogwarts. I looked on, astonished. It was a neat bit of magic and extremely useful. Better still I saw the labeled dots of all the people in school. I could see that Snape was still stuck in that corridor in the dungeons. But I saw a passage down there from behind a statue on the third floor that I hadn't been aware of. So _that_ was how James had made it down to the dungeons so quickly. "This is brilliant!" I whispered.

"I thought you would like it. Just don't make me hand it in." He said warily.

"Are you kidding? This is a treasure, no one in their right minds would give this in to the teachers!" I gushed.

"My my my, it looks like teacher's pet Lily Evans is loosening up a bit." He grinned at me.

"This would explain A LOT of your pranks of the past 7 years, I have very good blackmail now." I shot him a pointed look.

"Right. Well, I saw you and Snivellus on the map and I figured that something must be amiss, so I came down to beat Snivellus' arse for you." He said proudly.

"You seem to be forgetting that the one who actually fried his arse was ME." I countered.

"Yes but if it weren't for my heroic deed of almost dying for you, you'd be down there snogging his greasy arse."

"I didn't ask you to risk your life for me."

"I didn't need to save you."

"Save me? You're making it sound like I was some damsel in distress!"

"You were."

"You were the one who got all bloody and battered."

"Some thanks for my pains. They were battle wounds if you recall."

"That I healed!"

"And I thanked you for that already."

"Yes and I thanked you for, as you call it, 'saving me'."

We stared at each other for a moment. I knew where this could head if we let it, but neither of us wanted to argue again. There was a split second of tension when no one said anything. Then I watched as the corner of his mouth twitched, and his eyes were glimmering. And at the same moment we both burst out laughing. It felt like hours before we stopped, my stomach hurt from all the laughter and I had tears in my eyes before we finally calmed down.

I sighed. "I'm exhausted, we should both sleep. Especially you."

He nodded his agreement. " 'Course. I'm tired too. I just… I don't want to sleep alone."

I stared at him. "Look, I know you shag a lot of girls James, but I'm sure you can go for one night without having one in your bed."

He turned bright pink, which looked absolutely adorable. "That's not what I meant at all." He mumbled. "I just wondered if…if you wouldn't mind lying next to me. Just for tonight." He looked at me, calculating my reaction.

My first instinct was to say a very vehement NO, and make sure that I didn't send any wrong messages. But then I remembered how nice it had felt to be held, and that I too, didn't want the feeling of being alone. Not tonight, when I had realized my own limitations. Tonight we had needed each other, and so it didn't feel so strange to stay close, just for one night. We had come to a truce, and it was good, so who was I to deny it.

"Alright then." I said softly, feeling my face burn. He looked surprised but pleased and he moved over to make room for me. I slipped off my shoes and crawled in beside him. I turned my back to him so we both fit comfortably, and I felt his arms circle around my waist again. Once more I felt that sense of safety and warmth. I could feel his steady breath on my neck and it was another comfort. I could also feel the drum of his heartbeat reverberate against my back and it was that, which finally lulled me to sleep.

I woke up the next morning to Madame Pomfrey shaking me gently. I was groggy and irritated, we'd gone to bed late and judging by the bluish tinge to the light in the room, it was still early. Not to mention I had been extremely comfortable where I was, curled up close to James' warm frame.

"Rise and shine dear." She said kindly. I grumbled.

"If you want to get breakfast, change and still be on time for your first class, you'll need to get up now." She lectured. I groaned but sat up nonetheless. I shivered; the room was cold. I had half a mind to just flop down again next to the still-sleeping James (the boy can sleep through anything). But Madame Pomfrey immediately steered me away from his bed and forced me to sit down on mine. She turned to look at me and her stare was grim and worried.

" I have a potion for times such as these. I do wish you had used more sense dear. That sort of exertion was not good for the boy's health, not after loosing so much blood. Now, I need to know whether you used the spell or not."

"What spell? Did I not cure him properly? Oh Merlin, I didn't mess up the healing charms did I? I'd feel right awful if I have." I began to panic.

"No, Mr. Potter was cured well enough…perhaps too much. I was referring to what you did _after_ his wounds were healed." She looked pointedly from me to the empty spot in the bed beside James. Suddenly it clicked.

"WHAT? I…we never…don't know what you are insinuating…absolutely ridiculous…we didn't…can't imagine that we would've…Madame Pomfrey!" I stuttered, completely flustered.

She gave me a long hard look then said, "So you two did not…"

"NO we absolutely did nothing of the sort!" I said vehemently.

"I see. My apologies, the situation suggested… well, never mind. Both of you should be up, breakfast is starting. I'm sure at least Mr. Potter will need to change his shirt before class. You could also use some fresh clothes." She stated, scrutinizing my disheveled robes.

I gave her a curt nod and proceeded to wake James up. It was a long process that involved a lot of pushing, shoving, tugging, threats, pleading and eventually tickling. I finally woke him when he laughed so much from the tickling that he rolled off the bed and we ended up in a giggling heap on the floor. When he had regained his power of speech he gave me a bleary-eyed grin. "Well this is possibly the most pleasant thing I've woken up to in ages."

"Really? What is it normally?" I asked.

"Usually its Sirius in his froggy boxers, doing a little victory dance after dumping a bucket of ice over my head. "

"Sounds amusing to me"

"It gets old REALLY quickly. Not to mention it's bloody frigid."

"And our breakfast will be too, if we don't get a move on. Come on sleepy head, we have classes to attend to."

"Oh those silly things? Why bother? Saving your innocence is much more fun." He winked.

"You know, of all the reasons for you to skip class, 'saving' my innocence is not one of them."

I liked our witty banter much better than our rows. My voice wasn't hoarse, I wasn't angry and it was actually rather fun to swap jibes in a civilized way.

After we had left the hospital wing, plodded up to our dorm, changed and sullenly shoveled down breakfast, I felt that there was something unfinished. There was that remaining tension between us, we could not yet quite think of ourselves as friends, it had not been declared, and it didn't seem right. But we didn't hate each other any more, so we weren't exactly rivals either. Because I didn't know who he was to me, I no longer knew how to act around James Potter.

During potions while James was carefully stirring the Felix Felicis, now a sparkling shade of silver, I decided to make my move.

"This isn't a truce you know." I said flatly.

He looked at me surprised, his face darkened slightly. A moment later he was giving me his stupid grin. "Of course not. After all, why would saving your honor be worthy of friendship? I'm still that jerk that you love to hate." He said it with his normal jovial swagger, but I could see the disappointment in his eyes.

"I don't hate you." I said softly. "But that doesn't mean that I can't reprimand you for just about everything you do." I tried to return the signature grin, but I had a feeling it looked more like a sloppy smirk.

He smiled though. "So we're back to fun with Ice-queen Evans. I'm so excited. I love it when you're feisty."

I tried to give him a reproving glare, but it wasn't working anymore. I couldn't quite hide the smile that was tugging at the sides of my mouth. He had successfully broken through my cool exterior and there was no going back. But I could pretend. At least, for a little while…

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Hey, for all Snape-lovers, I'm sorry. I know that this slightly deviates from the books, but I started writing the fic before DH and I figured that it would be better for me to stay in the world of the fic rather than change halfway through. Anyhow, I was slightly disappointed by the low numbers of reviews for the last chapter. It's really nice to hear from you guys, it's the main reason why I still write. Even just a word or two is always appreciated. Thanks so much!

-prongspal


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